I am the mum of a gifted child. AMA

[mumof2andimtired]

My son is 8 years old and is considered gifted. I usually just browse on mumsnet but I decided to make a post cause so many people in real life have so many questions!

I also have a 12 year old daughter

Because he was so good at maths or because of his autism?

He was struggling in class because he was bored and it would cause him to act out. So the school ended up realising how advanced he was with literature and langauge, maths and science. We did tell them this when he started school so it's not like they were shocked but they did realise he needed more support

Is this quite difficult for him op as it’s paired with his autism?

I was above average iq, tested when I was about 8, I’m in Mensa. Iq in top two percent of population. But I’m not autistic.

is it a difficult balance? one his ability with information, but also potential issues with sensory overload, routines, social communication etc

I think in autistic people it’s about 40 percent fall into the category of gifted.

Yes it is very difficult for him. His autism has really affected him socially and right now my main priority is supporting him socially. And emotionally. He struggles to express how he feels and often times those emotions are expressed through frustration.

Do you get help for this? Does he? Because he’s got the intelligence sorted, so I guess this is the right bit to focus on.

What did your dd's assessment show?

These gifted child threads really do seem to bring out the worst in people!

What does "globally gifted" mean?

Yes! He goes to therapy to support his autism.

My daughter isn't considered gifted. But she is very smart in general and she is extremely creative. Her strengths are never dismissed in this household

It means my son isn't just gifted for one subject, he is considered gifted for all academic subjects.

Please continue to focus on his emotional and social needs. Ultimately these are WAY more important than being labelled “globally gifted”.

It’s high cognitive ability,good with numbers, sequences etc a high iq basically. , it’s very common in autistic people. I guess the silver lining.

I dislike the term ‘gifted’ so much. A gift from whom? God? So all other children (and adults) have been denied this gift, never had it bestowed on them.

If your son’s clever, take pride in that. There’s no need to pursue silly terms that imply mystical specialness.

No I meant autism assessment.

I agree. My daughter really loved maths at that age and was doing GCSE level work when she was still at primary school. She was reading fluently when she was four and was also able to write quite well. I didn’t consider her to be gifted - she was just an avid reader and very good at maths, and wanted to get as far forward as she could. There were several other children in her class who were similar and none of them were labelled as gifted.

So he performs academically 4 years higher in every school subject? What does that actually mean for his every day and future?

what would you see him doing in the future?

I agree I think it’s a really odd term that will probably be changed in a few years. It also means people just think you’re showing off that your child is very clever. Basically he is neurodivergent meaning his brain works differently (like all ND children) and it means he has very high cognitive ability that is advanced for his age. Not typically defeloping. And there will be deficits too like his inability to understand social behaviour.

4 years higher in maths. For science he is much more advanced because science is his special interest. So he will spend hours willingly learning more about science. Science is a conceptual topic, so he can understand science a lot quicker than maths which is more focused on procedural practice so he has to learn steps before understanding the maths. Whereas science he just read a topic and understand it

He loves science. So I can imagine him having a career to do with science when he is an adult.

I think ALL schools have a "gifted and talented" register. It basically just the top 5-10% of pupils. They don't tell the pupils or their parents this, but you can find the policy on school websites... So gifted doesn't mean much!

Does this label not make you feel incredibly sad?

He's 8 😅
Try not to pigeonhole him.

Does the label of gifted have any impact on him? What are the changes the school will make to support him? Does he have an EHCP?