I was child free by choice but now I have a child. AMA

[random91]

Basically the title. I was very firmly child free by choice and then I had my son when I was 35 years old.

How is that any different from any other person who waits until they are 35 to have a child? Hardly uncommon these days.

Did you get pregnant on purpose?

I was childfree like you, that is until I had my child. Lol.

Do you mean you were very staunchly against having children and changed your mind? Or got pregnant by accident and decided to continue the pregnancy? If you just choose to have a baby at 35 when before you were unsure and preventing pregnancy, that would be the case for a lot of mums no?

My friend had her DD at 39 under similar circumstances. She always told me she was ‘too selfish’ to be a mum, but she’s a great mum (her dd is a teen now). I expect she met the right guy to have a child with!!

I mean I was child free by choice until I was ready to have my DC as well. Not sure why you think you are out of the ordinary

Well surely lots of people are not 'childfree' before having kids at 35, i.e. they always planned to do that. There's a difference between not yet having children and planning never to do so.

I too was childfree before my children were born.

I never wanted to have kids. The pregnancy was a surprise and I chose to continue the pregnancy

I asked to be sterilised aged 26. GP said no. I now have two adult sons 🤷‍♀️

Do you wish you made a different decision?

Any regrets?
How has it been verses your expectations of motherhood?
Do you think you would be happy childfree now you have experienced the other side?
Are there things you wish you could tell your old childfree self?

Do you regret it?

We were all child free before we had a child…

Do you regret keeping the baby? This is no different to any younger person not wanting kids, and then changing their mind once older though really.

I’m baffled by some of the AMAs atm. I was also childfree till my mid 30s. I did not want children at all but I have 2 kids now. I’m not unusual in any way that I know of here.

The other AMA I'm a bit confused by right now is the woman whose husband earns £150k and she claims to be working class. Again - far far from unusual. I thought the whole point of AMA was to offer an insight into unusual lives?

How can a pregnancy be a surprise? If you didn't want children you wouldn't have been actively trying to get pregnant - no condom, no other birth control or poor management of your contraception is actively trying.

It is different, OP only changed her mind because she got pregnant

No, it’s not. A huge amount of people continue with their ‘surprise’ pregnancy. Those fully against having kids don’t. OP decided to carry hers on.

So did you conceive by accident (or whatever you want to call it) like OP or did you change your mind and then get pregnant?

Most people who have their surprise baby aren’t usually strongly against having children at some point, it just happens sooner than they’d planned. I know a friend been childfree all her life been very open about never wanting children then at 42 got pregnant and carried on with the pregnancy. She had always been strongly against having children (until it happened)

Glad you agree it’s very common then… not sure what else to say.

Do you ever regret it?

Do you agree with people who say having your own children is different, when you say you don't want any.
Only asking because I didn't want any but love being a mum and can't imagine not being one now.

I agree. I had my 3rd child by the age of 26. I was done then but still highly fertile. 38 now - never been pregnant since. It isn’t rocket science is it? You dont get a surprise. OP clearly wanted a baby.