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AMA

I'm a single mum of 7. AMA!

1000 replies

WorldCupSadness · 25/07/2026 13:29

Scared 😅

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 25/07/2026 17:55

Were you glad when the cap on 2 kids benefits system was stopped. Did you or your kids suffer poverty when it was first introduced.

Xanhi · 25/07/2026 17:56

WorldCupSadness · 25/07/2026 13:44

4

Lots of different reasons... I did always want a big family though. Probably because I have no other family.

I'm excellent at budgeting, and I don't have expensive habits or go out 😅

You are not excellent at budgeting. The tax payers who are paying for your children and housing are the ones who are excellent at budgeting.

Tings · 25/07/2026 17:58

Ponoka7 · 25/07/2026 17:55

No, because if our birth rate drops, we are told we need more immigration, regardless of the health and skill level. It's much better for a country to have a stable birth rate, than ship hundreds of thousands of adults within a fifteen year age range.
The OP's family costs the same as, one year, per person, in prison. We put people in prison who we could deport. That's before stupid spending, tax breaks and overseas contributions (not aid). Part of the reason we don't have communities etc is because we've stopped valuing families. The OP is bringing up seven children, the eldest is off to university, the OP is in further education, so she is teaching her children, education matters. She's cost less than one child going through foster care, or what Preston Davey's family has caused/cost. Were does putting a price tag on start? Why are we attacking the people needing a bit of help, but doing a good enough job?
@Tings my children were partly raised on benefits. I've been praised, the last time was in the dental hospital with my youngest when she was 26. So I wouldn't put money on your theory. FYI all my children are in work.

my children were partly raised on benefits. I've been praised, the last time was in the dental hospital with my youngest when she was 26. So I wouldn't put money on your theory. FYI all my children are in work.

This doesn't change the fact it's statistically unlikely?

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 17:59

Mamansparkles · 25/07/2026 17:53

I am hard judging some of the judgy posts on here and their assumptions. OP is a domestic abuse survivor. She went straight into a relationship at 19 and we know women end up in a pattern of coercive relationships (maybe that is why she gets anxious as a result of those experiences?). At least some of the kids are a result of those relationships not just carelessness and entitlement.
She sounds to have turned things around, escaped, is bright and is now using her intelligence to get a degree and earn more in future. Whilst working 21 hours a week - that is a solid work ethic. She could just be a SAHM on those benefits but chooses to work. It's not like she can send the kids back.
So, bright kids (eldest off to uni), being raised to see you can turn things round with a good work ethic and as functional members of society is exactly what we need in a low birth rate society.
Bit confused by the 3 month old though - but I'm pro-choice so would never pressure a woman to abort an unplanned baby.
This isn't the kind of generational benefit cycle family PPs are imagining - they don't work or get degrees whilst raising 7 kids! So chances are OPs kids will pay back into the system well.
I don't grudge her a penny. Well done OP on getting to where you are and best of luck.

You are saying you are hard-judging judgey people but there are lots of judgments inherent in your own comments, such as "not just a sahm."

You are either against judging or you aren't. You can't say you only agree with judging if they mirror your judgements.

People will judge, and they don't all have to be the same judgments as yours.

Askingforafriendtoday · 25/07/2026 17:59

I take my hat off to you OP, seriously
Sonebody's got to be producing the bext generation
You sound like a lovely mum

Paperclipscookies · 25/07/2026 17:59

Love this, always wanted to be a big family but we’ve stopped at 4 personally as can’t afford anymore but envy you! ❤️

aquaporfav · 25/07/2026 18:00

WorldCupSadness · 25/07/2026 13:43

Around 4k a month (includes rent)

Outrageous.

I suppose this must be rage bait.

If this is true the system is absolutely FUCKED.

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 18:00

Askingforafriendtoday · 25/07/2026 17:59

I take my hat off to you OP, seriously
Sonebody's got to be producing the bext generation
You sound like a lovely mum

We are actually quite over-populated as a planet. The ones producing one or two children are doing enough ...

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 18:02

@Tings what are the statistics based on? Because during the 70s 42% of people lived in council housing, so all those dc who grew up in council housing never went to work?

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 18:03

@Calliopespathe west isn’t & we need immigration to support the elderly. Except that’s not too popular either.

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 18:05

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 18:03

@Calliopespathe west isn’t & we need immigration to support the elderly. Except that’s not too popular either.

Yes but that is still a bit like piling more people onto an already overloaded, overweight plane because there is a bit of space in first class.

aquaporfav · 25/07/2026 18:05

Oooeeh · 25/07/2026 17:51

And £1.1k in CM payments. That’s £88k.

You can see why middle earners have had enough. Not a pop at you OP - you claim what you can because that’s the system.

And if you earn 88K you don't get child benefit but your hard work pays for Op and similar's child benefit. Crap system.

Oppositesituation · 25/07/2026 18:06

Ponoka7 · 25/07/2026 17:55

No, because if our birth rate drops, we are told we need more immigration, regardless of the health and skill level. It's much better for a country to have a stable birth rate, than ship hundreds of thousands of adults within a fifteen year age range.
The OP's family costs the same as, one year, per person, in prison. We put people in prison who we could deport. That's before stupid spending, tax breaks and overseas contributions (not aid). Part of the reason we don't have communities etc is because we've stopped valuing families. The OP is bringing up seven children, the eldest is off to university, the OP is in further education, so she is teaching her children, education matters. She's cost less than one child going through foster care, or what Preston Davey's family has caused/cost. Were does putting a price tag on start? Why are we attacking the people needing a bit of help, but doing a good enough job?
@Tings my children were partly raised on benefits. I've been praised, the last time was in the dental hospital with my youngest when she was 26. So I wouldn't put money on your theory. FYI all my children are in work.

I have to say that I agree with what you said - I'd much rather my tax is used to pay for a family like this instead of paying for prison for someone who could be deported.
My only worry would be that the person gets deported and then comes back again illegally and commits the same crimes, not sure if system is robust enough to deal with something like this. If it is, then I have no idea why on earth criminals wouldn't just get deported.

AgedPudding · 25/07/2026 18:06

If you lived in a 5 bedroom mansion paid for with family wealth then there would be very different set of replies on here

Well obviously. The taxpayer wouldn't be paying for them would they?

ForeverNowWithin · 25/07/2026 18:07

WorldCupSadness · 25/07/2026 13:42

17, 15, 13, 10, 7, 5 and 3 months.
Only 7 and 5yo see theirs, supervised for 4 hours once a month. The older ones aren't resentful as they hate him (their previous stepfather, we fled DV), but it is vile when the little ones come home with heaps of gifts. That's on my ex though...

So the father of the 7 and 5 yo was an abuser and stepfather to your eldest four? So how many fathers do they have between them and do they see them? And who is the father of the youngest? You moved on pretty quickly between babies 6 and 7 considering you had fled a DV situation in between.

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 18:08

@Calliopespa why would you think that? You think a Somalian child has the same carbon footprint as someone from the west?

It’s more of a case of I’m on the plane and you are not allowed on because I don’t want to be uncomfortable!

AJLOAL · 25/07/2026 18:09

How many Dads are there?

Askingforafriendtoday · 25/07/2026 18:10

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 18:00

We are actually quite over-populated as a planet. The ones producing one or two children are doing enough ...

No, they're not and it's not just in the UK

BBC News - 'It's not a nice world out there': Birth rates hit a 50-year low - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgzdq23xpgo?app-referrer=deep-link

A photograph of Stacey Waring wearing a red top standing in a barn. She is by herself wearing dark sunglasses on her head and smiling at the camera.

'It's not a nice world out there': Birth rates hit a 50-year low

Live births in England and Wales are at their lowest since 1977, while the age of first-time mothers has also risen.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgzdq23xpgo?app-referrer=deep-link

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 18:10

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 18:08

@Calliopespa why would you think that? You think a Somalian child has the same carbon footprint as someone from the west?

It’s more of a case of I’m on the plane and you are not allowed on because I don’t want to be uncomfortable!

Edited

No I don't but you are talking about adding more children in the West, not in Somalia.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/07/2026 18:11

Sure you were overjoyed when uc went from 2 kids to unlimited

so another 5 x £300 ish a month

I have no issue with people wanting lots of kids - but to get so much in benefit's that is more than many people work /earn is a little hard to swallow

tho well done for doing a degree /law and hopefully bettering self and eventually getting off uc

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 18:11

@Calliopespawhere did I say add more dc to the west?

The west has birth rates below replacement rate in most countries. I was just making the point that the west isn’t overpopulated because of lots of people having lots of dc.

Oooeeh · 25/07/2026 18:12

aquaporfav · 25/07/2026 18:05

And if you earn 88K you don't get child benefit but your hard work pays for Op and similar's child benefit. Crap system.

Edited

Don’t forget the £2k a month in nursery fees if you’re over £100k

PearlButtons · 25/07/2026 18:12

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Thisthreadhasbeendeleted · 25/07/2026 18:15

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