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AMA

I'm a single mum of 7. AMA!

1000 replies

WorldCupSadness · 25/07/2026 13:29

Scared 😅

OP posts:
chedderland · 25/07/2026 16:03

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 16:01

Exactly!

You either agree with a safety net or not. The OP gets more as she as so many dc, plenty of smaller families need help too.

Surely she should have stopped at 2 if she was such a disaster with men? Why should the ever decreasing tax paying population front the bill for people like this? It’ll be here “safety net” for decades. She has a magical flexible job so why can’t she ask for more hours? Because she’ll get less benefits of course.

JellyRolling · 25/07/2026 16:03

This thread makes me miserable. Child-free here - I say by choice but reading this makes me question my choice!

I work silly hours and I earn just under £4k a month after tax. I’m finally in a financially stable position but guess what… I have no time to be the parent I would want to be (due to the demanding but decent paying job), no spare money to raise a child the way I would want to raise them (due to the higher tax bracket) and no time left on the biological clock really (due to waiting to meet the man I married).

Perhaps I would still be happy had I become a single mum of 7 - I think I’d feel less like I’m ploughing into a society that gives nothing back.

So my question is: if you had your time again, would you do anything differently? If so, what?

RedRock41 · 25/07/2026 16:04

JacknDiane · 25/07/2026 15:54

@WorldCupSadness , do you struggle financially?

Clearly not given OP has just employed a cleaner and mentioned savings. Both are things much more hard working families cannot afford. Why is it right their taxes go to OP?

Boreded · 25/07/2026 16:06

WorldCupSadness · 25/07/2026 13:44

4

Lots of different reasons... I did always want a big family though. Probably because I have no other family.

I'm excellent at budgeting, and I don't have expensive habits or go out 😅

Seems to me you do have an expensive habit, unprotected sex.

TheToteBagLady · 25/07/2026 16:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 16:07

@chedderlandso it’s ok to have 2 and get benefits?

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 16:08

@RedRock41lots of families aren’t paying enough tax for themselves let alone funding others, what is it that people are not understanding?

Whosthetabbynow · 25/07/2026 16:09

A cleaner? On UC? I’ve heard it all now

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 25/07/2026 16:09

fuggetaboutit · 25/07/2026 14:44

Honestly- i'm judging you and I have 5 children, with my husband.

I am the eldest of more children than you have, and I am no contact with my parents. My childhood was robbed from me, and I had more stability than what your children have and it still wasn't good enough.

Your children are the ones who suffer from your poor life choices. Its not good enough. There's not much you can do about it now, but you will see the fall out in years to come and hopefully you will take responsibility for your actions- unlike my parents.

I know it's normal for toddler eldest children who learn that there's another baby on their way - and they worry about being replaced/having to share their parents... but I do wonder what it must be like for the older ones - whatever age they are - when they see another baby arriving, and another, and another, and another - and wonder just how much more thinly all of the available resources will be spread.

I bet there's also a common feeling that the clock is ticking for you to leave home - not just feeling that you'll leave when you feel properly ready, but that you're literally being squeezed out more and more with every new arrival, with no idea of when/if it will ever end.

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 16:10

chedderland · 25/07/2026 16:02

Most aren’t claiming 4k a month. Theres something badly wrong with the uk benefits system as many people see it as a lifestyle choice.

Most aren’t getting 4k because having 7dc is highly unusual

chedderland · 25/07/2026 16:12

Boreded · 25/07/2026 16:06

Seems to me you do have an expensive habit, unprotected sex.

Not at her expense of course

Delphiniumandlupins · 25/07/2026 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I don't think the OP has said whether she, her children or their fathers are "native" or "newcomer". I resent paying tax so that she can have so many children that she (and their fathers) can't afford to support. Also, it's still racism.

Teeheehee1579 · 25/07/2026 16:18

I think this is goady nonsense. I hope it is anyway. Otherwise yes I judge and it would make me incredibly angry that someone was larking about having 7 kids whilst being funded to the tune of over £50k per year by the tax payer whilst she does a few hours of work a week. I believe in a safety net when it’s needed, when people fall on hard times through no fault of their own. NOT for people choosing to have too many kids with a litany of clearly unsuitable men.

Britainisgreat · 25/07/2026 16:19

Daughter's school classmate was one of 14, all same dad though. Irish Catholics. I joked with her "how many turkeys do you have at Christmas?"

whatsit84 · 25/07/2026 16:20

Flazzled · 25/07/2026 13:45

Wowzer. You receive more in benefits than I earn.

More in benefits than my husband earning about 70k earns!

Oppositesituation · 25/07/2026 16:24

DancingNotDrowning · 25/07/2026 15:49

I’m also inclined to agree with @HollyhocksandPeons someone has to be having babies.

Imagine if country/things were run much better and an average family could have 3-4 kids instead of some people having 7 and putting them through DV experiences and life on benefits.
Wouldn't that be better? But for things to run properly, someone has to switch off the benefit tap.

RedRock41 · 25/07/2026 16:24

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 16:08

@RedRock41lots of families aren’t paying enough tax for themselves let alone funding others, what is it that people are not understanding?

I completely agree. One job I had was income max. It was astonishing seeing the net £s left after bills for families working FT vs families either not working or working PT to qualify for more benefits. The latter group were often much better off, eligible for lots of help yet the former were doing everything right and many struggling. Yet if they were allowed to keep more of their tax, the efforts of their hard graft instead of having to fund grifters, the quality of their and their children’s lives would have been much improved. Had many such Clients in tears due to their financial situation. When was the last time you cried OP over lack of money for basics?

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 25/07/2026 16:27

WorldCupSadness · 25/07/2026 13:38

Some planned, some not. I doubt I'll have any more as I'm on my own

Why would this be the only deciding factor in whether you have more or not? Contraception does exist and it’s not the law that you need to have a child with every man you’re in a relationship with. It’s hardly fair on the children.

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 25/07/2026 16:29

What the hell have I just read? 🫣

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 25/07/2026 16:30

Teeheehee1579 · 25/07/2026 16:18

I think this is goady nonsense. I hope it is anyway. Otherwise yes I judge and it would make me incredibly angry that someone was larking about having 7 kids whilst being funded to the tune of over £50k per year by the tax payer whilst she does a few hours of work a week. I believe in a safety net when it’s needed, when people fall on hard times through no fault of their own. NOT for people choosing to have too many kids with a litany of clearly unsuitable men.

I think so, too. The OP’s reply to the question of whether all kids share the same dad of “god no” was the giveaway. As is her follow on reply suggesting that she only won’t have more because she’s single.

Optimist2020 · 25/07/2026 16:31

basketsmash · 25/07/2026 15:34

Loads of families with fewer dc can’t afford foreign holidays or to fund university.

Yes but I wonder whether the OP has given any meaningful thought on having 7 children and the ability to provide them a good standard of living ? I wonder if her children participate in any activities as well.

Minnie798 · 25/07/2026 16:34

How do you find the time to spend 1-1 time with each child.
How do you manage to support each child's hobbies/ extra curricular activities, children generally have different interests.

Snugglemonkey · 25/07/2026 16:34

circleheart · 25/07/2026 14:35

OP, there are lots of very judgy posts on her and lots of assumptions, but honestly you do you. Sounds like you're working towards getting your children a good life. If you lived in a 5 bedroom mansion paid for with family wealth then there would be very different set of replies on here.

Difference being that someone living on family money wouldn't be costing the tax payers more than many people earn working full-time. Noone should receive that amount in benefits.

Mischance · 25/07/2026 16:35

The sad thing about these sort of posts is that they encourage judgement on all those who, through no fault of their own, find themselves needing to rely on the benefits system: marrried and man leaves, in a steady relationship and then become victims of DV, disabled or chronically sick etc. All in need of the sort of safety net that a decent society builds and that I support.

And I support that the OP's children have benefits bestowed on their family, because they are the innocent parties in this situation and I would not want them to suffer for the mistakes of their parent.

But - the original AMA is designed to foster resentment among those who behave responsibly, who are struggling financially, who have stopped at one child when they would have loved two .....

The cynic in me suspects this is a plant to ginger up responses from the far right and make the lives of those on benefits even more difficult by whipping up resentment, when the vast majority of claimants are in genuine un-asked for need.

But I have to commend the majority of posts on here as being measured and not rising to the bait, but simply expressing regret for their own hard-pressed situations and difficult things they have had to forego because of their sense of responsibility.

In my experience as someone working on the ground with many claimants, the vast majority are decent honest people who have had a raw deal in life and so I deprecate any attempt to push people in the direction of seeing all claimants in a negative light.

Wynter25 · 25/07/2026 16:35

thisfilmisboring123 · 25/07/2026 14:21

How much difference has the removal of the 2 child cap made to your UC payments?

What were you getting in UC before April?

Ive got 3 kids and get £911

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