I'm a single mum of 7. AMA!

[WorldCupSadness]

Scared 😅

@summerrevival , exactly! She gets 4K a month in universal credit! My younger son and his wife work extremely long days and don’t get that between them. 😡

Yes. We stopped at 2 because we couldn't afford any more. No tax credits then, and no free childcare, and no housing benefit because we were homeowners/had a mortgage. After the childminder was paid, I had 20% of my wage left.

I wouldn't have been much worse off not working, but staying at work kept my job open.

Yes I think most people who work for a living are pissed off. Like you I think 3 would be nice but factoring space and childcare costs it’s not doable.

Yes it’s very unfair. At least your son and his wife can teach their children (if they have any) a work ethic.

Something rotten in the system isn't there? No-one wants single mums on benefits - or their children - to go hungry and live in poverty, but sometimes it feels as if people who work and have never claimed benefits are having the piss taken out of us...

.

Too busy babysitting I expect.

True dat.

Sorry if this has been asked.
What was your initial life plan / goals? Like as a teenager?

Did you always want a big family and to start young?
Would you advise your girls to do things the same / differently?

What does your weekly food shop cost? 😬

Hopefully it keeps her occupied enough not to get pregnant again. But then the first year must have been pretty easy as she managed to have a kid in that time.

So with CMS, work and universal credit you get approx £6000 a month?

I'm a single parent, no CMS and no benefits. I take home £5300 after taxes... I earn over £100,000. Don't qualify for free childcare or anything - to give you an idea of how much you have to earn to clear that amount salaried, it's approx £120,0000

I hear you . I couldn’t justify having 3 . We would probably be fine at the moment but just thinking of the future if all of them wanted to go to college it would be very tight or if one of us lost our jobs it would be so much harder . I’ve a big gap between my 2 and now I’ve to pay a fortune in childcare again for my youngest . I dunno how people just coast along like this . I mean I don’t mind people getting benefits in general there are vulnerable people out there who end up in unplanned situations where they need them and that’s fine by me . but to just actively plan to have more kids when you already have 6? Madness

And no way would it have been full time. So I reckon that this degree has been on going for at least 5 years meaning at least 2 popped out during this time.

This can’t be recently at a UK state school surely? I just can’t believe that’s on the local council school admission criteria.

Of course not. ! Child benefit alone would be be hundreds a week not to mention the UC !

So you have strict routines and structures at home? What has helped you the most in terms of organization and looking after the children? Lessons you have learned about routines along the way? If you have an insta i would love a follow

Spot on

Agree, I’m afraid. Threads like this just fuel the divide. My DH is a higher tax payer and had been for decades, but we felt that we could only have two because we needed to be responsible for them and be able to pay our and their way. I know so many younger people who have no idea how they will maintain jobs and afford the childcare costs of just one child given the lack of funding, places and extortionate costs. Just feel sad and more than a little resentful.

off topic but I know a woman who has 2 disabled (severely life-prohibiting ASD, non-verbal still in nappies aged 6+ sort of thing) and another child. Currently she's doing a counselling qualification and believes that she'll be able to open a low-cost counselling service for DV victims.

I really truly hope she and OP succeed. In terms of aforementioned woman I doubt it. She came into my head reading this, I am wondering how many people in general retrain and never gain any fruition from it?

Another question for the OP though, do you ever get to truly relax and unwind?

Absolutely!

Do you have any family support?

What does your own family think about your situation?

How do you manage mealtimes and bedtimes?

Whoever thinks having 7 yes 7 DC with 4 different men who they barely see if at all, never taking them abroad, not having time or energy to give them what they all need while claming is a good life, absolutely not! I wouldn't want that for all the money in the world!

I want OP's kids to be happy too.
I want all kids to be happy, so sad when it's not the case 😭 not speaking about OP's kids but just in general. Oh how I wish that we a country could focus money, energy and power on raising a generation of happy kids but in reality, it's so hard to break cycles of trauma.