I was in prison in my early twenties, AMA

[Lexibletheflexible]

I was in prison about 18 years ago, between the ages of 19-22. I now volunteer with charities supporting female prisoners. AMA

@Lexibletheflexible

thats interesting. What kind of food would you buy with your earnings at that age?

We could go out for lunch at school and I'd like to get Chinese or something and since I was with friends, I couldn't get that while they had chicken and chips or school dinners. I'd spend about £15 a day easily on lunch, fags, drinks etc for me and my 2 friends. But also more generally, I'd buy trainers and clothes but I'd save quite a bit of money, too. Probably spend half, save half.

I thought you worked for a charity working with women in prison - CBA to read the thread again, did I imagine this?

Yeah I volunteer for them. Mostly involves keeping prisoners company in various ways and doing small administrative errands for them when they don't have others to do it. Acting as a Mckenzie type friend in some instances. Fundraising. Things like that.

I wouldn't want a full time job in that role.

But yes cleaning offers me flexibility to do that alongside earning an income and family life.

I have just read you saying
on another thread @Lexibletheflexible thst if people still interested - they can return to the thread and ask questions …

What degree did you do ?
Did your boyfriend at the time stick by you?
how do you afford private school fees?

How soon after leaving prison did you have your first child?

What degree did you do ?

I didn't do a degree. In prison, I did get Level 3 and was studying Level 4 in some sort of social science BTEC i think it was. I have good GCSEs though.

Did your boyfriend at the time stick by you?

Yeah. But we did split up midway. We are still friends now.

"how do you afford private school fees?"

Through the business that me and my husband started building as soon as we got together.

11 months. Nearly to the day.

Do you enjoy being a cleaner? Is that why you do it, more as a hobby? Because to have 4 children at private school - the business you have with your husband must be quite incredibly successful to afford 4 kids at private. I have 2 and we can only afford it because my ex earns £200k and never remarried / had other kids

With the same boyfriend you were with when you went to prison?

Only my oldest is at private school. The others are at a state primary but will also go to a private secondary.

I do enjoy cleaning though. The flexibility more than anything else. We can offer cleaning services as part of our wider business.

Hi OP, thanks for the thread. I rate your honesty. I used to work in a female medium secure hospital, so more healthcare role. I have a lot of empathy for female inmates as often they are there due to DV or inequality/disadvantage. I only worked there for a year. Tough, rewarding work. I can see why you are a feminist.

Can I ask - has this had an effect on your DBS? Do you have to declare your offence to your cleaning customers, or no? Can you tell me a bit more about the kind of volunteering you do and how you help other ex offenders?

No, I already knew my husband before prison. About midway through my sentence, he wrote to me and we kept in touch. He visited a couple of times and then when I came out, we started things properly. Then I got pregnant so we moved in together.

I haven't really had to use a DBS for work. It will of course be on there. I got jobs that didn't ask for one or where I knew ny employer and that they didn't care.

No, I don't have to declare my offence. If you see adverts for cleaners, some people do ask for a DBS, I just wouldn't apply for that job. Luckily I don't need to as I have a waiting list of reliable clients. I have told some of them about being in prison. Maybe even most of them. Some of my clients I rarely see in person though and I don't chat to them over text.

The voluntary work I do involves some activism, basically highlighting the plight of prisoners to the public and those with power for change. I also "buddy" some prisoners who are new to the system and/or have little outside support. This could be writing to them, visiting them, attending court dates with them, trying to get them help and advice for situations outside prison like contact with their kids, and helping them prepare for release when that time comes.

Within 8 weeks of leaving prison you dated him for the first time, became pregnant and moved in with him? Wow that is fast!! Still with him?

Is is a family secret or are your parents etc quite open about it?

When you say you haven’t really had to use a DBS for walk - what do you mean? Have you or haven’t you?

my point is - to afford 4 kids at private secondary - that is very very wealthy. So you presumably do clean as a hobby?

Yeah I never thought of it quite like that because we knew each other before I went in. But yes, essentially, that's how it happened.

And yes we are still together and it isnt a secret at all. Family don't hide it but neither do they introduce me as their relat8ve who once was in prison

Well it supplements are income. We don't donate all my earnings to charity. The business does well though and my husband is handy with investments so we are comfortable. We do work hard. We do save. We don't spend money on things we don't need. We haven't had to fork out for childcare at all. We don't live in the most expensive area. We encourage our kids to be making their own fun money by their teens, too. So I buy my 18 year old presents of course but none of his day to day money comes from the family budget at this stage. He works for that plus helps out with childcare when he can so we can work more if needed. Or just rest.

I haven't. I have not contacted a potential client because they wanted their cleaner to have one so that's what I meant by I haven't "really" had to use one. It has limited my clients a tiny bit.

4 teens at private secondary - you’ll need at least £100k a year after tax. Yes the business you run with your husband must “do well”!

I am very surprised not required in your charity volunteer role

I dont have 4 teens currently in private school. At the moment, we don't have any and won't for another 3 years. One has just left 6th form. The others are in primary atm.