I was in prison in my early twenties, AMA

[Lexibletheflexible]

I was in prison about 18 years ago, between the ages of 19-22. I now volunteer with charities supporting female prisoners. AMA

It just seems obvious that finding evidence to prosecute a small time effectively drugs mule is a million times easier than guessing she’ll have a gun at her house and raiding it to get her that way instead.

OP describes being a street dealer- the police aren’t massively interested in them, you can arrest them and they’ll be replaced with another young girl within hours. They target be distributors to disrupt the supply of drugs.

I do find it strange that certain posters seen determined to try to belittle OP and criticise what she said.

To be fair, she has offered to answer questions on a subject lots of us find interesting - she didn't have to do that - what has she done wrong?

Of course her posts may not be 100% true - this is true of absolutely every poster who posts here - but you don't +presumably) leap onto every thread and try to pick holes in what the OP is saying ....

OP, I found your thread interesting and I appreciate the time you took to do it.

If you read the thread you can see the OP thinks she should not have been sent to jail for what she was prosecuted for.

I have read the thread. That’s not my impression at all.

It’s not mine either. OP appears completely accepting of her situation and has explained it neutrally.

I think posters want apology and visable contrition. That’s not a reasonable expectation from a stranger over whom you have no relationship or power. OP has served her sentence and turned everything round. She doesn’t need to apologise for her past.

I don't think she needs to apologise and show contrition to a bunch of strangers on the internet, either. But I do find it interesting that she speaks so neutrally of her experiences, that her reflections haven't led her to wonder about the people she may have hurt, or why she was so let down by her family that they were happy for her to be selling weed aged 13 rather than getting a paper round. I think the calm neutrality of OP's answers belies what most of us sense was probably a more tumultuous and potentially traumatic experience. Letting (or even encouraging?) your young teen daughter engage in criminal activities and teaching her that it's demeaning to work your way up, gain skills, and contribute to society is not a great foundation for starting life. Honestly, having been in prison aged 19, I think OP has done well to put her life together, but I also suspect that she may have a tough road ahead of her if and when she chooses to face up to the lack of care and protection she had as a young person.

That's not a criticism or a demand. Just an observation. I think pp have also picked up on the fact that something seems to be missing here.

but she may well have already faced up to all that and moved on, which is exactly why it’s a neutral, factual retelling of the situation.

Also I can’t see anywhere that her parents knew or encouraged her to sell drugs? Have I missed it?

She said her parents would have been disappointed in her if she'd got a job and that they expected her to 'hustle'. But maybe they didn't know specifically about the drugs, I don't know. And yes, maybe she's processed all that, but then if so I'm surprised she has shut down all the questions with very brief, neutral answers. It's not clear exactly what she's wanted to talk about here. She's answered questions in a very minimal way. So of course that means people are going to fill in the blanks themselves, according to their own ideas and experiences. Which is kind of... not really what you'd hope for with an AMA!

I don’t relate to this at all, I think it’s a brilliant AMA

You make some good points but I don’t recognise any of those in PP’s judgements and accusations.

An AMA is, by definition, driven by the questions received. The things you’ve mentioned haven’t really been asked, though some of them have been thrown at OP.

She’s shared a difficult and painful experience so the neutral tone doesn’t really surprise me, nor the fact that she’s accepting of what happened rather than speaking from a place of pain. OP’s tone reads to me like someone who has detached from a painful experience to be able to talk about it and tolerate the inevitable shaming and judgements that come from that. Not uncommon for people who have been to prison. Also we have zero visual cues.

I think it’s a leap to think she hadn’t reflected on childhood experiences just because she doesn’t talk in a way that you imagine she would, or that you would, if she works for a decent organisation she will have had access to training, therapeutic supervision and frequent discussions with women in and beyond the system, all of which will involve discussion of childhood and trauma at some point. If it’s resolved for her, neutral is normal.

Still don’t get why someone in prison comes on here, supposedly proud of what she’s done.

Still, who am I to judge.

Me as an immature 20s clubber used coke and pills. Re coke we knew sort of about the trade but ignored it. In our 30s most of us (well me anyway) didn’t use any recreational drugs as we knew how it affected women etc. This is partly because I judge OP as she seems to have no remorse over this.

I know at least 3 people who went to rehab for mostly coke issues. Almost ruined their lives. Yet OP doesn’t care about that.

Lots of emphasis on OP’s personal responsibility here and none on those who choose to use recreational drugs, and then sometimes can’t stop. Do you judge your friends for taking drugs/needing help to stop? Nobody is forcing affluent 20 somethings to stump up a pile of cash for cocaine on a Saturday night.

No concern over the groomed and exploited children/ young adults dealing their party drugs either.

funny how people can be concerned about exploitation in South America from the drug trade but when the same exploited people are local to them, it’s all their own fault.

I don’t judge my friends no. But they had no idea how easy it was to get addicted. One was the son of a world famous architect who went to the Priory for treatment. The others not so affluent. OP was the one dealing the drugs back then. The issue I have is there’s no contrition from her now or the fact she did wrong. Just that she came from a criminal family, did this, didn’t get caught for other things and served time.

“The issue I have is there’s no contrition from her now or the fact she did wrong”

isnt expecting that your issue though? OP doesn’t owe you anything. She served her time

She may not owe me anything as she’s served her time but I don’t see any point in putting up an AMA where she’s basically bragging she broke the law, got caught and served her time.

I think that’s very much the lense you've chosen to view that through. A factual tone and lack of contrition doesn’t mean she’s “basically bragging”

she’s basically bragging she broke the law, got caught and served her time.

What do you think "bragging" means?

I get what you're saying, but for me a brilliant AMA is one where you are invited to empathise with the OP, where there's an emotional connection, and where the OP shows insight into the dynamics of her situation. Giving plain facts is fine, but it doesn't naturally invite connection and understanding. As you can see with this OP, there's a whole side of the story that pp are interested in that goes beyond what meals they got in prison and what the staff were like. There's the question of, what was it like for you, to be you in this situation? How do you understand the dynamics that led you to end up in prison, and what did you learn from it? People have tried asking that question in many different ways but OP is not wanting to discuss any of that. Which is fine, of course, it's her AMA. But you can't blame people for wanting to understand her better.

It’s interesting you say they want to understand more.

I think it’s coming across as not wanting to understand, but wanting to judge, wanting OP to feel ashamed, contrite and suitably chastised for her behaviour.

and that’s unique to some posters who don’t want to understand other people, they just want other people to be like them.

Yeah I can see that, but I also see frustration and boredom. But yeah, maybe you're right.

Absolutely don’t blame people for wanting to understand more, I just haven’t seen people genuinely asking those kinds of questions. There’s lots of assumptions, suggestions that she’s lying and then sometimes sniping about how she’s not remorseful. Not much desire to empathise or engage really, just a chance to put the boot in.

You and all your friends also broke the law by possessing drugs. If there were no buyers, there would be no sellers. And what about the healthcare costs of getting your friends out of addiction? Are you all contrite? You don’t sound it, just bragging about how you took drugs, got away with it and now you’re judging a woman who you could as easily have bought from back then.

Bit hypocritical really.