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AMA

Trad wife here, happy to answer questions about my lifestyle

166 replies

LookAtThatMartin · 20/05/2026 14:51

I am a Trad wife - ask me anything.

OP posts:
BeanQuisine · 20/05/2026 16:25

Do you do your laundry with this sort of gear?

Trad wife here, happy to answer questions about my lifestyle
Dimpledaisies · 20/05/2026 16:26

BeanQuisine · 20/05/2026 16:25

Do you do your laundry with this sort of gear?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

fellowfons · 20/05/2026 16:26

LookAtThatMartin · 20/05/2026 15:14

You’re quite right.

I’m disappointed at the comments and wont waste my time.

Are you allowed to be this opinionated with your trad husband?

BurnoutBee · 20/05/2026 16:29

Well that was short lived perhaps she will be back after cooking husband dinner and giving him a blow job for dessert.

HopUpTheGardenPath · 20/05/2026 16:29

Dunno why you think anyone would be interested in THAT lifestyle choice, sorry.

youreshakingthecaravanjeffery · 20/05/2026 16:30

Genuine question OP, what sort of questions were you hoping for?

Hellohelga · 20/05/2026 16:31

Teainapinkcup · 20/05/2026 16:12

they see it as a whole role, the men come home to food and everything is taken care of by the wife, the man works outside the home they wife does everything else pretty much home making wise and child care. Must be exhausting.

But that does sound similar to sahm. I worked PT with children so I did pretty much all domestic stuff and most childcare. However he was a hands on dad evenings and weekends. Do you mean DH doesn’t bother to father DC when not working?

Tigerbalmshark · 20/05/2026 16:33

Hellohelga · 20/05/2026 16:09

What’s the difference between trad wife and sahm? Genuine question.

Usually, a trad wife isn’t allowed to make any decisions. Her husband is in charge of every aspect of her life. That isn’t usually the case with a SAHM.

Maybe5 · 20/05/2026 16:34

Hellohelga · 20/05/2026 16:31

But that does sound similar to sahm. I worked PT with children so I did pretty much all domestic stuff and most childcare. However he was a hands on dad evenings and weekends. Do you mean DH doesn’t bother to father DC when not working?

Trad wife- the husband is the head of the household. The wife submits to his will. This usually comes with trad gender roles as well in terms of work inside and outside the home.

SAHP- one parent is at home looking after the kids and usually doing the lion's share of the housework, the other is likely to have a job. Both parents are equals, take decisions together and contribute to the household through their efforts.

Hellohelga · 20/05/2026 16:35

Tigerbalmshark · 20/05/2026 16:33

Usually, a trad wife isn’t allowed to make any decisions. Her husband is in charge of every aspect of her life. That isn’t usually the case with a SAHM.

Ah I see, I wouldn’t fancy that.

Tigerbalmshark · 20/05/2026 16:36

Hellohelga · 20/05/2026 16:31

But that does sound similar to sahm. I worked PT with children so I did pretty much all domestic stuff and most childcare. However he was a hands on dad evenings and weekends. Do you mean DH doesn’t bother to father DC when not working?

Exactly. He is The Man, who works. She looks after the children (and probably homeschools them), cleans the house, cooks, and greets him on the doorstep in a pretty frock with a G&T when he gets home from work (well actually all the ones I know are Mormons so no alcohol, but you get the idea).

Men are not meant to life a finger at home. The tradwife is meant to anticipate his every possible desire and meet it.

Fadingall · 20/05/2026 16:37

LookAtThatMartin · 20/05/2026 15:14

You’re quite right.

I’m disappointed at the comments and wont waste my time.

Oh my goodness! People were just asking you what being a trad wife means to you. Its the most sensible of questions to ask so that further discussion can take place. Unless there is a shared understanding of what you mean by that, how can any conversation take place?

And you took umbrage at that and stormed off?!

Remarkable.

giemepeace · 20/05/2026 16:38

So funny! I’d love you to come back op and explain what was so objectionable about being asked what you meant by trad wife? Go on, go on. Be brave, it’s anonymous!

Linenspots · 20/05/2026 16:41

Upstartled · 20/05/2026 15:25

Come back, op. I have questions. How long does it take to milk a cow and bake bread before the children rise?

Where the blithering heck is the laughing emoji when it's most needed. Brilliant!

BatchCookBabe · 20/05/2026 16:42

Zapx · 20/05/2026 15:14

Do you work?

I would also like to ask this. Do you work @LookAtThatMartin ?

And if not, are you not worried about 100% relying on your husband financially?

Why did you flounce so early on? Gotta give the thread chance gurrl!

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 16:43

Oh, dear. Why do women open themselves up for ridicule like this?

viques · 20/05/2026 16:43

giemepeace · 20/05/2026 16:38

So funny! I’d love you to come back op and explain what was so objectionable about being asked what you meant by trad wife? Go on, go on. Be brave, it’s anonymous!

I am hoping that being asked the question has made the OP stop and think about what she really wants out of life, what her role is in the relationship and whether or not it is really something she wants to do for the next 50 or so years.

BatchCookBabe · 20/05/2026 16:43

BeanQuisine · 20/05/2026 16:25

Do you do your laundry with this sort of gear?

Oi, stop using my photos! You didn't even ask me! Hmm

Grin
Fadingall · 20/05/2026 16:44

Tigerbalmshark · 20/05/2026 16:33

Usually, a trad wife isn’t allowed to make any decisions. Her husband is in charge of every aspect of her life. That isn’t usually the case with a SAHM.

But the trad wife influencers are essentially running their own SM business.

So take it with a pinch of salt.

Anyway, I am not sure it is like that. I think you are describing an abusive relationship, I am not a Christian, but the Christian marriages I know which are traditional, its not like this. The man may 'lead' but there is a notion of mutual service and respect and gratitude. And the women certainly make their own decisions and some work. The man could I guess ultimately make a final decision over his wife in an area of disagreement but I don't know of that actually happening. The men do ask their wives advice and opinions when they are facing difficult decisions in their own lives. Obviously I am talking about thoughtful, reflective and self aware people in these marriages. It would be quite easy for a traditional set up to become abusive. That's my issue with things like this. They can work really well when both people are decent and have the same values, but the woman is really, really reliant on the husband being a decent person.

NoctuaAthene · 20/05/2026 16:47

Hellohelga · 20/05/2026 16:09

What’s the difference between trad wife and sahm? Genuine question.

Since the OP has fled I guess we can all chip in! The trad wife movement is essentially about embracing 'traditional' gender roles within relationships and the domestic sphere (where the 'trad' part comes in, although you can very legitimately question what tradition they actually think they are following, which era / culture they're harking back to and did that actually exist in reality or whether they're cherry picking selected elements of a perhaps fictional golden age).

As I understand it there's quite large variation in how people choose to apply the 'trad wife lifestyle', at its most benign end it can be taken to mean women who enjoy traditionally female crafts and interests like baking and sewing and/or who prioritise their home and children over their career (and men support them to do so), to at the terrifying/extreme end you get extremist religious cults where women's freedoms are totally curtailed and every aspect of their lives, money, sex, where they go and who they see, how many children they have with whom, are totally controlled by men.

At the heart of the movement/belief system though is that the man is the the leader of the household and should control and be responsible for earning the money/the economic health of the household and the women control and are responsible for the emotional and domestic side i.e. taking care of the house, cooking and childcare, and the woman 'submits' to the man's leadership and guidance particularly on matters outside the home and family environment. It's the submission part and the fact it's a strict division encompassing the couple's whole lives that distinguishes it from the more 'modern' SAHM who while she might be temporarily (or more unusually even permanently) not earning a salary doesn't usually believe that means she has no say in the economics of her household, or because her DH is working 9-5 he should have no say and do nothing towards the household or raising the children.

There's then a debate about how the Trad Wife movement sits on issues that don't neatly fall into either the inside/outside the home division of labour, such as does the man get to tell the woman what she should think/believe about politics/religion (or does she get to have any opinion at all), does the man earning the money means he gets absolute control over how the money is spent (or does the fact the woman is responsible for the home means in fact she's actually more responsible for the day to day spending at least), does the man's 'leadership' and woman's 'submission' extend to sexual matters and consent in a potentially problematic way etc etc. Funnily enough more often it winds up that the man gets to decide more of this than the woman even though on the tin at least the man's role and the woman's are meant to be equal but different... Obviously the rise in this type of thinking can be linked to a lot of alt-right type ideologies...

Safarisagoody · 20/05/2026 16:49

This is one of those light the blue touch paper threads and run away sniggering.

viques · 20/05/2026 16:50

My other question is why do so many of these trad wife husbands seem to have a fetish about women’s hair? You see it time and time again in those religions where “woman’s hair on view” is a dirty concept , women and girls with long hair, but always covered with a scarf or little hood or a wig, and the trad wives seem to be “encouraged” to have the same look. Once you notice it you can’t help but think it’s all a bit creepy.

emuloc · 20/05/2026 16:52

Teainapinkcup · 20/05/2026 16:12

they see it as a whole role, the men come home to food and everything is taken care of by the wife, the man works outside the home they wife does everything else pretty much home making wise and child care. Must be exhausting.

It must be even more exhausting for the Women who work, as well as do all that.

CollectingAllTheACEs · 20/05/2026 16:53

Must be very hard to do all that housework, cooking, cleaning, etc. with limited mobility...