AMA: Former model in late 30s often called beautiful by others

[ImImmortalNowBabyDoll]

I'm a former model and now in my late 30s but still regularly described by strangers and friends alike as "beautiful." I've noticed that people who haven't happened to fall neatly into Western beauty standards are often curious about people who do, so AMA.

And if you just want to come and tell me that I'm conceited and probably not as beautiful as I think I am, that's OK too- we all need a hobby.

I guess I would have known no different so got on with it.

I was actually quite an ugly teen, all braces and freckles and due to health problems I was very delayed in my growth and puberty. I was "the clever one", bullied through school for frizzy hair and buck teeth.

Then I left school for university at 17 and sort of blossomed. It was very noticeable that one day I was this flat-chested skinny little thing who'd never have a boyfriend and then suddenly I had double D-cups and I just sort of grew into myself (and my teeth!) and started getting loads of attention from everyone. The first time I remember being told I was beautiful was in the summer holidays before Uni when I was cleaning the floor in McDonalds and a boy came over and asked me on a date. I turned scarlet and ran away, I still feel guilty as it must have taken a lot of courage for him to come over but I'd never had that kind of attention before.

Would they claim you’re a real model too? Nah thought not!

The point I’m making is that a proper model is someone who models for brands and shoots ad campaigns, commercials and walks fashion shows. They don’t get naked for amateur photographers off the internet. So yes too many people are calling themselves models nowadays.

Yes, very clearly, and as I started getting a lot of my work through model/photographer networking sites there were strict rules against "level pushing"- asking for something not on a model's list got you an instant ban- I reported one photographer for this and he was removed straight away. There's also a banner that comes up before you message a model saying, "This model works up to art-nude, requesting higher levels will result in an instant ban." It's quite rare to be just you and a photographer, often there's a chaperone, or it's in the photographer's house and his wife is there, or you're in a public place or a studio. I never really felt unsafe.

Well I have done adverts so...

Good. I've heard some awful stories, so I'm glad you were safe.

Most brands won’t touch someone with a barge pole who have posed naked for amateur photographers. Agencies advise their models not to go down this line of work for that reason. So if you have done adverts you’re very lucky!

It's mostly just common sense as you'd use if you were any woman arranging to do any private service for someone you don't know well, like cleaning a house, babysitting etc.. Most photographers are really supportive of this. For example, picking me up at home and stopping for a cup of tea with my husband whilst we discuss the shoot plan, discussing in pre-comms (written) where we were going, giving me time to photograph the number plate of the car and send it to my husband, having location tracking on my phone, calling to let my husband (could be any safe person but for me it was my husband) that I'd arrived at the location. They'll often ask to check that you've done those things to ensure your safety. And they will all rally round to support a model very quickly on the rare occasion something does happen.

How would the agency models even reach me from their high, high horses? They'd need a very long barge pole from all the way up there. I'm only 5'3".

@ImImmortalNowBabyDoll your marriage sounds a proper love story. Im also glad you have good friends. Im ND myself so struggled with friendships. Im pleased you have good friends. It can’t always be easy being gorgeous!

Haha you really do seem to have an issue with agency models don’t you. Maybe you don’t like the fact that they got further than you in their careers?

The minute you mentioned 'glamour model' it was down hill all the way!

You were very honest early on in the thread about the nature of your modelling so fair dues.

May I ask where do these hobbyist photographers publish their work?

Also, how did you check out their bona fides before agreeing to work with them?

It really is coming across like you think there is some sort of hierarchy of models. Even unpaid posing for art students (for example) is modelling. Insta models are also models! i’ve never heard your perspective before but it sounds a bit insane tbh.

No thanks, I never wanted to be a "proper model" it was something I was asked to do and was really fun whilst it lasted. I already had a successful career and now I focus on that full time. I'm sure some agency models are lovely, but some need to come back down to earth and realise that just like me, they are just a pretty girl getting paid to have photos taken and smile (or pout) for the camera.

So now we’ve had the “rich housewife” who wasn’t actually rich; the “highly intelligent” poster who seemed quite average; and now the “model” who isn’t a model. I’ve done life drawing myself, nude art models are just normal people.

It’s all rather disappointing.

So yes too many people are calling themselves models nowadays.

Well thank God for you defending the integrity of all the real models out there! I’m sure Alek Wek and Natalia Vodianova thank you for your service @Flyingintotheunknown

As far as I’m aware one site has a ‘referencing system’ where models are allowed to leave references on the photographers profiles. This is not a sure fire way of knowing they aren’t predators though as there has been cases of photographers with 100% amazing references who have gone on to sexually assault a model. We all know that most predators and abusers come across as charming to the majority of people and will target maybe only the ones they perceive to be weak.

Most of them ‘publish’ their work on their social media. Or sell them on some seedy pay site. Sometimes they get ‘published’ in an amateur magazine that nobody has every heard of and the only people who buy them are the model/ photographers who’s pictures have been ‘published’ in them. The pictures are not used in advertising campaigns or any other form or promotional material

I have an AMA about being retired, and I really am retired... I don't disappoint!

I’m sure they would also be of the same opinion that someone taking their clothes off for amateur photographers is also not modelling… and im sure they really give a shit that you are speaking so much on their behalf lol

Not really. Just I wouldn’t class signing up to some site (that literally anyone and their grandma is allowed to sign up to), stick a few pictures on there, meet up with amateur photographers and call yourself a model. It really isn’t that easy to be a model unfortunately. That’s my point. If it was that easy then everyone would be ‘models’.

The hobbyist photographers might sell one or two at an exhibition or through their own websites. You get a feel for which ones you can trust through the pre-comms and also if you have doubts you can message another model and ask. A lot of shoots involve two models or two photographers, many also a studio owner. You know they are "bonafide" through the quality of their work. If it all looked like readers wives stuff then I steered well clear!

The point of the thread was more about being pretty enough to get paid for it of which the actual modelling formed a very small part.

As mentioned up thread, I was "the clever one" at school. Modelling never occurred to me as a serious long term career choice until people started saying, "You're beautiful, I want to take your photo," and then wanting to do nude was my idea really and something I wanted to try.

Ok well pointless posting you’re a former model on MN then if you now realise you weren’t actually a ‘proper model’

Goodness me @Flyingintotheunknown, who pissed in your chips?

That’s what I like - it does what it says on the tin.

I was a model, I just don't meet YOUR criteria for being a model. Most people think a model is someone who gets paid to post for paintings or photography or even just to be an at event to look nice.

Okay if you say so…