AMA: Former model in late 30s often called beautiful by others

[ImImmortalNowBabyDoll]

I'm a former model and now in my late 30s but still regularly described by strangers and friends alike as "beautiful." I've noticed that people who haven't happened to fall neatly into Western beauty standards are often curious about people who do, so AMA.

And if you just want to come and tell me that I'm conceited and probably not as beautiful as I think I am, that's OK too- we all need a hobby.

I actually did some nude life art modelling at 18. I remember it being cold and it was always in a studio. Your career does sound exciting! So I take back what I said x

I don’t see that at all in her responses 🤷🏼‍♀️

the people queuing up to disparage her on the other hand…

Not really, and no, definitely not. It takes years to start making real money from it and the industry has changed a lot in the last 15 years. It's a lot about having lots of followers on instagram now because the photographers want their pictures to be seen. I never wanted to be famous on insta or anywhere else.

Haha not offended at all. Just more baffled how the op is offended that I asked about her safety

Interesting thread, thanks @ImImmortalNowBabyDoll .
What does it feel like to feel beautiful? Do you consider yourself lucky, or is it horrible having men come on to you all the time? Have you ever wished you weren’t good looking?

That's quite hurtful, I've answered every question I've been asked. I've bristled a bit at the "proper model" questions which were clearly intended to needle me and prove that my career wasn't valid. As I've mentioned, the freelance modelling world is full of talented, interesting and lovely people and we all know about the "agency models" who consider themselves a cut above. Even when they barely ever get booked.

You realise you’re coming across as the unpleasant one?

Barely booked? I was booked every week. Maybe not every day but earning more than an art nude model. You seem to be offended that I have raised concerns about safety

I think the salient point though is that she was getting paid. And paid well enough to support a good standard of living.

And that’s really all it comes down to in the end, isn’t it?

I can see that the two of you are butting heads on this and I don’t think either of you are coming across great tbh, but I do think your synopsis is taking it a bit far, because there was a decent amount of money changing hands.

I’ve known models signed to agencies who jump through all these hoops you speak of and didn’t get any work, or barely any work.

This girl went freelance, had a good time and made a decent amount of money.

I don’t see the point in bickering over that.

My auntie was quite a famous model in the 70s, worked up until early 80s I think and was in several commercials (don’t ask me what for!). However, she was scouted at 14, left school then and therefore got no qualifications. She does paid artistic work (non modelling) now and lives in Paris. She also suffered from Bells Palsy recently. There’s no way she was arrogant or stuck up as far as I recall, always been the loveliest person. She still has a few famous friends from that time. As to whether she regrets her career choices I think sometimes yes. She speaks fluent French now.

Hmm, this is a tricky one. I have got sick of being come onto, and being "relationship-zoned" by men and sometimes maligned by some women (most women are not jealous like that and I have great girlfriends). Being realistic though, I think life has been easier for me. I used to get a lot of stuff for free and also people have been more willing to believe me or help me when I've been in a tight spot. I've had more luck at interviews I think. People make assumptions that I'm a nice and competent person without me having to prove it. It would be naive of me to say that I haven't benefitted a lot from "pretty privilege."

Well I got work and all models I know who are signed to agencies also get regular work so I’m not sure where this theory has come from that agency models get no work. At least when we do get work we are safe!

also, she may have earned her good money but I know of many ‘models’ in that community who got raped because they were meeting up with people who called themselves a photographer. When in reality they were just seedy blokes. Not sure if it’s really worth it. Op is hardly the model she is claiming she was in her first post

I agree with you, my auntie’s friends who were models got lots of work, I also knew a male model who still models part time but in his younger days was never out of work. Same with a friend of my brother’s who’s a model, he used her a lot for shoots as she was easy to work with and their client liked her.

She was annoyed at your sneering attempts to belittle her, but you know that.

Like I said, pointless coming on here claiming you’re a some big super model if youre not. Also trying to tell the world you’re a model because you are soooo beautiful is rather big headed. Considering most of these ‘art nude’ models aren’t able to make it in the mainstream industry. A model is generally a person who shoots advertising content for a business or a brand to advertise a particular product or doing fashion shows, ad campaigns and TV commercials. Too many people are calling themselves ‘models’ nowadays.

Exactly. Agencies only sign people if they are confident they can get them work. It’s rare anyone is just sat on their books not even getting a casting. Unless it’s a scam agency who asked for money.
Most agencies will work their arse off to try and get their models work because they only get paid when the model gets paid

Did you have the option to marry someone wealthy or did you marry wealthy? I see you have a successful career in your own right which is fabulous.
Have you got kids and are they gorgeous like you?
Do you have good women pals?

And there we have it- and as I said in my OP, if it made you feel better to prove to yourself that I'm not as beautiful as I think I am, that's absolutely fine and I hope it has brightened your day. ❤ It may be helpful for you to know that being beautiful is not some sort of success story. I got born with good genes that happen to fall into some very narrow standards that make a woman considered beautiful in the time and place I was born in, it would have been a different story I'm sure if I'd been born anywhere else in any other era. But as demonstrated by this thread, people are curious about how that feels. So after a conversation with my daughter (who is 6 and just becoming aware that she's extremely pretty) about it, I was inspired to do an AMA, knowing that as soon as you describe yourself as beautiful or clever, someone will be along soon to tear you down.

I did, yes, but I didn't actually like dating rich men. I got flown out to Miami once for a date, stayed in some amazing hotels, ate in some nice restaurants, but what's the point when they are working 60 hours a week and on their phones sealing some deal through the main course? I married a teacher, we got engaged 12 weeks after meeting, and 10 years on we're still head-over-heels for each other.

My daughter is 6 and absolutely stunning, blonde and blue eyed so very different colouring to me.

I do, I have a few ride-or-die besties and we have been there for each other through thick and thin. I struggle a bit with new friendships because I'm autistic.

I'm very intrigued what you look like OP, I've never met a model in real-life! Did you ever have days where you felt self-concious? What did your parents/family think about your job? When I was younger it was always on my bucket list to pose nude just once for art. I'm mid 30s now and had three kids, I still have a BMI of 19 but my boons are tummy are no longer firm so that ship has sailed 😂.

Do you think you could have coped as an objectively 'ugly' girl and woman? Like the kind of person who might have been teased about their looks and is beyond a glow up? This is how I identify :-) but as I get older I kind of feel grateful that I'm not stressed about my physical beauty falling off a cliff :-)

Mine neither nowadays after pregnancy and 3 years of breastfeeding! My parents were very against it so I just didn't talk to them about it. But then when I did a "safe for work" shoot and shared it on social media they loved it and showing all their friends. My Mum used to worry a lot that being beautiful was attracting "the wrong sort" but simultaneously very disappointed when I broke up with the rich ones looking for trophy wives, who I thought were definitely the wrong sort! I had lots of hang ups in my 20s and being told by many photographers every day how beautiful I was and how much they liked photographing me helped with my self-esteem.

OP didn’t claim to be a supermodel. She’s been very open and honest about the work she’s done.

She also didn’t say she was “soooo beautiful” - she said others have called her such and she fits into Western beauty standards.

Too many people are calling themselves ‘models’ nowadays.

It’s giving “only the model in the village”. Do you really think the likes of Gisele Bundchen or Yasmine Ghauri would consider you a real model? Give yourself peace @Flyingintotheunknown

When you were being photographed naked by the hobbyists, how did you ensure it stayed within certain boundaries? Was it always discussed beforehand what you were prepared to do?

The most common ones I get compared to are Winona Ryder, Julie Andrews (in her Mary Poppins era),

This wins MN quote of the week.