I've been a prostitute on and off since I was a young adult. AMA.

[IAMAthroway]

Just that, really. I am drunk and bored, and I've noticed in the past on MN, many sweeping statements made about sex workers that I don't always agree with (i.e we are all brainwashed into thinking we are happy with our career choice, but really we are miserable)

For background, I started when I was 19, maybe late 18. I got into it because I was lapdancing and noticed those who offered "extras" after hours made 3x what I did. I was young and stupid, and sex just felt like sex to me, so it was quick, easy money. I left when I was 23/24 and met DH.

I got back into it when I was in my early 30s and left DH with nothing to my name, but left again when DH and I agreed to a suitable child maintenance arrangement, and I could afford to live.

I went back into it 2/3 months ago when possible redundancies were announced at my work, and I realised benefits covered only around 2/3 of my basic outgoings. I am in my early 40s with two adult children who still rely on me. DS is in uni, and DD has just started an NMW job; both still live with me.

Also awful for young men, it won't go away but I believe should not be normalised.You body should be loved and not sold, your private intimate body.

Hi op - thanks for this thread. if it works for you, then earn £ that way.

how do you check clients for STDS that condoms can't protect against like herpes, hpv etc?

do you insist the men have a wash before you service them?

have you ever felt unsafe?

I don't have a problem with prostitution and think it should be legal although it's not something I would consider doing myself. But I can say the same about plenty of other jobs. Plenty of women (and for that matter, men) use their looks and sexuality to get ahead in life, being a prostitute is just doing that in a more direct and some would say, more honest, way.

That’s a strange take. Did you read OP’s history? Why is it usually only women with a history of abuse who become ‘empowered’ to make the ‘autonomous choice’ to go into sex work?

I wouldn’t judge sex workers, but I do pity them.

No one is frothing or judging. Most women on here are judging the men and the situation, not the woman.

Are you asking if a woman, alone in a hotel room, with an unknown man, who's entitled enough to think he can pay for access to a woman's body, ever feels unsafe? What kind of mindless question is that? Women are unsafe walking on the streets alone, minding their own business. It doesn't take much in the way of thinking to imagine how unsafe you'd feel in that scenario.

It wasn't a mindless question. i think you're not reading the nuance to my post and are not noting that i've tailored my question specifically to the OP Bokeitup - the OP has said before that her clients recently have been "sweet".

i dont live in a bubble - of course it's a risk Bokeitup but OP has obviously got a different tolerance for risk.

Women can only get ahead by their looks if there is an audience that judge them only on this. It is linked to patriarchy.

I don’t think people are judging, they are concerned. Concerned that someone like the OP is unable to see that she is still a victim of abuse. She may feel she is in control but the hard truth is that she isn’t.

Bringing in more sex workers to answer these questions won’t give well rounded, unbiased answers, it’s well documented that a very high proportion of female sex workers have been victims of child abuse. They are still caught up in that evil cycle of abuse.

Surely you can see this?

Do you enjoy the sex?
Do you have occasions where you decide you dont want to have sex with the once you meet them? Do you refuse some upfront /perhaps while chatting? or seeing a photo?/

I actually think you’re brave starting a post here. A friend of mine used to work in a brothel answering phones and got to know some prostitutes one of who
she unofficially fostered her daughter for a while. I do think a lot of sex workers have come from abusive backgrounds though.

People have different thresholds for feeling safe or unsave. You dont know how OP feels. Thats why people ask these questions.

She may be working 😉

Why brave? (Genuine question).

It's an anonymous internet forum where the OP is posting anonymously to people who have no clue who she is.

No 'braver' than all the other MNetters who have started threads on this exact same topic.

I am kind of shocked you get so little for it.

Can I ask why you choose to do this when you could easily get other jobs that pay more?

£400 a week is terrible pay for what you have to actually do 🤮

The OP is in her 40s.

As ageist as this sounds, younger women are always going to get more work. 'Fetish' aside, it just seems to be the way it is.

That’s illogical. Paying for access to a women’s body is the opposite of entitlement. It’s transactional. It quite literally values women’s bodies. And a fair transaction is not coercion. You might as well call any work coercion then. I have LOATHED all my retail jobs. And got paid a lot less for the use of my body. And I had no skills and few alternatives. I consented to be there and wasn’t coerced. And I still loathed it.

OP is just making a living the best way she can. She doesn’t have to love it or even like it or be any kind of trope. Getting paid to show off your body is getting paid to show your off body whether that’s throwing javelin or splits over a chair. Getting paid to use your body is the same whether that body is servicing yours by cutting your hair, massaging your feet or bringing you to orgasm.

Interesting, I hadn't thought of that.

I think you come across as a very brave, independent and determined woman. You’ve made your life work for you. You can stop and start whenever you want.
you know how to look after yourself as it seems you’ve had to since you were very young. And to those who say men who use sex workers cannot be sweet. It’s not true. Some of those men are sad or lonely or feel inadequate. A few hours with a woman who acts as if she likes him can give him some hope.

Not lazy just having more important things to do!

Nasty, however....another matter.

*The OP is in her 40s.
As ageist as this sounds, younger women are always going to get more work. 'Fetish' aside, it just seems to be the way it is."

Wayne rooney infamously paid for the services of a 48 years old grandmother.

Plenty of 40 year old women on dating sites get pursued by 20 year olds.

I daresay there are also plenty of much older men willing to engage her services.

I suspect op is quite happy with the the "easy money" from 4 hours work and not looking to maximise her income..

Because of all the backlash you’d get here, and she’s got some already.

Eek I can't believe this post, thoose poor sweet men using sex workers.Poor little lambs, they just need someone to prentend they like them?
Could they not get that from a friend or getting a pet. Could these poor sweet men just buy a sex toy?Does getting some attention and love have to involve using someone's body for sexual gratification, and paying to do so?
God is tjis a joke?

Sorry if this has been asked but what has it done to your view of men? Do you think less of them/ find them gross etc? What do you think of the men you sleep with?