I've been a prostitute on and off since I was a young adult. AMA.

[IAMAthroway]

Just that, really. I am drunk and bored, and I've noticed in the past on MN, many sweeping statements made about sex workers that I don't always agree with (i.e we are all brainwashed into thinking we are happy with our career choice, but really we are miserable)

For background, I started when I was 19, maybe late 18. I got into it because I was lapdancing and noticed those who offered "extras" after hours made 3x what I did. I was young and stupid, and sex just felt like sex to me, so it was quick, easy money. I left when I was 23/24 and met DH.

I got back into it when I was in my early 30s and left DH with nothing to my name, but left again when DH and I agreed to a suitable child maintenance arrangement, and I could afford to live.

I went back into it 2/3 months ago when possible redundancies were announced at my work, and I realised benefits covered only around 2/3 of my basic outgoings. I am in my early 40s with two adult children who still rely on me. DS is in uni, and DD has just started an NMW job; both still live with me.

Do any of the men turn up dirty / smelly? Do you have rules they must adhere to?

Why would you refuse?

It’s just “a job”

She posted when drunk by her own admission though.

Some women possibly see sex workers as a threat to their relationships,

Maybe it's that, then.

Do you regret taking this path. I can see why women do if the money is much better than they could earn in other work.

...yes, until about 5am, so she's probably sleeping it off.

Tax?

two adult children who still rely on me

Can I ask why that is? I know you mentioned one is at Uni and one is in a NMW job but so are many others and they don't have a parent resorting to the sex trade to help them out. You said your DD inherited from your Ex - not enough to set her up then? When do you feel they will be independent?

I think you’ve completely missed my point.

OP said she already has a degree

Maybe what's that?

The bad reaction you get to sex workers is in the same wheelhouse as the bad reaction you get to any sexually non conforming woman. OW on here get pilloried a zillion times more than philandering husbands even though it's the husbands who are cheating, but it's the same in the wider world too. How many sexual slurs can you trust of for a woman? How many for men? I know you aren't going to try to deny that women get judged for sexual activity far more than men do.

It's largely about that. Women who worry about sex workers and their relationships are largely women whose male partners have given them reason for concern. It's never been easier to order sex if you fancy it today, none of us would form relationships at all if it was an overriding general concern.

But you see it all through a lens of female competition and jealousy for the grand prize of men. Because of course you do.

Fuck this, I'm off to a picnic.

We need more sex workers to come and answer these questions.

Shame people imposed their own judgements rather than wait and listen for the responses. I wonder if the OP will be back?

I'm interested in the fact posters appear to suggest it's only women who are sex workers. There are male prostitutes women use & rent boys men use. Regardless of opinions it will never go away. It's definitely not something I would choose to do in either category although I understand why many people feel its a choice they have to make.

Would you be in a relationship with someone who used prostitutes?

How do you manage clients who are dangerous/a threat to you?

Has a client ever found out more about you eg where you live etc? How did you deal with that?

Are the men generally "normal"? Or can you sometimes get a vibe from a stranger that they pay for sex?

She says she has other options and pursuing a career would get her the same place but slower. I take that to mean she prefers working 4 hours per week to 40.

Okay it's sometimes on here someone comes along and trys to normalise sex work, I once saw a really hideous tv show a while back, here in the country I live, where a brothel boss was trying to do just that. Saying being a prostitute was the most natural thing in the world and how wonderful it was.
There was a counter argument but somehow the creepy brothel boss really seemed to believe in himself , having made a fortune out of others work and probably misery.
I really don't believe most women would choose this work if they didn't have to.Even this women who write about herself getting into it said she does it when she needs money.
So sorry if I didn't get your point, sorry if I ranted.
I just think so many things in society are getting chipped away at, I don't think Prostitution should be held up as a good career choice or any sort of job option.
I do not look down on thosse who do it mind you, the women.

I missed that.

I saw she said she was a beautician.

Why is she not using her degree to further a career?

Yeah. When I go to work in doing the things I'm paid for because I desperately need money. I would not be doing those things otherwise.

The problem with selling sex is that once you see it in a transactional way and you have debts you're not consenting in a true sense.

I’m curious. Do you charge by the time or the act? Is there a price list? Do you charge more if they’re repulsive? Is it actually enjoyable?

P.s. no judgements. I’ve got plenty of friends who traded their time and affections for nice lifestyles/gifts, so not technically exchanging cash for services, but the end result is the same.

Lazy, its that simple

Her rates are really low. Many charge as much as £200 hour these days and outcalls cost more so struggling to understand how £100 a time is enough.

Without taking part in the discussion about pros and cons of prostitution, I feel there's underlying trauma from your childhood (abusive dad, then abusive husband) which needs to be dealt with. You would greatly benefit from trauma specialist therapy but I appreciate it is not easy to find the right kind of therapist plus they are very expensive. I wish you well and keep safe, OP.

On the subject of beauticians unless they run their own business and or trained in aesthetics then beauticians are very much minimum wage jobs.

Yes, I think that's a valid point.

She’s only earning £400 a week.

thats the saddest part really. It’s nothing, and she thinks it’s loads