I've been a prostitute on and off since I was a young adult. AMA.

[IAMAthroway]

Just that, really. I am drunk and bored, and I've noticed in the past on MN, many sweeping statements made about sex workers that I don't always agree with (i.e we are all brainwashed into thinking we are happy with our career choice, but really we are miserable)

For background, I started when I was 19, maybe late 18. I got into it because I was lapdancing and noticed those who offered "extras" after hours made 3x what I did. I was young and stupid, and sex just felt like sex to me, so it was quick, easy money. I left when I was 23/24 and met DH.

I got back into it when I was in my early 30s and left DH with nothing to my name, but left again when DH and I agreed to a suitable child maintenance arrangement, and I could afford to live.

I went back into it 2/3 months ago when possible redundancies were announced at my work, and I realised benefits covered only around 2/3 of my basic outgoings. I am in my early 40s with two adult children who still rely on me. DS is in uni, and DD has just started an NMW job; both still live with me.

Thank you for being so open - it’s rare to hear the voice of a woman in your profession. I’m curious if you have the body of a model or just a normal woman’s body. Do you work out a lot, do you have any imperfections like cellulite and stretch marks? Are your breasts still perky or a bit saggy like many women in the 40’s. How old is your average client?

Good point.

Just a normal woman. My breasts are definitely not perky. I enjoy running so I do workout but not obsessively. I could do with loosing a few lbs.

The average age is around 50, I'd say.

Hmm...I've seen quite a few of pp's posts on other threads and he doesn't strike me as an MRA. He does post a lot but so do a lot of posters esp on FWR, it doesn't necessarily mean they've got malicious intentions. There's a couple of other men who posts a lot & I don't think they're MRAs, though I often disagree with what they say.

Imo actual MRAs who lurk are more likely to pretend to be unconvincing 'women'

Op, do you think a lot of your clients are cheating on partners? I understand you often may not know.

Some are, some are single, or at least they say they are single. I'd say the split is around 50/50.

I think someone asked me earlier if I felt bad seeing married men, and I don't, not really. I know that sounds awful, but the way I look at it is that I'm single, I am not the one cheating, and if they weren't using my services, they'd be using someone else's.

The weirdest thing someone has ever said is that even though he was more attracted to me than the woman he booked with, he couldn't book with me because I had the same hair colour as his wife so that would feel more like cheating than being with someone with a different hair colour

I never really get asked about fetishes. I think someone asked about that. The only one was a man who wanted to pay to watch me smoke cigarettes. He didn't touch me; there was no sex; he just wanted to watch me smoke.

No. Just one example- I’ve seen him on a thread replying to an OP who posted about feeling violated by a man she was on a date with. He randomly told her to “suck him off” out of no where. His response? “You were going to do it eventually anyway”… Followed by many posts from him, confused, as apparently men would like it if they were told by a woman to go down on her, and he just couldn’t see the difference. He’s problematic.

Oh right, thanks.. I didn't know about that- disturbing if that's the context.

Ah- editing it seems to be this thread.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5434226-new-guy-put-me-off-right-before-we-had-sex-for-the-first-time?page=11&reply=148137412

It wasn't a completely random thing to say as they were kissing already at home, not just on a date outside, but it does seem rather odd. So many problems come when men assume what they'd like is what women would like (dick pics a good example)

do you give/receive oral sex or allow a anal sex? Do you have a person watching out to make sure you are home safe or are you hiding this from friends and family. Have you ever been arrested?

Do your children have a view on it, or is it just "Mum's job" to them?

OP's young abusive life she had no choice about.

This is her choice now.

Perhaps as you say, damaged, perhaps a strong character in control of her life.

People aren't all the same or react/cope the same. Very wide spectrum.

It's a fascinating thread and I appreciate OP for starting it.

Thank you, that's interesting.

'the way I look at it is that I'm single, I am not the one cheating, and if they weren't using my services, they'd be using someone else's.'

• hmm...but if you were in a relationship and your partner cheated, wouldn't you blame the OW? Or would you view as not culpable?

You don't have STDs but how do the wives know that? How do the clients necessarily know that? The husbands are putting their wives' sexual health at risk.

I understand the 'if I didn't offer it someone else would' argument, but all kinds of wrong behaviour (stealing money left in the street for one) can be justified that way.

I don’t know about you but if a man who I’ve never slept with before broke off a fully clothed kiss to say “suck me off”, while I still had food in my lap, I would consider that completely random… In the house or in public. It’s just one example I’ve seen I’m not wasting my time on him to search his other stupid opinions.

Do you have to Put on a show , or do you lie back and think of England ?

What a disgusting post. I hope you're proud of yourself for shaming someone who has clearly had a hard life. Try having some empathy.

So is the normal routine hi/ cash/ shower/ sex?

Pipe down with the melodramatics. She’s putting herself out there for opinions and questions, and she’s strong enough to take them.

Also - what's the one thing men moan about? Anal?

I agree. Judgemental in the extreme and so blinkered.

Probably never crossed her mind that some women in the confines of marriage are subjected to the most disgusting behaviour and abuse by their DH and desperately want to get away from him but can't for one reason or another.

The old adage, men will be men but let's blame the woman anyway as she's the tramp/insert usual insults.

Fine, if you can be that nasty and still 'look at yourself in the mirror', that's between you and your conscience. You've led a sheltered life if you consider something like my post to be 'melodramatics' though.

I'm really surprised you charge so little, £400 a week for 3-4 clients. I imagined sex work to be well paid. Is that the going rate?
Do you feel it's really worth it when there's other jobs you could do?

@Nevs Because it’s a bigger challenge to enjoy sex with a man who is conventionally unattractive by most people’s standards.

Do prostitutes even enjoy having sex with any of the clients?

This why you don’t get many obese unattractive female prostitutes- because no one want to fuck them. Duh ?

We both know that there are many female prostitutes who are obese or who are not considered conventionally attractive, so I'm not sure why you wrote that.

@Carla786 I've seen quite a few of pp's posts on other threads and he doesn't strike me as an MRA.

Indeed, I am not an MRA.

Imo actual MRAs who lurk are more likely to pretend to be unconvincing 'women'

In my experience, the worst men who seem to have the most horrendous attitudes towards women (and people as a whole) tend to be the creepy "feminist men" with soft effeminate voices.

“What a disgusting post” is melodramatic, dear.