I work in a sexual health clinic...ama

[Hereandthereandeverywhere]

Go for it! Nothing is too much

Don’t pretend that the impact of this is limited to polite language.

If a woman requested to see a woman nurse or practitioner, should she expect that to include trans women?

Blows my mind how some posters appear to be assuming OP is responsible for policies and standards required of staff (e.g. language around inclusivity) at their place of work.

As for posters who think asking for proof is acceptable - love to know what that would entail! And would they refuse being treated by a man?

Unfortunately from the OP's responses, she does not treat every patient with respect. She has said that if a female patient requests a female hcp then she would have no problem sending in a male hcp who identifies as a woman. That is not treating patients with respect. That is taking away a woman's right to have only medical examinations and treatments she consents to. It is assault and it's fucking disgusting that anyone connected to the health care profession can advocate for assaulting patients.

How many transgender healthcare practitioners do you think there are?

What, like calling women "vultures"?

And yes, of course many women won't want to be treated by a man. It might be different in an emergency life and death situation, but in a scheduled appointment that you know will be intimate and involve your active, conscious participation? Of course it's ok to ask for a person of your sex. Nobody needed it explained to them until about five minutes ago.

As for the imaginary request for "proof", well, firstly I don't believe that you struggle to sex people generally and second, the issue doesn't arise at all if professionals are honest and respect patient consent. Why would any decent male person attend a woman who requested a female person?

How many males performing intimate care on women who have requested a female is too many?

Nobody, absolutely nobody, has intimate care performed on them without consent, for any reason. A patient is allowed to decline an intimate procedure at any point, for any reason, so nobody would be having intimate care performed without their consent.

@Weeklyreport nails it. This is truly shocking and so, so telling about the misogynist nature of this service.

Yes, but it's not good enough to request a woman and have a man come in because "you can still refuse". The patient has already refused a man and is now under pressure to accept one. She has to refuse twice, once under, frankly, a attempt at gaslighting and coercion.

If there's a woman available, only a really shit clinic wouldn't have sent her in the first time. If a trans identified man is the only option, you can explain this to her and see if she's ok with it. But you don't hear her request a woman and send in a man!

You wouldn't accept this kind of crap in a restaurant. She ordered the pasta but it's ok to send her the beef and tell her it's pasta because she can still send it back to the kitchen?

Eh? I was talking about their workplace acceptable language - not sure they’d be saying vultures too often there.

I’m not asking for proof. Someone upthread said they’d want it 😂

Personally I sometimes ask if it’s possible for a midwife to carry out a procedure for instance, but I’ve never requested anything outside of that.

I would certainly refuse to be treated by a man. It would be even worse if it were a man pretending he's not a man.

It was OP who brought up the concept of women requiring "proof" of their practitioner's sex. It's the imaginary "genital inspection" thing. But it seems the reason she thought women might want it is because their rules allow male practitioners to be sent in even when female ones are requested.

If it's so very rare anyway, why on earth don't they simply make a rule against it?

OP is a trans-activist. He or she would deceive patients by telling a woman asking for a woman to examine her that a man was a woman.

She's not even ashamed. The sooner the legal cases (sadly) have to be brought to court, the better.

“How many males performing intimate care on women who have requested a female is too many?”

This is what I was responding to.

Comparing the NHS to a restaurant is frankly ridiculous. There are plenty of times in the NHS where you might “order beef and get pasta”. Your treatment is being balanced against the demands of the entire service, the acuity of the other patients, the skill mix of the team on the rota.

We will endeavour to provide a clinician in line with a patient’s wishes, but their wishes aren’t the only thing we need to consider.

Does the vulva shrink with age and is there anything that can be done to plump it up again? Also very dry.

im probably going through perimenopause.

If a woman requests a woman and a man comes in saying he’s a woman, you’re putting that patient, the one in who is actually a woman, in such a horrendous position. And if you think it’s ok because she could always just say “no thanks”, you’re wildly ignorant about the pressure women are under to accept this and wildly uninformed about human nature and consent.

Comparing the NHS to a restaurant is frankly ridiculous.

I am making the point that in a restaurant, where the stakes are far lower, nobody would accept deliberately being given the wrong order, and being told it was the right order, and pressured to accept it as the right order, because "you can always refuse". You wouldn't do that for a food order but it's fine for women who want a female doctor?

If you truly have no female practitioners available for your scheduled, non emergency appointment (yes of course emergencies are different) then you tell the patient, tell her she can have a man or a transwoman (also a man but I'm trying to be nice), and see what she says. You don't just send in a man when she told you she wants a woman, as if you've done what she asked, because she might be able to bring herself to refuse a second time in much harder circumstances.

I can answer this one. Yes it can do. I've attached a useful booklet - check the info and symptom checker Pages 12-15 and see your GP. Estrogen cream (low dose) applied to the vulva can help (given time - Nice Guidelines states to use for 3 months then review with your Dr.
Moistruiser can help applied at other times eg emollient ointment applied externally (Epaderm/Hydromol etc - try your local pharmacy) or Yes OB

menopausesupport.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Menopause-Support-Booklet-V2.pdf

I was sent a letter and have had no follow up.
I’ve read about it being dormant but still upset. They will re-test in a year.

How can a sexual health service be trauma-informed if a female-born person - for example, who has suffered abuse at the hands of a male-born person - cannot be guaranteed an intimate examination will be carried out by a female-born person? Are you not actively causing more harm if they have to accept a male-born person (however they may identify themselves) could be carrying out that examination? It’s not exactly a ‘safe space’ for female-born people who want that guarantee is it? Behind this super inclusive, non-judgemental, ‘everyone’s welcome’ approach, it’s the feelings and needs of the male-born practitioner that are being centred. Traumatised women have to swallow down their feelings, put their needs second and ‘be kind’ lest they be called a bigot.

It can be upsetting to get an HPV diagnosis, however most of us will have one of more strains at some point, and as you've found they can lay dormant for many years.
Smear tests (in the UK) look for high risk strains of HPV (there are approximately 14 they test for) and if found they also look for any abnormal cells. I had a negative smear result after my last relationship and then the next few have been annoyingly positive, maybe due to also having HIV although this is well controlled and my immune system is pretty good.
If it is going to progress (mine hasn't other than some borderline abnormal cells that the colposcopist thinks is more related to vaginal atrophy due to low estrogen), progression tends to be slow and over several years. This is why they retest in a year.
There is more information here eveappeal.org.uk/resource/hpv/

STDs...

For HIV, new diagnoses are being seen more in hetero men and women, probably due to testing being better in GBMSM. Source: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/rise-in-hiv-diagnoses-steepest-among-heterosexual-men-and-women

This is why threads like this can be helpful in asking questions about testing, not just for HIV but for all STIs.

She may or may not be responsible for them; but it’s horrifying that she defends them and can’t accept many people have issues with them.

The thought of a woman going to a sexual health clinic, asking specifically to be seen by a woman, and being sent a man in a dress makes me want to cry.

It's so heartless. No empathy at all for that woman and what she might have been through that leads her to feel safe only with someone of the same sex for an intimate examination or procedure. She's a prop. Only the man's special gender feelings matter.

And I don't care how unlikely it is. If it's policy, that makes it possible. One woman suffering that is one too many.