AMA: I am so rich and hopeless that I have not noticed £75K in USD being deposited into my bank account.

[ThePieceHall]

Just that really. But will it wash with the DWP for UC purposes?

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What? Is the money yours? If so, why do you need UC.

🤣🤣🤣 well said.

😂

Ach what's the odd £75k between "best pals"

Have a look at the news 😉

What money? There was no money. I have no recollection of any money being paid into my bank account.

I know, I wish my friends were not such CFs that they neglected to actually let me know every time they dropped me $25K. So fucking annoying.

Yeah I’d not notice it either . Small change quite frankly.

Until the cheques are proved real I can’t remember Jack shit.

It was s while ago, and you've frittered it away spent it, presumably, so it won't affect your UC claim, surely?

75k? Thats the price of a pint (in London) and a loaf of bread 🤣

Exactly! My point precisely. Who has the time or energy to keep a track of such small change.

I’m liking your style. Will you come with me to my interview with the DWP?

Oh, hang on, I’m getting a vague memory through the drunken haze. I think I may have (squandered) it on cocktails and super-yacht holidays with that toy-boy boyfriend.

I found more than that in the pocket of a jacket I hadn't worn for a while. Not.

Especially near to the House/s.

Totally understandable OP.

My friends like to queue to give me cash in Fortnum & Mason bags. I couldn't possibly be expected to keep on top of something like £75k

Have you tried ferreting down the back of your sofa recently? I did and it was revelatory. The number of £50 notes was shocking. Anyway, I’m sacking the cleaner because she should have been on top of removing the cushions and keeping the sofa pristine.

Well it was 20 years ago- how is one expected to keep track of every transaction? Completely understandable

I don't even bother with a sofa I just sit on £50 notes. One doesn't have room otherwise.

Always white in the undies choices?

Why has no-one ever paid thousands of dollars into my bank account?

<stamps foot in annoyance>

Am sure if you want to take an osteopathy course someone would send you £10k?

Exactly. Such a ridiculous ask. Bloody hell, don’t they know I’m too busy ‘networking’ with the shakers and movers? Also, (let’s hope the DWP are not reading this) but I strongly recommend switching your F&M bags for Lidl’s bags for life. It’s incredible what one can get away with when one camouflages oneself and sports a Lidl bag.

I haven't. Good thought. I found a few £75 notes under the seat of the car though 👍