I have no family. AT ALL. AMA

[ChipsRebecca]

None whatsoever

Online contact is enough

What do you say to people when they ask if you have family? What do you tell people when they ask how you are spending Christ mad /New Year. Or like milestone birthdays. Did people ask what you did for your 50th or 40th?. Do you work? Are you honest about your loneliness with people in real life or do you make stuff up to satisfy their curiosity? .

To be honest for the last 5 years I’ve bee dealing with my Dad’s death/estate so I dont see many people in real life - so I don’t get asked about my private life

I don’t work

That is tough if you don't have a spouse or children. I have very little family but I am married with adult DCs (who are currently not living at home full time).

I do get lonely sometimes esp around the times people have big gatherings, although we do have DH's family for Xmas it's just his DB, his wife (no comment!) and their DCs if about (also adults). All our parents have now passed but the generation below us haven't had children yet so it's small.

Would you think about going in to retirement accommodation when you reach a certain age? I've recently been visiting a family friend in hers and it is such a lovely community - I'd definitely consider it if DH dies first - I'd rather live in a smaller flat and have the social side, than rattle around in a house on my own and be lonely.

That sounds very lonely.. How would you respond if things were different, if you did see people in real life who asked these questions?

When was the last time you worked? How did you converse with people then?

2020 was last time I an office

i loved the department I worked in then

What did you love about the department? What do you miss about it? Sounds like you were in a happier place in 2020…? It might be worth looking into doing some voluntary work now? It’s important to have human contact in some form. Social isolation impacts negatively on health.

Hi. Are you planning to go back to work? How do you spend your days?

Have you thought about doing one of those DNA tests to see if you have any long lost relatives?

No I’ve got relatives just not talking to them !

Yes I’m planning to go back to work

How I spend my days depends what tasks I’m doing at the time tbh - admin etc

How I spend my days depends what tasks I’m doing at the time tbh - admin etc

That's a really vague answer. Isn't that how we all spend our time? Obviously you are under no obligation to answer but for instance how are you spending your time today? This week? At the end of the week, can you look back and see where all those hours went?

I must admit, I agree and would like to see some longer answers from the OP.

This could have been an interesting and useful thread for others who are also lacking family, but instead the answers are very short and a bit defensive / dismissive.

I’m confused how your father’s estate can be so complicated that is has taken 5 years and leaves no time for you to do paid work or other projects. Why has it been so all encompassing?

(I lost both my parents well before I was 50 but an estates solicitor had everything done and dusted in a year. All I had to do was sign the occasional form, it barely affected my day to day life at all. Not in the UK but a sizeable 7 figure estate. I am concerned that my DH won’t be able to manage his parents’ deceased estates so I am intrigued why your father’s estate is so time consuming).

I have no immediate family either apart from my ds who is 20. I have no desire or need for a partner and am very happy single. My parents are deceased and I am an only child. Cousins all extremely old and not at all close. I do ring one 83 yr old cousin once a year as her grandchildren are in their 20s so similar to ds but she is very naive and her mindset is still stuck in the 1950s so I find once a year is enough!

I have to say though at least I can please myself. No toxic comments or judgement as to how I choose to live. Just pleased that ds has several rellies on his dad's side that he visits fairly regularly.

I’m confused how you have cousins as an only child of only children?
it’s been asked before but you haven’t answered it @ChipsRebecca

Sorry - I’ve got 2nd cousins as my grandparents both had several siblings - mum’s side

but no 1st cousins at all