I have no family. AT ALL. AMA

[ChipsRebecca]

None whatsoever

Yes I’d like a partner

I’d just like to say, being only 52, you are still so young and have so much time to find somebody to call your family and I really hope you do.
Wishing you all the best OP x

Are you doing anything to find a partner then?

Not atm as I’m bogged down with practical things

Being without family can be incredibly freeing.
I always found that family have these ideas of you or opinions about what you re like, and they never change based on maturity. It's because you were one way when you were young. They can't accept that you ever changed. We have a lot of preconceived ideas about you, and it's quite difficult to break free from that.

Do you have any family at all?Or are they literally all dead. Or are there some family members you don't see or aren't close to.

Yes some family I don’t see

Do you feel like trying to build a better bond? The family members that still live. Or is that not possible.

You sound very flat. How are you feeling tonight?

OP - sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely.

May I ask, why do you choose to rent rather than buy a place? The reason I ask is that renting can be precarious and you may need to move on if landlord decides to sell up etc. You might have to move areas which could be problematic if you have built connections and friendships in a particular place. Also, renting will be eating into your savings.

Do you have friends op?
Kind neighbours?

What are your hobbies? Do you ever think about joining any hobby groups?

I'm also pretty lonely. I do have family, no real friends though. I love the gardening thread I took over on here because there's so many lovely people who all share a common interest and I really genuinely love seeing and hearing all of their highs and lows but I don't have the confidence to find any gardening clubs. Ditto crochet. I'd love to do a weekly stitch and bitch style club but no confidence. If you do do these sorts of things, what would you do or say to someone in my shoes who's also quite lonely?

No. I don’t want to build a better bond

Who do you talk to, share stories with, ask advice of? Do you ruminate on things a lot? If you were going to (eg) sell your home, or change career, or make any sort of big decision, have you someone to chat to?

I talk and share stories with this guy I know online but I’m very wary of security so I don’t give any ‘identitying’ details - we’re never going to meet in real life

I do ruminate about things far too much

With the big life decisions - I feel I know my own mind with those so don’t need advice

But mean to say I get advice from MN

My hobbies are reading, fitness and music. I also like history. Yes I enjoy hobby groups.

No real friends

suoerfically nice neighbours, yes

OP I will be in this situation at some point in the next few years . I have only one elderly relative left . I come from a very fractured family who I have no contact with at all . I do have plenty of friends but no one I would call in an emergency. I am very happy now but the future does worry me . I have no one who can be POA etc . I do wonder how many are in the same boat because it’s not widely talked about . People can end up with no one for many reasons , small family , only child , estrangement due to abuse . It’s the real connection that I will miss . Not everyone comes from a good family sadly .

Hi. Yes agreed that not everyone comes from a good family.

Don’t worry about things like POA because it’s more than likely that you won’t need care in the future. I think the old age thing is ramped up and stereotyped a bit especially by the media and that there most people actually don’t need ‘care’ as they age

Not at the minute trying to fulfil my personal goals first

Yes you make some valid points but I choose to rent fit flexibility

my landlord isn’t the type as such to sell up as the property I live is part of a portfolio of investments but then again - there is always a possibility of course that he’ll sell

Don’t worry about things like POA because it’s more than likely that you won’t need care in the future. I think the old age thing is ramped up and stereotyped a bit especially by the media and that there most people actually don’t need ‘care’ as they age

How do you come to this conclusion? I ask because my DSis works in Adult Social Care and it’s something she worries about a lot as a result.

Don’t worry about things like POA because it’s more than likely that you won’t need care in the future. I think the old age thing is ramped up and stereotyped a bit especially by the media and that there most people actually don’t need ‘care’ as they age

How do you come to this conclusion? I ask because my DSis works in Adult Social Care and it’s something she worries about a lot as a result.

I heard a podcast on meaningfull money where it said everyone plans for care homes because it’s drummed into us but only 5% of people actually need a care home . The difference in my situation of having no family is they’ll be no one to help in the home so I may need a care home more than others who have family assistance to stay in their own home longer .

That’s a very reassuring statistic. Thank you. The thought of being in one of these homes (she does CQC inspections) is a worry.