I have no family. AT ALL. AMA

[ChipsRebecca]

None whatsoever

In my case - the reason I came to this conclusion is actually because of mumsnet!

Because when a poster is worried they’re depriving their kid of sibling by having just one child - posters typically reassure the OP by saying- don’t worry you may not need care anyway

in my close family - 2 members needed care 2 didn’t

Thank you for starting this thread @ChipsRebecca

This could well be my future too. I am an only child, childless (not by choice) and my cousins are not close to me (they are close as siblings, but would never include me in that - I am just surplus to requirements).

I do have a partner though and also a very good friend who has hardly any family either, so I am not entirely alone. I would be really happy if I could have a child, but I'd be an older parent, and I am not sure bringing another innocent soul into the world (probably another only child) with zero extended family network would be a kind thing to do.

Do you ever feel a certain kind of 'shock' that you are in this position? I do. If I were ever to find myself completely alone in the future, I'd feel very much like, I didn't deserve it, if that makes sense? I think I am a kind, friendly and thoughtful person. I know life is essentially just random luck, but I can't understand why I face such possible solitude whilst others are surrounded by big family networks.

Likewise, I worry terribly about the future. Being entirely on my own as an elderly person and maybe dying alone too. 😞 I hope I can live in a retirement village type setting though where I could access support if needed, and maybe have the company of friends. I also hope that AI might make some of the practical aspects of coping with old age easier too - medication management, POA (at least the financial side).

Best wishes to you and also to anyone else facing this.

Are you happy? I think it’s perfectly possible to be happy and fulfilled with just your own company but you don’t actually sound either of those things really. You say you would like a partner but you’re doing nothing to help you find one and frankly hobbies like reading and music and not working are not going to help there. You speak about not actively looking at the moment, because you are bogged down with the admin of your father’s estate (is it very complicated?) and with fulfilling your personal goals first, although it’s unclear what those are?

I would just say, basically - be yourself.

I’ve honestly found in the past that when aim for my own goals like weightloss goals things like friendship come naturally. I personally feel focusing on your own goals and confidence yields better results than actively seeking ‘friends’ .

As for the gardening / stitching groups - harness and build your confidence but only go if you really want to

Do you wish to meet a partner or get married ? You can

Also curious about what your goals are. I'm semi retired and have only one relative left. Could continue working but don't have to. Are you ft in work or your inheritance allows you part time and travel..👜

Having read your thread OP, I have to say I don't feel the least bit sorry for you with regard having no family. Family can be our greatest supporters but they're also (by far) our harshest critics and judges. Having no family must be very liberating so is not completely without an upside. I do feel for you having no close friends though, or even pets to lavish and receive love from. Some people just don't need this but from your posts it sounds like you would like this, although not enough to actually really do something about it.

Yes I dont feel particularly bad for having no family - if I’m being honest - the worst times in my life was when I did have family !

Yes my inheritance does allow part time and travel

Yes .. I’m keeping an open mind

No cousins or distant Auntie somewhere from family tree plotted

I’ve got cousins but not talking to any of em ! No aunties

Do you ever wish you did have siblings OP?

I used to as a child not now

Why is that? I think it is the opposite for me! Wasn't bothered about having a sibling as a child, but as an adult I feel a big gap in my life from not having one.

Because as a child I had less control.

i don’t mind not having siblings as an adult because as an adult:

I don’t have to mix with people I don’t want to

Don’t have to engage in unwanted social activity- eg go on excruciating Sunday School trips

I’m not part of a community I don’t want to be part of

I do see what you mean BUT if you had a sibling, even if you got on fine and there was no hostility between you, your sibling might be too busy living their own life ti have much of a relationship with you

Have you supported yourself financially 100% in your adult life? Or have your parents always helped you out with rent and bills etc?

You say you are sorting out your parents estate. Did they own a house?

I’ve supported myself financially in adult life

yes they owned their own house

If both of your parents were only children, how do you have cousins? Just curious!

Have you ever been married or had a life partner?

Why have you never bought a property? Have you ever had a meaningful relationship and lived with them?

I’m an only child and worry about the future and with lack of emotional support. That said one parent has dementia but I’m close to the other one.

I also have no family, no partner and a tiny handful of friends who all have other friends who they prioritise over me.

Echoing this.
Sending you hugs op. xx