My boys go to a prestigious boarding school. Ask me anything !

[tummyduck]

Ask me anything about my boys who board at an all boys’ school ! Any disrespectful questions will be ignored

Do you ever think it would have been easier just to not bother having children in the first place if you’re unable to live with them.

Why did you choose to trail your husband over staying in the UK with your kids whilst your husband works abroad?

why why ? and I ask this as someone who is married to someone who was sent to boarding school
his sister also sent her kids boarding school, they know no one in their local town and have no friends there. has to drive hours to bring them to school on Sunday eve. they don't come home for 2 weekends in a month for the 1st couple of years they shared a room with 4 other students. she complained that kids are hard work when home - am like how you sent them away. it costs a fortune and she lives down the road from one of the top schools in the county.

Did you take into account that the school may have changed in several ways since your DH was there?

Why is your DH’s job more important than raising your children?

Are you aware that many people who went to boarding school actually hate it, discover emotional issues later on and resent their parents? This is without the abuse issue. What research did you do beforehand other than speak to your DH?

How much does it cost roughly per year? What is the rate of very successful lives, wery good money jobs after the school?
I heard they are very expensive and I'm intrigued in knowing if they are worth the value as an investment to get them in a kind of top 1% club.
I can't afford it but just curious.

What is the purpose of your thread? Narcissistic much?

Well, at least your school didnt stop you from being analytical and honest. You clearly dont feel the need to slavishly ' honour' your school with herd-like thinking, which is good.

I worked in a state primary for years. The ones who went on to private secondary were rarely the brightest in the class.

Why do you start your sentences in lower case letters? Surely, sentences are started in upper case letters. I went to an exclusive all girls' school half a century ago. We were taught Reading & Writing!

I didn’t go to private school. 2 of my children did. That doesn’t mean I have any illusions about what they offer and why people use them

Exactly. My DH is still fucked up after being abandoned at boarding school. He's now NC with his parents.

Why? Is this a stealth boast?

Do you work?

If not, why do you and your dh prioritise his career over your kids welfare?

Exactly, they all love it as young teens it's one long sleepover. Until the abandonment issues start festering.

I'm glad to read they are fine. Schools, day and boarding, are far more child-friendly than in my day (I boarded for a while as a teenager). There are two boarding schools near me (one used to be like St Trinians, less so now as they have a lot more overseas students who are better behaved), and I see the pupils out locally, always cheerful and larking about. A friend of mine taught there for a few years.

One of my late husband's uncles was in the army and his children boarded, they loved it and that was many years ago. They all grew up very nicely too.

If you have to travel for work you do what needs to be done and it sounds as though you have done your best.

We had a relative who trailed round the word after her dh. I think she was worried he'd stray so their kids were packed off to be be brought up by teachers. It's all very sad, prestigious or not it is putting your kids in care.

My DH boarded in the UK at a prestigious boarding school, as did a number of my male friends.

They ALL struggle to express their emotions and none of them are particularly close to their parents. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that living in an institution, away from their families, in formative years was a major factor in terms of their development. ‘Boarding school syndrome’ is well documented. Do you worry about this?

In your opinion, what does good pastoral care look like? What qualities or approaches do you value most, and can you share any examples of pastoral care/support that has worked well or made a positive difference for your boys?

Actually for their school, you have to be bright. 25% come in on assisted places and my fees pay for them and I am happy about that

This is how wealthy people assuage their guilt about perpetuating privilege.

Do you pay the school fees out of earned income or is it grandparents/ family money?

We paid school fees out of inheritance but can’t afford to help our adult kids with school fees and I feel sad about that.

Donttellempike: Durham is stuffed full of ex boarding school types. My son said most were pretty thick TBH
.......
Durham is a highly rated university that does not take 'thickos'. Look at their website.

Having said that, boarding schools are not just for clever kids, quite ordinary, average children go to them. Some are highly academic and others offer a more gentle education.

Oh no!! Durham is on dd list, she's also at a grammar. That does not sound like she'd like it there if it's full of stuffy oxbridge rejects. 😬

Private schools offer scholarships to poor (very) bright kids. Because said poor kids will achieve stellar grades which the school can put in their shiny brochures.

It is very much NOT driven by altruism

Why did you chose going abroad with your husband instead of staying in the UK with your kids? I work full time, and without a doubt the best moment of my day is when I get home from work and see them.

BTW my DF was in exactly this situation. He's in his 80s now. His father worked abroad, his mother and children went him. Once the children reached 11, they were left in the UK at boarding school. My df would definitely say it was very difficult for him, looking back. But at the time, he accepted it. However, he could go months without seeing his parents, as travel was very expensive back then.

But it is a ‘sacrifice’ that’s only in your favour, in that the true sacrifice is two children who see very little of their parents. Presumably they would have still been able to attend the same school, with you living nearby and seeing them every weekend?