My boys go to a prestigious boarding school. Ask me anything !

[tummyduck]

Ask me anything about my boys who board at an all boys’ school ! Any disrespectful questions will be ignored

What's the difference between a prestige boarding school and a not prestigious one?

Do you feel you know the staff at your children's school well?

Does your daughter go to a school in the uk when you are here? Or get work sent home from her school abroad? How does that work?

Do they make their beds/change their sheets/clear the dinner table etc at school?

Do they have a big communal area? What do they do there? I am imagining the fun of lots of boys playing an exciting board game but also 50 boys arguing over the tv remote!

Thank you for this thread. My dh is from a military family but his parents chose the other option and he travelled with his parents. It's been very interesting to see what life would be like from the other side.

I guess ´well known’ is better than prestigous as an adjective here

no she goes to school at post and not in the uk.

yes they do all their bedding and take turns clearing the table

they eat in tables of about 12 I think

evenings - mainly playing footie/watching footie/a film

lol! Yes sometimes actually

Why bother starting what you know will be a controversial thread if you can’t even be bothered to answer the question that underpins your choice?

I'm not puzzled about why anyone would want to ask questions! I'm fascinated by boarding schools. @tummyduck Who makes sure the children brush their teeth twice a day? Wash their hands after the loo? How do they make sure each child bathes regularly? Do they have to make their beds? Who gets them up and makes sure they go to bed on time? Does anyone cuddle them if they are upset? These are issues for younger children, of course.

Living at school just seems so utterly weird, like living at work. I could never get my husband to answer the questions above, probably because I asked them after lights out. I'd ask what would happen if the boys talked after lights out, and he would say "This is the talkiest dorm I've ever been in!" 😂

closing this thread now- too tired! Beach day tomorrow

where did I say I wanted to be your friend? 🙄

My friends are down to earth, grafters , real and kind. There nothing like you🤡

meany?😂 You sound like a school girl from a Enid blyton book 🤢

😂😂😂
have a day of

How do you afford it?

Do the boys receive sincere and caring Christian exposure - chance to study for Communion, access to fun social clubs examining their own feelings, theological thinkings, Biblical writings etc.

Do they (or some of their room mates) keep a keg of beer under their beds, climb out the windows to meet mates at the nearby river or girls' school etc. All of these things, and more, my prestigious school attending cousins did in the 1990s. They do well in life but they had more risky adventures at school.

I can’t fathom choosing my DH and his job over my children. Your DH has a choice about what work he does whereas your children have no such choice. Yea, sure, they love their boarding school but that could just be because they are doing the best they can with the shitty hand that they have been dealt.

lol I wish.

My response was based on Victoria’s unnecessary mean comments about op and her children without knowing them, only because op’s kids go to boarding school.

No need to bully op or make for of her kids just because she has problem with the concept of boarding school. If an institution bothers you to the point of bullying, then address it with the owners or authority not bully those who attend it.

About me starting a campaign for something I feel strongly about, it’s not relevant to the topic of this thread. But I don’t go bullying people just and make fun of kids.

Because those snarky comments / questions don’t deserve long replies.

Reading all of Op's posts, I find her genuinely a caring and wonderful mother.
She, like not all people, has the choice of boarding her boys and keeping her relationship strong with her husband.
I think she has chosen well based on the fact that her boys seem respectful and successful, happy and not wanting to change their circumstances. I trust that Op would, in a heart beat, make changes if their boys wanted them to.

Best of luck, health and fortune, Op. Thanks for sharing.
My kids lived at home but that is not the only way to bring up thriving young adults.

I agree and am surprised. I would have thought the questions would have been different. Lots of children board, always have. If the school is good, not just academically but nurturing those less academic so they fulfil. their potential, I see nothing wrong. Schools have improved overall in recent times, there is more room for the individual and the atmosphere is kinder. School holidays are longer too.

The op seems like a caring parent, I've no doubt if one of her boarding children was unhappy at their school she would take them out and find somewhere else that suited better. Carole Middleton did that with the now Princess of Wales; Kate was very unhappy at Downe so her parents removed her from there and put her in Marlborough. Whatever criticisms I've read that have been levied against the Middleton, nobody has ever said they were not a close, loving family.

The days of places like the (fictional) Lowood are long over.

Do you worry about Boarding School syndrome/other behaviours that many children who board exhibit later in life? Do you feel you have a really good knowledge of what your children's lives are like at school, or do you think you see what the school wants you to see?

I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I went to "prestigious" boarding schools from a very young age. I think it messed me up a bit and I have to be honest that it wouldn't be a choice I'd make for my own son. l'm in my 30s now and told my Mum some of the stuff that went on recently. She was horrified and had been completely ignorant to it. It was just "normal" to me at the time, although I recognise it as problematic now I am a parent, but her reaction really surprised me, I'd always thought she'd been aware of what it was like but the schools/house mistresses were obviously very good at presenting a particular image to parents. I wonder if it's the same now or if there is better transparency between schools and parents.

I'll ask again, what's your notion of 'good quality pastoral care', what do you expect? Can you give examples where your boys or maybe a friend has received pastoral care that was 'good'? TIA

Who hugs them when they experience ‘big emotions’?

Or when they just need a cuddle? My children are 10 and 12 and need a LOT of back scratching, hugs, sensory input (both ND) so appreciate that’s not the normal but kids need hugs 😬

Are the staff allowed to offer hugs and comfort them?

Disclaimer…. I am an ‘Irish Mammy’

Are they happy?

You present a picture of your sons as being completely and blissfully happy and content 100% of the time and never needing you outside of the time you are available for.
I’m not criticising your choices as they probably are happy on the whole and very privileged but surely you can accept that there will be times when they have or will need you and you won’t be there? The pastoral care are not parent substitutes.

It’s fine to have no guilt about your choices but no teen in the world goes 13-17 without any low points, insecurities, bad moods, friendship issues, genuine problems. As a parent, these aren’t necessarily the things that you find out about when they get home and you ask how their day was (“fine” usually) but later on when you’re walking the dog with them or diving to a football game or saying good night or dealing with why they’ve had a massive temper outburst for no apparent reason. It’s often at the mundane moments they open up, the moments that you don’t have.

I also asked what ‘different learning needs’ girls have to boys, but you ignored that. Still interested, if you have an answer?

The environmental impact of your decision is far from insignificant. As it happens, I also think that ‘anyone else who goes on long haul flights’ needs to seriously consider their carbon footprint.

Have you ever asked them if they'd like to live with you full time? "...when we are back..." and "...can't..." doesn't sound like it is something that has been discussed.

Boarding schools are improved greatly I'm sure. My father went to boarding school. He was not abused and rather liked it but he never forgave his mother for sending him away. He was a deeply unpleasant person. I'm not sure if boarding school did that to him but I don't think it helped.

‘Probably say’ - ?!? I bloody hope so!! Otherwise you’ve basically left your children to their own devices which is what children wandering around town would be..!
I would’ve thought you’d want it to be comparable to a home environment in terms of safety surely!!