My boys go to a prestigious boarding school. Ask me anything !

[tummyduck]

Ask me anything about my boys who board at an all boys’ school ! Any disrespectful questions will be ignored

This is a choice funded by the tax payer. OP could base themselves in UK and partner sees her when home. Let’s face it, it’s not an option open to your average squaddie with two or more kids whose salary doesn’t stretch to the 10% contribution. Presumably they too get sent wherever whenever? I suspect this is the thin end of the wedge too; MOD must be picking up other costs associated with the partner choosing to trail the spouse.

I was thinking exactly the same thing.

I do feel really sorry for the children who dont see their folks at half term but I haven’t heard of that where we are - maybe less common these days ..thankfully?

Yes! You would get far less people serving if they couldn’t bring their family with them

No she is at post with us! She travels back and forth with me to see her brothers or the boys come out here!

Do you mean they are in england full time yet you and your husband live abroad half the time? If so do you not worry that one of them might suddenly be taken ill and if you're abroad so much you can't get to them very quickly? That would petrify me!

probably a lot of ‘notable families’ but not sure of the definition. Considered extremely uncool for the boys to talk about it or me to ask them apparently

This is a fear. Yes. But touch wood. I trust the grandparents to hold the fort whilst i am driving to their airport

Yes , they are there term time and we spend holidays together and long weekends etc

All these threads go the same way. Boarding schools equals neglect. But the majority of pupils needing support are in state schools.
Why is Cahms so over worked? Surely as the majority of DC live at home with their parents full time and attend state schools they should only need to have boarding pupils as patients/ clients.
Oh, is it because children from all backgrounds can develop MH problems. Some who boarding will develop boarding school syndrome as opposed to developing other MH conditions. There is nothing to say that those kids wouldn't have developed another MH condition if they attended Bash St Comp.
Boarding can provide stability, opportunity for a full rounded education and if kids don't have bonds at home by the time they go to boarding school they probably will have issues anyway regardless.

My heart aches when I haven’t seen my children while I’m at work. My greatest joy is sitting at the table together for dinner and hearing about their day. Time is already moving too quickly. These really are the best days of our lives. With kindness, I find it so hard to comprehend and I’m wondering if you had a close relationship with your parents when you were young?

2 years at prep first and now at public school

@tummyduck I’ve been fascinated by this thread!

The life you describe is completely different to mine & hard for me to imagine. However, I’m amazed at the snarky, rude questions you’ve got, and the blatant accusations that you’re not being a parent, that you are rearing future emotionally unavailable adults - who most likely will have been abused as teenagers. 😳

I think you’ve been commendably unperturbed and calmly confident in your answers - like a PP, I like you!

I can’t understand why posters can’t understand that families make different choices, including ones that they wouldn’t, and that that’s ok, and not a sign of poor parenting.

Will they be interested? Er, no

In my experience from my time at Winchester, all the boys who were having mental health issues were being treated privately not via CAMHS.

Thank you- I also find the way that other people do life fascinating . It certainly isnt for everyone, but most of us try our very best for our children

It goes so quickly. Before you know it, you're saying goodbye to them as they go to university. Honestly, enjoy it when they're young.

I find it really sad when people choose jobs, money 'education' and each other over emotional happiness and welfare.

How someone cannot realise being in another country half the time to their child (because they weren't even teens when they first went) is neglectful I don't know....seems like OP has been brainwashed by the DH and/or is in denial about the inappropriateness situation.

Although sadly, I'm sure there are many more upper class parents doing similar and in some circles it's normalised.

I asked if the real reason is simply that your DH is from a family who have a “tradition” of using boarding schools, and you just carried it on and are now having to try and justify that decision?

Also why you prioritised their education over everything else? Do you really, truly believe this is the most important thing in their life at this age? It just feels like such a huge amount for THEM to go without in the hope they come out with good academic grades! I can’t understand how any parent can rationalise this. Why wasn’t a better option for your husband to get a different job and your kids not be separated from their parents while they go through all the trials and tribulations of growing up?

How do you and your husband combine a military and a humanitarian career? Aren’t you for ever having to work in different places because his tours of duty and your contracts are on different timelines? What type of humanitarian work do you do?

Your children go 190 / 240 days a year (so 50/ 66%) without any family contact - is that right?

You speak in your responses often about your husband, his family, his job, his traditions… if you were married to someone else would your children board?

If money was no object and you and your husband didn’t have to work - would your children live with you?

Are you planning to board your daughter?

so why the numbers at cahms..all those kids in the bosom of their families, parents there for tea, bedtime..oh wait..MH effects all backgrounds. Maybe different triggers but susceptibility doesn't discriminate.

But she hasn't. She's hardly answered anything, just given a one sentence, terse reply.

Why bother if you aren't going to chat about it?

There is this concept in the military called duty and service. That is why he hasn’t taken another job.
i don’t think I am choosing academics above everything..it is a decision based on a number of things. Academics is of course important- I don’t want them disadvantaged bringing them with us. It is a gamble

where are the rules about length of response? You should meet me in real life - I am very to the point!