My boys go to a prestigious boarding school. Ask me anything !

[tummyduck]

Ask me anything about my boys who board at an all boys’ school ! Any disrespectful questions will be ignored

Because you are on Mumsnet, and commenting? If you don’t care scroll on

I bet I spend more actual quality time with my kids than a lot of parents who park them on screens…

Yes - of 13 or 16? Of course they go into town with friends and parties

Loved. Like children. It is what their friends do, and part of their culture.

My daughter is 10 and I already feel the time slipping away. Time with your kids is such a fucking joy. I’d hate to be without it for weeks on end.

I’m sorry and I hope you’re ok

But that’s the point isn’t it. Real parenting is what happens in between the Hollywood emotion/the ‘making memories’ events etc. It’s those moments which forge the real bonds.

You don’t even see them both weekend days when you’re in the same country? Why only Sunday?

Academic State girls grammar . I did very well academically must I didn’t have the opportunities for sport of music that my kids have. Also we were taught to pass exams and very narrow syllabus compared to my kids. My kids have a much richer and comprehensive education on eg history and geography compared to me. At GCSE I only leart about 3 specific parts of history
i have some friends from school but a lot of is had very different aspirations

My ex partner went to boarding school (prestigious/pretentious whatever you want to refer to)… he turned out to be the most emotionally unavailable person I think I have ever met and ever will meet. He had zero relationship with his elder sibling who was at same school. Became super obsessive when we was together and is now the biggest helicopter parent to our two daughters. He is entitled, arrogant and has absolutely zero sense of humour. He had an awful relationship with his parents, couldn’t understand why I was so close to my family. He left school with no friends, no qualifications as he didn’t sit his GCSEs.

The long-term impact in sending your children away for a prestigious titled school may not be on your radar yet, it may never impact you, but at some point it will affect someone I’m sure of it.

MN will love this-
they have to board on Saturday night and Sunday morning they go to chapel or a non Christian group (their choice)

Do you not find this ironic, OP?

That you are a humanitarian, yet you choose to live away from your children? Or rather that you choose for your children to live away from you. That you are denying your youngest DC growing up with their siblings.

No doubt it will affect someone. It isn’t for every child for sure
i know similar people to your ex in terms of emotional unavailability. It is difficult to how to attribute it , often a mixture of things, family dynamics, school environment, peers

No I don’t. I look after extremely unfortunate populations. My kids are very lucky . They adore their little sister so much, and only half an hour ago might heart almost burst as my eldest was carrying his little sister up the hill from dinner . Absence makes the heart go fonder when it comes to some I guess?

Eton or Harrow eh?

So do you actually think I am not bonded with my kids who I gave birth to and nursed for 2 years etc etc because they go to a boarding school?

yes it was harder at the beginning but I didnt fancy moving their schools as they had great friends

Haha it is an interesting exercise! I think people reveal themselves through some of their comments.
We all have your preconceived ideas and prejudices- I definitely do

What do you want from this post??

I shouldn’t have put ‘real’ in there - that implies that I don’t think you have a bond with your kids which is not what I meant. I have just found that as they get older (especially as they become 12+) it’s about being ‘around’ - being there to catch those moments which are unplanned. Rather than having to ask ‘is there anything the matter’, letting them come to you in their own time because they can do, they know you’re there. The number of times I have nipped in to say goodnight to my 13 year old and come out of his room an hour later after a lovely, heartfelt chat (not always serious, but sometimes serious) which just came out of nowhere, because it could.

The OP says that they themselves only live 10 mins away when in the UK!

I wonder why they can't live at home for the part of the year that the OP is in the UK?

Not to mention some countries day school costs a hell of a lot more if you took your kids with you for 3 years . Ever looked at Washington fees!? Cheaper for the tax payer that way

Absence makes the heart go fonder when it comes to some I guess?

Whatever makes you feel better, I guess?

Absence from your own children BY CHOICE is cruel.

no day option - it is boarding only !

Maybe , maybe not.

excellent school with their mates vs 3 years in a school where they had no friends and academics disrupted.
not really about what I want - it is what is best for them considering our family’s lifestyle