AMA - Had a baby at 14, now in my late 20s with a teenage son

[CurvedTiger]

Not sure if anyone will be interested, but thought I’d do an AMA! I fell pregnant at 13, had my DS at 14, and now I’m in my late 20s with a teenager who eats me out of house and home. It’s been a wild ride, and I still feel like I’m playing catch-up with my life in some ways.

Happy to answer anything – whether it’s about being a teen mum, how I managed school/work, relationships, or just what it’s like having a teenager when most of my mates are only just having babies now. Fire away!

I just want to say well bloody done to you

I just wanted to so say good on you. That must have been ever so hard in those early years. I’m glad your parents helped, but sounds like lots of folks failed you and you deserved better. How hard your worked for your quals! Well done on raising him and gaining your independence. Sky’s the limit! I’m very excited for your next steps.

Your lad is so lucky to have you as his mum OP.

How have your relationships been affected by your situation?

Sounds like you’ve smashed it. And I feel you about the eating you out of house and home. I have a 17 year old and a 12 year old. I don’t know where they put it 🤭 I was 19 when I had DS. Still had my little group of friends from high school, they were all excited at first, couldn’t wait to meet him etc as I was the first girl in our group to have kids, I think a few saw him once and my 2 best friends saw us about 5 times and we moved so it was hard to keep up, we keep contact but nothing like it was. You enter a whole new world with a kid, your whole life shifts. One thing I’ve always said is, it changes you, even though I’d looked after my sister who is 4 years older than DS, it’s a whole different kettle of fish with your own, for me it’s like a switch flipped and I instantly entered mum mode. Obviously it’s not ideal for your 13 year old to come home pregnant, but if dd did then I’d support her as much as possible. Kids make mistakes, you learn from your mistakes. I’d feel ultimately responsible because I’d thought I’d have taught her better, not gonna hold it against her though.

What a lovely thread .OP you sound incredible! I had my daughter in my early 30s and it was hard going,I'm still winging it now! I'm sure your son is very proud of his ma.Lots of luck for the future x

I'm sorry to hear this was your experience at school, I had my son in the middle 90's and my school were so supportive for which I am so grateful.
It can't have been easy for them as I was the first pupil to fall pregnant while at school.

I only dropped drama as I wasn't at school for the exams and was given a lot of leeway for homework etc

I was given a home tutor with a girl from another school who was also pregnant and did that for 4 months (2 months before my due date and 2 months after) and then returned to school for a few months before study leave started.

I hope schools nowadays are supportive of young mums who still want an education.

But you lived with your parents and they cared for your son.
That makes a HUGE difference!!!!
I hope you appreciate that

Are you looking forward to being a grandma or is it something you hope is waaayyyy ahead in the future?
Well done you. I wish you well in the future and hope it brings you all the joy you deserve after such a hard start.

Hi OP, I am glad that you were able to live with your parents who provided cc and a safe home. Cannot be over estimated and makes a huge difference

I have a colleague in a similar situation, certainly age wise. I’m in awe of her to be honest. She’s done an amazing job with little help and has a lot to be proud of. So you should be too. It’s not ideal, is it? Nobody should be getting pregnant when they’re a young child and 13 is way too young but you’ve got through and raised what I imagine is a bloody bugger who doesn’t stop eating, drinking and wanting 😆.

No questions from me, just a comment. My mum was 17 when she got married, 18 when she had her first child, so older than you but still very young. I was 34 when I had my first. So from an older mum to a younger mum, I bet you’re a great mum and your son will see what your life has been like and will respect you so much because if it. I bloody adore my mum and if I’m half the mother she is I’d consider my children very lucky. I hate this whole young vs old thing and definitely don’t take part in it. Good luck with whatever your next stage is, you’ve worked hard, now reap the rewards you get from having an adult child. Mine are young adults now and an absolute joy.

How did you find school staff treated you?

What were your priorities for your DS when he was growing up?