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AMA

A Muslim Female in UK Questiontime

242 replies

WhoevenamIinlife · 22/02/2025 23:11

To help those who need educating. Fire away.

OP posts:
WhoevenamIinlife · 23/02/2025 20:51

onetwothreefourfive11 · 23/02/2025 20:35

How do you get the willpower to fast all day for Ramadan?

I need to lose weight but I'm obsessed with food

It's going to be hard this year personally as I have been eating so much more than usual but with anything if you want to do something, you find the will to do it.

OP posts:
BaMamma · 23/02/2025 20:52

WhoevenamIinlife · 23/02/2025 20:49

BaMamma I think you need to take up a hobby rather than trying to goad posters on here. Unless that is your hobby. You come across so hellbent on finding an angle to put Islamic beliefs in the firing line. Your own thread has gone quiet as your intentions are becoming clearer and clearer but stop hijacking this space please. I wish you a peaceful evening of doing something other than writing repetitive posts to get some sort of response from someone who hasn't yet come across you. It's boring now.
Yes Muslims believe Jesus was a prophet and not the son of God - of course that's different to the beliefs from Christianity and Judaism otherwise it would be the same religion no? Just be happy somewhere else please.

Please explain how Jesus could be a Muslim hundreds of years before Islam was invented?

Somepeop · 23/02/2025 20:53

Muslims believe that being Muslim means submitting to the will of God and worshipping Him alone. It’s not just about following the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). We believe that all prophets—including Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus (peace be upon them)—were Muslim because they submitted to God and taught His message of monotheism.

In Islam, every person is born with something called the fitrah, a natural inclination toward believing in one God. So, when we say Jesus was Muslim, we mean that he lived in submission to God, just like all prophets did. It’s less about a specific label and more about the core belief in one God and following His guidance

WhoevenamIinlife · 23/02/2025 20:53

BaMamma · 23/02/2025 20:52

Please explain how Jesus could be a Muslim hundreds of years before Islam was invented?

BaMamma I think you need to take up a hobby rather than trying to goad posters on here. Unless that is your hobby. You come across so hellbent on finding an angle to put Islamic beliefs in the firing line. Your own thread has gone quiet as your intentions are becoming clearer and clearer but stop hijacking this space please. I wish you a peaceful evening of doing something other than writing repetitive posts to get some sort of response from someone who hasn't yet come across you. It's boring now.
Yes Muslims believe Jesus was a prophet and not the son of God - of course that's different to the beliefs from Christianity and Judaism otherwise it would be the same religion no? Just be happy somewhere else please.

OP posts:
Winter2028 · 23/02/2025 20:53

WhoevenamIinlife · 23/02/2025 00:22

I have no issues with Jews. I get anxious when I come across a visible Jew in my daily contact because it's obvious I'm a Muslim and I wonder if they have views about me that I won't get the opportunity to address.

That is sad because there are synagogues which organize lots of interfaith events with mosques includiing me . A lot of Jewish people do have the impression that many Muslims are against the state of Israel which can be problematic for many as many British Jews have family in Israel in addition to deep sentimental feeling for Israel.

mogtheforg3tfulcat · 23/02/2025 20:54

My DD has a Muslim friend at school. She gave DD a present for Christmas. I think it's eid soonish - is that a gift giving occasion and if so, what's an appropriate gift? Just a general toy as you would for a birthday? (I realize this is very ignorant of me but I'd rather ask than get it wrong!)

WhoevenamIinlife · 23/02/2025 20:57

mogtheforg3tfulcat · 23/02/2025 20:54

My DD has a Muslim friend at school. She gave DD a present for Christmas. I think it's eid soonish - is that a gift giving occasion and if so, what's an appropriate gift? Just a general toy as you would for a birthday? (I realize this is very ignorant of me but I'd rather ask than get it wrong!)

Gift whatever you would gift on any other occasion for that aged child.i think it would be near impossible to get that wrong.

OP posts:
ExcessiveNumberOfNinjas · 23/02/2025 20:57

RainingRoses · 23/02/2025 20:36

But you are applying western standards to non-western countries. Before anyone twists my words in any way I do not condone homophobia in any shape or form. But the eastern world generally is behind the western world when it comes to homosexuality. The Islamic world is very anti homosexuality, that’s not in denial, but it’s not a problem that is exclusive to the Islamic world.

That's not because of the difference between east and west though, is it? It's the difference between the very conservative, traditional Islamic mindset which informs the cultures and governments of those countries which largely exist in the east and middle east, compared to the more tolerant and enlightened mindset of western, largely Christian or secular countries. It's not an accident or a coincidence that the less tolerant eastern and middle eastern countries also happen to be Muslim.

Humdingerydoo · 23/02/2025 21:01

BaMamma · 23/02/2025 20:52

Please explain how Jesus could be a Muslim hundreds of years before Islam was invented?

@BaMamma I think it's time to move on. They believe what they believe, they don't need to justify it to anyone else. Religion doesn't always (or ever 🙃) make sense.

You don't have to agree with it, just accept that that's what they believe.

SallyWD · 23/02/2025 21:02

BaMamma · 23/02/2025 20:52

Please explain how Jesus could be a Muslim hundreds of years before Islam was invented?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_in_Islam#:~:text=Jesus%20is%20understood%20to%20have,who%20submits%20to%20God's%20will).

It's explained here under the section entitled Quran. Read from the sentence starting "Jesus is understood to have preached salvation...etc".

RainingRoses · 23/02/2025 21:12

BaMamma · 23/02/2025 20:46

How could Jesus be a Muslim when he was born some 5-600 years before the invention of Islam?

Feel free to Google.

AJ65 · 23/02/2025 21:15

This reply has been deleted

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WhoevenamIinlife · 23/02/2025 21:16

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

salam alaikum

OP posts:
Winter2028 · 23/02/2025 21:22

WhoevenamIinlife · 23/02/2025 00:54

I'm not sure? What are you views on homosexuality?

Would you be against gay marriage and how would you feel if your child is gay.

I left Catholicism for liberal Judaism and the latter's support for gay marriage and equal participation of women in religion convinced me it was actually a religion worthy of the 21st century. I am not gay but to me religion needs to keep up with the times. Do you ever feel Islamic scholars need to update some of their views?

SallyWD · 23/02/2025 21:23

ExcessiveNumberOfNinjas · 23/02/2025 20:57

That's not because of the difference between east and west though, is it? It's the difference between the very conservative, traditional Islamic mindset which informs the cultures and governments of those countries which largely exist in the east and middle east, compared to the more tolerant and enlightened mindset of western, largely Christian or secular countries. It's not an accident or a coincidence that the less tolerant eastern and middle eastern countries also happen to be Muslim.

Edited

We're not that tolerant in other parts of the world. It was only in the late 60s that homosexuality was decriminalised here. It was only in the year 2000 that the age of consent for gay people was lowered to be the same as the age of consent for heterosexuals. Ask gay people in America how they're feeling right now. I can assure you my gay friends in the US aren't feeling very comfortable.
India has only recently decriminalised homosexuality and it remains a taboo to be homosexual in many parts of India. As my Indian DH said "It's just not the done thing".
In Christian countries in Latin America, the vast majority of people believe homosexuality is immoral.
Japan is the only country in the G7 that doesn't legally recognise same sex unions.
In China, although it's legal to be gay, the gay community faces discrimination, and gay activists are frequently jailed.
It's illegal to identify as gay or have gay sex in Ghana, a Christian country.
Homosexuality is seen as a sin in the bible, although fortunately many Christians now reject that, many still do believe it. Speak to some Americans in the bible belt and see what they have to say about homosexuality.
Of course, the situation for gay people is much worse in some Middle Eastern countries (we all know that) but let's not pretend that other countries are so enlightened and tolerant.

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 21:24

marsunin · 23/02/2025 00:37

That's because nowhere in the Quran does it say that a man’s word is worth ten times more than a woman’s. That’s simply not true. The only verse that mentions a difference in testimony in a specific legal context is Surah Al-Baqarah (2:282), which states:

"And bring to witness two witnesses from among your men. And if there are not two men [available], then a man and two women from those whom you accept as witnesses—so that if one of the women errs, the other can remind her..." (Quran 2:282)

This verse is only about financial contracts and does not apply to all testimony. It does not say that a man’s testimony is worth ten times that of a woman’s or that women are less trustworthy. Instead, it simply provides a practical safeguard for accuracy in a field that, at the time, women were less familiar with.

This verse (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:282) is often misunderstood as implying that women are less intelligent or trustworthy than men, but that’s not the case at all. The reasoning behind requiring two female witnesses in financial contracts is practical, not discriminatory—and it makes perfect sense when you look at the historical and social context.

Back in 7th-century Arabia, financial transactions, trade, and business dealings were almost entirely male-dominated fields. Men were out in the markets, negotiating contracts, handling debts, and managing trade routes. Women, on the other hand, were largely focused on family and household responsibilities, which meant they had far less exposure to complex financial agreements. Naturally, someone who isn’t deeply familiar with a subject is more likely to misremember or misunderstand certain details, not because they’re less capable, but simply because they haven’t had as much experience in that field.
That’s exactly why the verse says:
"…so that if one of them errs, the other can remind her."

It’s not saying women are unreliable—it’s recognizing that memory recall is often tied to familiarity and experience. In societies where women weren’t typically involved in business, it made sense to have two of them confirm details with each other to ensure accuracy. This is actually a built-in safeguard, not a statement about value or worth.
And here’s the important part: this rule applies only to financial contracts—not to all testimony. In fact, there are cases in Islamic law where a woman's testimony is completely equal to a man's, or even stronger. For example, in Surah An-Nur (24:6-9), a woman’s word alone can override a man’s accusation in cases of adultery. And let’s not forget that some of the most trusted narrators of Hadith (the sayings of the Prophet) were women, including Aisha (RA), whose testimony is foundational in Islamic scholarship.

Now, fast forward to today: women are just as active in finance, business, and law as men. Many Islamic scholars argue that since the original reasoning was tied to familiarity with financial matters, and that factor has changed, the rule should be applied differently in modern contexts. And in fact, many Muslim-majority countries now recognize women's testimony as fully equal in legal matters.

So, to sum it up: this verse wasn’t about saying a woman’s word is worth less than a man’s. It was about ensuring accuracy in an area where, at the time, women generally had less experience. It was a practical rule designed for fairness, not discrimination. And as societies evolve, the core Islamic principle remains—justice above all.

Also, Islam does not say that women are responsible for men’s lust. In fact, the responsibility falls on men themselves to control their desires, lower their gaze, and act with self-restraint. The idea that women are to blame for men’s inability to control their desires is a misunderstanding of Islamic teachings and goes against what is actually taught in the Quran and Hadith.

The Quran is clear that the first instruction regarding modesty is directed at men. In Surah An-Nur (24:30-31), Allah commands the men to lower their gaze before addressing women:

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do." (Quran 24:30)

Only after this does the Quran instruct women to dress modestly. This shows that the primary responsibility for controlling lustful behavior lies with men. It's a clear call for men to manage their own actions rather than blame others.
Some people claim that Islam’s teachings on modesty in women’s dress imply that men can’t be blamed for their desires if women don’t dress modestly. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Islam does not justify men acting on their desires or harassing women based on how they dress.

The Prophet Muhammad said:
"The strong person is not the one who overpowers others, but the one who controls themselves when angry." (Sahih al-Bukhari 6114, Sahih Muslim 2609)
This includes controlling desires. Islam teaches that men are responsible for their own actions. If a man fails to control himself, he is accountable for his actions, and cannot shift the blame onto women for his lack of self-restraint.
A common Hadith that gets misused to blame women for men’s lust goes like this:
"I have not left behind any trial (fitnah) more harmful to men than women." (Sahih al-Bukhari 5096, Sahih Muslim 2740)
While it’s true that the Prophet acknowledged that desire for the opposite sex is a challenge for many men, this doesn’t mean women are to blame. The word “fitnah” here refers to a test, not something inherently evil. Men’s desires are the test, and they are expected to control them, not blame women for their own lack of control.

The Quran is clear about personal responsibility:
"And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another." (Quran 6:164)
This means that if a man allows himself to act on lustful feelings or engages in inappropriate behavior, he is responsible for his actions. A man cannot say, "She made me do it." That’s a failure to take responsibility for his own desires and actions.
One of the strongest proofs that Islam does not blame women for men’s lust is in the area of sexual assault. In Islam, a woman’s testimony alone is enough in cases of sexual violence. This demonstrates that Islam takes these matters seriously and does not place blame on the victim.
In cases of rape or assault, a woman’s word, along with evidence (like medical reports or injuries), is sufficient for conviction. Requiring multiple witnesses would make it nearly impossible for a victim to find justice, so Islam allows for a woman’s testimony to be enough in these cases. This shows that Islam supports the victim, ensuring justice rather than protecting the perpetrator.

It says so many times and you know it. Hundreds of examples.

"Men are qawwamun in relation to women, according to what God has favored some over others and according to what they spend from their wealth. Righteous women are qanitat, guarding the unseen according to what God has guarded. Those [women] whose nushuz you fear, admonish them, and abandon them in bed, and strike them. If they obey you, do not pursue a strategy against them. Indeed, God is Exalted, Great."

Winter2028 · 23/02/2025 21:31

ExcessiveNumberOfNinjas · 23/02/2025 20:15

That's very true, although currently Israel is the only Jewish state in the world and it is largely accepting and tolerant of LGB people, as are most 'western' and largely Christian countries. I'm sure there are homophobic Christians and Jews among more conservative branches of both religions, but in general they are not in the majority and the laws of those countries protect LGB people, irrespective of how any individuals may feel about it.

Whereas I can't think of any countries in the Islamic world where it's safe and legal to be out as a gay person, with the possible exception of Turkey, and in many of those countries, I am sure you are well aware, it's basically a death sentence.

There are many countries where it is a criminal act to practice homosexuality, and yes it's true that not all of them are Muslim majority countries, but by and large it's the exception to the rule if they are not. Whereas it's very much the exception to the rule that you can be openly gay and safe in a majority Muslim country. I don't think you need me to tell you that there is far less tolerance of practising homosexuals in the Islamic world than there is outside of it.

To be fair the state of israel was set up by secular Jews. They granted the haredi controlled rabbinate control over kosher food (though it is quite easy to get a cheese burger in tel aviv!), marriage and divorce, synagogue building but not more.. so while it is a state for jewish people, it isn't a theocracy. At least not yet. While their democratic institutions are not robust by western standards, they did inherit the British common law system.

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 21:35

Why is it that muslim majority countries have few rights for women and generally no equality and treat women as inferior?

Women remaining chattel of men in this day and age in many countries that practice the religion - how are you okay with it?

Are you okay with polygamy?

If your daughter comes out as a lesbian and decides to move in with a woman, will both continue to be loved and cherished and invited to all family functions? The same for a son?

Winter2028 · 23/02/2025 21:42

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 21:35

Why is it that muslim majority countries have few rights for women and generally no equality and treat women as inferior?

Women remaining chattel of men in this day and age in many countries that practice the religion - how are you okay with it?

Are you okay with polygamy?

If your daughter comes out as a lesbian and decides to move in with a woman, will both continue to be loved and cherished and invited to all family functions? The same for a son?

The world's most dangerous country for women is India and that isn't majority Muslim at all.

A survey conducted by the Thomson Reuters Foundation has ranked India as the world's most dangerous country for women, ahead of Afghanistan, Syria and Saudi Arabia.

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 21:51

Winter2028 · 23/02/2025 21:42

The world's most dangerous country for women is India and that isn't majority Muslim at all.

A survey conducted by the Thomson Reuters Foundation has ranked India as the world's most dangerous country for women, ahead of Afghanistan, Syria and Saudi Arabia.

Winter2028

The brain that you are, it's not what I asked.
Also you are wrong.

ExcessiveNumberOfNinjas · 23/02/2025 21:56

SallyWD · 23/02/2025 21:23

We're not that tolerant in other parts of the world. It was only in the late 60s that homosexuality was decriminalised here. It was only in the year 2000 that the age of consent for gay people was lowered to be the same as the age of consent for heterosexuals. Ask gay people in America how they're feeling right now. I can assure you my gay friends in the US aren't feeling very comfortable.
India has only recently decriminalised homosexuality and it remains a taboo to be homosexual in many parts of India. As my Indian DH said "It's just not the done thing".
In Christian countries in Latin America, the vast majority of people believe homosexuality is immoral.
Japan is the only country in the G7 that doesn't legally recognise same sex unions.
In China, although it's legal to be gay, the gay community faces discrimination, and gay activists are frequently jailed.
It's illegal to identify as gay or have gay sex in Ghana, a Christian country.
Homosexuality is seen as a sin in the bible, although fortunately many Christians now reject that, many still do believe it. Speak to some Americans in the bible belt and see what they have to say about homosexuality.
Of course, the situation for gay people is much worse in some Middle Eastern countries (we all know that) but let's not pretend that other countries are so enlightened and tolerant.

The late 60s was over 50 years ago. The year 2000 was 25 years ago. And yes, in spite of all that progress it's still not progress enough in some countries of the world, or in some very conservative pockets of otherwise tolerant and enlightened countries. But by and large, the non-Islamic world is light years ahead of the Islamic world in terms of open acceptance and tolerance of same sex relationships, and the rights and protections of gay people in law. I think it's a pretty pointless exercise to try and argue otherwise.

As for your friends in America, would I rather be a blue-haired non-binary trans ideologist or drag queen in Trump's America or a low key, minding my own business, trying to fly under the radar gay man in Saudi or Iran? I'll let you work that one out but it's a no brainer.

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 21:56

The 72 virgins the pious good men get rewarded with - where would those virgins come from? Why would good men want them instead of an equal, grown up, experienced partner?
What's in there for those virgins?
How many virgin men do pious women get?

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 21:59

SallyWD

We are not in a race to the bottom

Needmorelego · 23/02/2025 22:01

Random question that popped into my head.
My Dad had some old encyclopedias from when he was a boy - so 1950s - and in the article on Islam it had it that Muslims weren't called Muslims but "Muhammadams" and I remember reading the same in a novel that was set in the 1930s.
When did the name change?

Winter2028 · 23/02/2025 22:05

Pissoffyouall · 23/02/2025 21:51

Winter2028

The brain that you are, it's not what I asked.
Also you are wrong.

What? Granted it is from 2018. My point was treatment of women isn't exclusive to muslim countries. It has to do with patriarchal societies.

The countries where women enjoy the most rights are generally western secular societies (where women fought for their rights) and some east asian countries/cities like Taiwan, HK, Singapore (to a certain extent south Korea) where they copied western economic model in order to grow their economies, leading meaning mass recruitment of women in the workforce and an economic miracle. On the way society was transformed.. most Muslim countries are still poor. The richer muslim countries have oil and rely a lot on expat labour like Dubai and UAE and Saudi Arabia. Exception is malaysia but it isn't governed by sharia law for most things and has a large non muslim population plus they are relatively chill compared with middle eastern muslims, certainly there is high female participation in the workplace. Without women their economies cannot grow sufficiently for them to be on the same tier as western developed countries.