AMA - My Journey to Minimalism

[Verbena17]

Hi 😊
Ask me anything…. about how I went from cluttered house, mind and life to how I started and continued my minimalism journey.

I don’t know if this is something that interests people but if it is, ask away!

How much ‘stuff’ do you have now? What do you mean by minimalist?

Curious, not sure I could do it, but it does appeal

What was the most difficult thing (mentally) to get rid of?
I find anything attached to a memory is just too hard to part with.

Do you live alone? If not how does it affect your family/house mates?

I've tried but find as soon as I get an area decluttered it just gets refilled!

Compared to what we had, I would say we have 2/3rds less.
Everything has been declutterred - each area of our home and the general minimalist approach to not bringing ‘stuff’ back in unless we need it.

However, our adult DCs are not fully minimalist but that’s ok because it’s a continuous journey and they’ll hopefully move out at some stage and then I’ll have a lot less of their stuff too.

DH is pretty much on the same page about getting rid of things and not bringing stuff back into the home we don’t need or want.

Everyone’s definition of minimal is obviously different but for me, it wasn’t only about decluttering stuff. It was totally transforming my mindset about every aspect of our lives. Aside from the physical decluttering, I declutterred my mind and I feel so much better for it. Before, my brain felt mentally knackered pretty much ALL the time. Now, even when my body feels tired, my mind still feels declutterred and full of energy and has much more space for more thoughts.

How much did you put into storage?

Yes I agree. Mentally being attached to my childrens’ toys and clothes was difficult but I was ruthless. Being ruthless (for me anyway)felt empowering and liberating.
Although DD (early 20’s) love ‘stuff’ and buying new stuff like clothes and make up etc, she is really good at getting of stuff from her childhood and so that really helped me to move on.

We’ve kept a few baby outfits that hold sweet memories but only one small suitcase, including baby blankets and first shoes. I felt I could give everything away because to charity shops because it would be helping someone else.

So I’m a stay at home mum with two young adult children both living at home and a husband.

The key to not getting an area refilled again, is to not keep buying more and more storage. You will only refill it.

I don’t think living in a shared house (flat mates/student house etc) is perhaps as easy, especially if in-built storage is lacking.
However, if you can’t find room to put all of your things, it probably means you have too much inventory. Paring down what you have and really thinking what’s necessary is key to not needing as much storage.

Do you mean paid for container type storage?

If yes - ZERO!

I think personality type has a lot to do with how minimal you can be.
So I’ve always been someone who doesn’t place much value on how I look - I have my hair cut twice a year, I wear clothes until they’re no longer fit for wearing, I don’t buy expensive gifts for myself or others. We don’t have lavish holidays or go out very much. That simplistic mindset helped me to be able
to get rid of the stuff.

Our life and way of being is pretty minimal i guess and was before I decided to declutter the house stuff.

How do you get attached to children's toys and clothes? Maybe I have this mindset already, or does it mean that you get rid of everything?...I have kept the hat that each DC was given at birth and their hospital tags and red book but that is it as far as baby momento goes.

What does decluttering your mind mean and how do you do it (give me a mental image of matrix style download)

Why are you a SAHM if your children are adults? It's not the point of the thread, I know, but I'm curious!

How do you cope with presents? And do you think you could have done the same with young children? I feel like it's a constant flow of stuff into my house (party bags, gifts from holiday, birthday presents...) and very few of them are bought by us.

What triggered you to start on the journey? Have you ever chucked anything you regret?

I am also a minimalist and it is amazing for my mind! Like you, we lead a simple life & love to live with less stuff.

Are you very well off? For example I keep some things because I fear I might not be able to buy them again in future?
Do you live in the city (less exposure to weather, more things to do outside the home) or the country (more therefore more stuff needed to cope with it, more home-based entertainment needed)

I had multiple bin bags of baby clothes I couldn’t bear to part with - all their cute little outfits that all held memories.

We had declutterred some stuff over the years anyway - as a military family and moving regularly, we always had a clear out before we left a quarter. In military quarters, you’re not often allowed to use the attic space for storage so we tried to keep it down to what we could store in the garage or wardrobes etc.

But yes - you sound like you have a minimal mindset anyway.
I think though, a lot of people find it hard to declutter as kids grow out of each stage. Toys and clothes overlap, get passed on to siblings and then become redundant. And we just keep them as they were or chuck them and update them. It’s the updating things that’s perhaps not as needed as we think.

Do you have any hobbies or activities that require supplies, and if so, how did you handle that consideration within your decluttering?

🙄
Does it matter what OP calls herself?
SAHM, housewife, “have enough money and don’t need to work” person.
Your question is pretty passive agressive ( ie suggesting she is not in fact SAHM if her children are adults)
No need.

Oh ffs. Your reply is unpleasant, unnecessary and aggressive.
How telling that you read such negative intent.
Plus: don't answer for someone else, and there's no need to be so nasty.
No need 🙄

😬 so for me, it’s been letting go of negative stuff that was making me unhappy. Or worrying constantly about things I cannot change or that have no control over.

A really big thing for me personally was saying “no” more often - being a people pleaser often meant I was agreeing to help with stuff for others when I really didn’t have time due to my own family commitments. I don’t mean I’m now selfish 😂 but I found a good balance between helping others when I could, on my own terms, which meant I felt less stressed. That also meant not berating myself for not getting things done at home on time. Although as a SAHM I realise that I was lucky to have that choice.

I’ve been filling my mind with future dreams of what I want to achieve and adventures I might have; instead of only my present worries and predicaments.
Having that positive mindset really helped when it came to the more physical aspects of decluttering the home.

I think when it comes to getting rid of items you might need ( but might not or even probably won't ) you need to ask, can I afford to buy it again quickly and easily, would I be able to borrow or hire one ( like tool hire) do i have something I can use instead? some people have a version of if I can replace for less than £20 in 20 minutes ie find it online the space is more valuable than the item for other people the times and value would be different, keeping a £800 roof ladder to clean gutters fix a missing slipped tile is different to having 3 spare potato peelers
with sentimental items from my daughter mom etc I have a box for my own memories like school reports, small mementoes etc and a box for my daughter's stuff, anything can go in the box but lids have to close so if it won't then it needs sorting, sometimes a photo of the item helps. I don't keep duplicates or very similar things
for me I try and remember it maybe my grandmother's jug but the jug is not my grandmother
I sorted stuff, then I did a digital and paperwork declutter I keep my email inbox at less than 20 by Friday 5pm, I move stuff to another folder if it needs kept like a recipt or a bill
I have several email folders
I'm about to start on photos not getting rid of proper albums for aparticular holiday but getting rid of duplicates and out of focus and places I can't remember where they are or people I don't know the names off

I worked for a while when my children were younger but now I’m a carer for one ND DC and the other is also neurodivergent. I’m also very lucky that we are able to live off one salary. I don’t mind you asking me that at all 😊.

I actually think that having 2 DCs who are neurodivergent was partly another reason as to why I felt I needed to declutter. The mental stress coping with one child with autism made me want something for me. I wanted a house that was always clean and tidy and with less visual distractions. It always felt like my cup was overflowing so decluttering and living a much more simple life has really helped me to relax. It’s really helped my autistic DC too.

@Verbena17 ok thanks for the explanation, I have no trouble saying 'no' 😁 and although I do put pressure on myself to get things done, it's mainly to try and head off putting things off that then become bigger jobs.
It seems my natural instincts are aligned to what you have had to train yourself to become. Lucky me 🙂

This is really interesting OP TY🙏

I am not at minimalist stage but have been doing a lot of decluttering and sorting, and am definitely seeing benefits. As with so many people, brought on by having to deal with a dead relative’s house, obviously while still grieving

I would like to ask - what thought process do you go through when getting rid of gifts or things you have inherited that you don’t really like?

I am not forcing myself to get rid of things I don’t want to (hence not really minimalist) but struggle with eg jewellery that doesn’t suit me but reminds me of the person wearing it iyswim?

Liking this thread, thanks @Verbena17 !

My question is what do the rooms in your house look like? Eg are they very sparsely furnished, or is there sufficient furniture to fill all the space nicely, but just less stuff on top of / in / sitting around?

Do you have pictures on the walls or keep them clear? (You said you’re a military family so speaking from experience I guess there’s every chance you have pictures of planes / ships / tanks up even if you don’t want them! 😉)