AMA - My Journey to Minimalism

[Verbena17]

Hi 😊
Ask me anything…. about how I went from cluttered house, mind and life to how I started and continued my minimalism journey.

I don’t know if this is something that interests people but if it is, ask away!

For DD I think it will be things like soft toys (that she has on her bed now). Which sounds strange for a young adult but she adores them. And her books, which she loves.

For DS it’s things he remembers from the times at each of the houses we’ve lived in. So DH’s old sweatshirt from the house in 2008 for example or a piece of old manky carpet from this house when we got new a new one 😂

Brilliant indeed, @TeenMeno , and I often think that sort of thing is minimised because it tends to be women doing it all.
I agree with you about over consumption, in every sense, and it's bothering me ever more 👍

@TeenMeno you are amazing and a wonderful person so get rid of the failure letter you don't need that in your life, you are not a failure you are a successful at being a decent and kind human being which not everyone achieves

We are well enough off at the moment that I don’t need to work - which is lucky because im a carer for my autistic son. If I did need to work, it would be difficult being here for him at certain times i need to be.

I can’t think of anything we’ve thrown away that we would worry about if we could afford it in the future. We tend to make do a lot.

Before kids, when we were both working, I loved shopping for home interior stuff and I definitely don’t enjoy it now.

I went into a new home store a few weeks ago with my mum and although I could appreciate how pretty everything was, I felt zero desire to buy any of it - even though it was reasonably priced stuff. I just have no want for things anymore.

Thanks for doing this! If you're still around, my question is - once you're decided what you really "need" (vs want) how do you decide how to go about buying these "necessities"?

For things that aren't immediately perishable/don't have very short time limits for viability - do you go for cheap bulk deals and "stock up", even though you might have limited space to store items bought in bulk, or do you just buy as much as you need by the - week? Month? Other increment? How do you resist the lure of a great deal (on something you need/use regularly) - or do you?

Good question!
So in our house we have a good sized store room where we keep books, loo rolls, coats, paperwork that has to be kept etc, so I do bulk buy some items.
Bottled water for ‘the end of days’ 😂.
Toilet rolls - 45 at a time
Kitchen rolls - 12 at a time
Noodles - a large box

But they're things we do use/need.
Being a minimalist isn’t purely about not buying anything - but keeping what you do buy to necessary items.

So when I decided to minimalise our life, we already had plenty of ‘stuff’ so I didn’t need to go out and buy specific things we needed - is that what you meant?

When it comes to resisting the lure of good deals, I rarely ever go to the shops! I do a food shop online every week and a half and buy clothes and household items online.

Not seeing items sat in front of you is a really good way to resist not buying stuff.

I’m an army brat @Verbena17 so I think I’ve grown up with that minimalist mindset too - moving every year or so and having to fit your things into a certain number of packing boxes focuses the mind from an early age!

Yes for sure! Multiple house moves (think we have had about 12) makes you focus on the most important things in life and that’s obviously not stuff!

What advice would you give to someone who has so much clutter they're struggling to even make a start?!
Would you have been able to do this when your children were small? Mine are extremely resistant to giving anything away!

Do you keep much memorabilia? Do you have a lot of photo albums?

When my children were little I made time to keep their rooms tidy but I kind of did think that buying more and more storage boxes containers/baskets etc was a great idea! It wasn’t! It just meant the stuff that really needed to go was just being dumped in those!

Like someone said up the thread, start with the things that have little emotional value to anybody.

Then with more emotional things like drawings the kids have done, get a folder or box file and pop the really special ones in there.

one thing I find very hard to give up in my birthday and Mother’s Day cards from my children. So instead of stressing about why I’m keeping them, I just store them in two plastic wallets. At some point, I’m going to have to sort through them but the fact they chose the cards they thought I would like and counted out how old I was in the kisses they wrote on, makes my heart smile!

Really think about what you need - so say kitchen stuff for example. Do you really need 27 tea towels or could you slim it down to 8? Could you get rid of the 3 serving dishes you’ve never used in 10 years? Could you go through cupboards and chuck out of date food?
Theyre the easy things and over time, when you get a few moments to yourself, choose something to clear out.

My biggest non minimal issue has always been my ‘admin station’. I have two trays that have certain stuff I need to keep in plus post that needs to be dealt with. Although post is rarely in there nowadays, as we deal with it as soon as it hits the hall floor.

Beauty products are a really easy thing to get rid of too!
In my bathroom i have a shared shower gel with DH that sits on the shower and I have a shampoo and conditioner sitting on shower floor. On the side I have a washbag with toothbrush, paste and moisturiser in. That’s it.
Downstairs i keep a little box with a few make up items in - 1 x liquid foundation, 1 x blusher and 1 mascara. That’s it!

We have about 8 -10 photo albums plus a couple of photos books I’d say.
I chucked a load of similar/duplicate photos.
I might do another photo book soon actually - although we have hardly any photos of DS as he hates having his pic taken.

I am placemarking for inspiration. I was full of good intentions but I'm juggling work, chronic illness AND a terrible cold at the minute so I'm stalling terribly!

Don’t be thinking you’re stalling or failing - see it as this is the time you’re going to be looking after yourself and then you’re going to plan to start decluttering at some point, once you’re better and have some spare time.

How did you find your inner ruthlessness? I know I need this to discard unused toiletries etc. I have clothes I barely wear that came from charity shops but I still feel the need to keep them because they are useful. Ditto random electric cables. Ditto books I finished reading years ago!

1. what types of things did you declutter that made the biggest difference to your space and calm?
2. What did you do with stuff you might need at some point…i have some spare screws that came with our garden furniture and a drainpipe for a washing machine, some nylon. rope and a spare toilet seat…and many many other items in my cupboard. I can’t help feeling that these are ‘useful’ things that as an adulting adult i am the custodian of, although i haven’t touched them since i purchased them.

@bowlingalleyblues - yes, the adulting accessories... I also have things like that, but when I think I'll just get rid of them, I get anxious that I'll need them!

I guess the ruthlessness crept up on me- although I’ve always been quite good at making assertive decisions. Having a DH on military ops when I was left at home with a baby & toddler made me so much stronger. I have no desire to go shopping to buy stuff. I will take my DD for her or my mum to look around but I don’t buy stuff I don’t need.

I love watching decluttering channels and shows like Marie Kondo, Britains Biggest Hoarders, Stacey Solomon, Rémi Clogg etc. I get motivated from only watching people clean or declutter for a few minutes! 😂

For your toiletries - choose 1 bottle each of shampoo and conditioner and 1 shower gel and chuck the rest. If you’ve got almost empty bottles you won’t use, chuck them.
Then do the same for make up.
Have a basic day to day make up selection and then work out what you’ll need for going out /nighttime. Chuck the rest. Obviously if you have excess expensive stuff left, use it up. If you can’t do without 3 different eyeshadows, keep them all. Reduce or increase items as necessary - don’t make yourself feel bad if you’re not ready to chuck things. Decluttering in one huge go can be liberating but it can also be overwhelming and upsetting.

For your clothes, write a list of what you might wear in an average week and start there. Write down what you might wear for holidays/party/ work etc
Pull out all of your clothes and start by chucking out stuff that doesn’t fit or you don’t like and will defo not wear.

Then find clothes that match your lists and pop them back into the cupboard /drawers. Work out roughly how many tops you can live with - be realistic when it comes how often you do laundry. I currently don’t work and so I can do laundry very regularly, mostly live in jeans and basic tops and therefore need less clothes. This will vary for everyone. I currently have one pair of formal trousers if I go out and 2 or 3 of nice top options. That pretty much it - plus I don’t go out every often 😊.

Once you have your staples, add in a few going out outfits and a few warmer winter jumpers etc. Consider if you need 6 different pairs of PJs and 7 navy
T-shirts. That’s how I did it - reduced inventory by asking myself realistic questions; do I love it, will I wear it again in the next few months, does it fit etc.
You’ll soon feel ‘lighter’ in your mind.

The reason people get bogged down with a messy house is because they have too big an inventory. It’s hard work managing a huge inventory.
Once you reduce it right down, everything will feel easier.
Cleaning won’t take as long because you’re not having to tidy stuff away - everything would already have its own place to live.

Interesting thread. I've been decluttering for years. Moving house a few times helps with that. I had kept bills going back years so it was good to shred them all. All my bills are online now. I also had to get rid of my mother's stuff when she died. She only had a 2-bed flat and wasn't a hoarder but it is surprising what you have. Of course, she had a lot of my grandparents things too. I gave so much to charity - a few car loads worth plus the British Heart foundation took a lot of furniture. I've kept a few ornaments of my nan's - three flying swans for the wall like Vera Duckworth had (although she might have had geese) - or was that Ina Sharples?

Since then I've got rid of more and I'm planning on getting rid of more. So much is my son's stuff - a bag full each of skiing and camping stuff (he told me yesterday I can sell the skiing stuff so that'll be one big bag less). I've got perhaps a box of papers I can shred. When I moved I had a big box of glass lightshades - I'm going to get rid of two them to the charity shop soon.

I find the second or third go around more is got rid of. I hang on to things and then my brain just says that can now go. I think a lot of us have reasons to hang on to things - I know I do - an unhappy childhood meant I bought things for a future home/happier life, but then you realise as you get older and see it for what it is that you don't need these things and in fact they can be making you unhappy. I've a tiny kitchen yet most of the cupboards are empty as I've got rid of things and just have the bare basics. Sometimes, yes, I make a mistake and buy something but I'm trying not to do that as I then get rid of it at a later stage without having actually used it much. I don't want to leave a mess for my son so I'm trying to get things in order so it is easy on him. I have thought about putting a letter next to the will, saying something like anything in the laundry basket bin; any clothing hanging up put in a bag and take to the charity shop; get rid of furniture to charity unless you want to keep something; get rid of all ornaments/pictures to charity unless you want something; shred paperwork after going through it etc. Sorry to waffle on but it interests me and I've found it a process over the years.

1. I would say bed linen, junk drawers including bits of toys from the kids I’d shoved in them- random stuff like one dice from game we didn’t own anymore, a hairbrush from a Barbie, a box of conkers that DS collected that I was NEVER allowed to get rid of…..ever! Just various pieces of rubbish we didn’t need. I also moved any kids stuff out of the lounge! That made a big difference to feeling more relaxed in the evenings.
2. So for stuff we might need, DIY stuff went into my DH’s super tidy garage - he has a load of wall fitted boxes, drawers, tool boxes etc - all neatly fitted into the space to maximise storage for all his man stuff. We have a utility room so things like cleaning products i didn’t use regularly but needed (carpet cleaner etc) went under the sink. Only things I use daily go or weekly go under the kitchen sink - keeping it clutter free.

Things like bed screws, spare parts for dyson etc, all got put in their own places. Screws would live in little labelled bags in pots in garage or be taped to the item they go with. In my kitchen ‘junk’ drawer, i have a box for paper clips, safety pins, bike lock keys and another for sticky tape, a pencil case for storing ribbon for gifts, a box for the tape measure and hole punch. In my medicine drawer, I’ve got tubs for pain relief tablets, a tub for antihistamine meds, a tub for plasters etc.

I also enjoy minimalist Youtube vlogs - A to Zen Life, some of Beat the Bush - he is a minimalist but doesn't often post and sometimes posts on electricals, which I don't find interesting. I watch a lot of frugal vlogs too.

@KarlaKK your post made me cry! I really liked the thing you said about your brain just knowing it can let something go. That’s exactly what it’s been like for me in overdrive over the past 2 years specifically. I’ve felt able to just let stuff go but there was a time I found it harder.

Thats good you have an ongoing plan. Writing notes to leave in years into the future is a sad but practical idea too.

I thought I was a minimalist….then I moved house. I still have so much stuff! For me, the important thing has been finding places for things and not overfilling cupboards or shelves. Add a label and the kids can tidy up.

Yes that’s true! If we had to move house again, I don’t think we would need to declutter again. Maybe a slight whip round but nothing much at all….well, except for DD’s room 😬