AMA - My Journey to Minimalism

[Verbena17]

Hi 😊
Ask me anything…. about how I went from cluttered house, mind and life to how I started and continued my minimalism journey.

I don’t know if this is something that interests people but if it is, ask away!

You could start a fight in an empty room. Take some time out for self-reflection - might be an idea. Yes, I know I'm being condescending here.

This was the best thread I'd read in a long time until the last page or so. Such a shame when the OP was sharing really interesting information, regardless of exactly what the word for that is. Anyway, thanks OP.

I’ve never said I’m a minimalist… only given that I’m living off not a lot of money, by OP’s definition, I am one, but not by choice. If I had lots of money would I suddenly turn into a huge consumer? I don’t think I would. Besides claiming that I’m not a minimalist because I own two pairs of £90 shoes is a bit trite of you.

OP’s claims of minimalism is a course of debate for me, which on a public forum is something happens. It does bother me slightly when people with financial security talk about things poorer people have to deal with, but have no choice in. You’ve taken a particular dislike to my comments which you are well within your rights to do so…let’s leave it at that.

@Verbena17 I've very much enjoyed your posts. Thanks for sharing.

You said you're still on the journey. Do you think this sort of thing is ever done? If yes, how long do you think it will take you (from start to 'finish'?

Interesting read OP, thanks.

I have no interest in aiming for minimalism, I like stuff too much! But I would like to get control where our house currently feels rather out of control. Not helped by having helped my parents clear their house recently to move - I resisted a lot but inevitably some bits came to us! I also have young kids, one of whom struggles to let go of the smallest piece of paper…

I know exactly what we have. Too much “it might be useful one day” stuff or “but it’s good quality” stuff! I think we just need to grit our teeth and get rid. No one needs as many blank notebooks as we have… Also too many ill-fitting clothes, which probably wouldn’t even suit me if I did loose weight!

I am desperate to be a minimalist. I watch the minimal mom on YouTube all the time. One day I’ll get there and will get better at realising that I DON’T NEED ALL THE STUFF.

there are differnt types of minimalism

1.Aesthetic, some just like the aesthetic of pared down simple often monochromatic interiors and may appy the same to clothes this is not necessarily frugal at all it could be very expensive all cashmere and designer

2, essentialism distinguishing between wants and needs and only having the bare necessities of life, for some this is a choice; for many it is just the result of poverty or extreme poverty

3, nomadic minimalism people moving frequently or travelling so managing with what they can carry may or may not be poor could be a rich kid on a gap year or someone constantly on the move for seasonal jobs

4, eco minimalism to make the least impacton the planet so the principles govern the minimalism often vegan and like to try and get things secondhand or thrifted if possible

5, frugal minmalism trying to spend less this doesn't always mean buying the cheapest but best value ( like buying decent shoes that will last to save buying twice etc) and mending repairing things before replacing often leads to fewer things but it is not the starting point

6, mindful minimalism from marie Kondo only keeping what makes you happy or joyfula bit like willima Morris have nothing in your house that you do not believe to be beautiful or useful.likes order a lack of chaos and space

7, digital minimlaism clears email in box minimal consumption of social media, doesn't keep loads of photos documents or music on devices and regualrly deletes stuff the tidy desk person

most people are not all 7 but a blend

personally in order 6, 5 and 7 a bit of 4 but am not vegetarian and have a car but like things to last and repair and hate waste; also a bit of 1 but not the monochrome bit asalthough I do not have many clothes but they a variety of colours red and green and various other colours and I would never arrange my books by colour or height but by subject and I would never buy art to match my sofa but something I liked and has meaning

with kids I think instead of asking can you throw this picture ask them to choose their 3, 5, 10 favourites ( you decide the number) most of the joy of crafting and painting with kids is in the making not the keeping so if they do 4 pictures of houses you say which one do we keep if they say all of them just calmly say there is not space for all just choose one,

Pretty sure I said that minimalism is totally different for everybody. I did not define it. Your version of minimalism wouldn’t be the same as mine and so on.

It was about AMA about MY journey….which of course will be different to everybody else’s.

Nowhere did I say people should do what I’m doing or think like me or behave like me.
Financially speaking, minimalism for me has absolutely nothing to do with how much money we have.

Linking poverty with minimalism doesn’t really match up, because there are plenty of lower income families who have tons of ‘stuff’. Hence why I don’t think minimalism is about money - it’s a way of being. If DH and I were millionaires (which we are defo not), we still wouldn’t splurge. I would still be frugal and still want to live an uncluttered life; physically and emotionally.

‘Minimalism as a life philosophy boils down to living a simple life with fewer but carefully selected things, fewer commitments and less noise to, instead, gain more clarity on the things that truly matter, more time, and more calm. Minimalism as a life philosophy doesn’t require you to give away all of your belongings and renounce all worldly things. Instead, it encourages you to be less attached to objects, focus on the ones that have a real value, as well as the people and events in your life that are important to you. The end result is not restriction, but freedom.’ (Authentic Beauty Concept).

So further up the thread I said to someone that if we ever moved house again I don’t think I’d need to declutter again, and that’s true. However, I don’t think the journey will ever totally finish because our lives are forever evolving.

Hopefully one day, our children will move away and live their own lives if they’re able and at that point, i will have to reconsider how our home and way of living works for DH and I.

I know what it’s like to have multiple sizes of clothing - in case I lose weight!

That’s the reason I haven’t fully declutterred my wardrobe - I’m always keen to keep good quality stuff in there that I can wear should my weight go back down.

She’s brilliant isn’t she?!
I don’t actually watch her as often anymore - and the reason being is because she has taught pretty much all i needed to know. I do still watch her so as to catch up on their life but the minimalist stuff not so much - because her ‘tools’ to help get to the stage I’m at were enough. I can continue on my own.

@Cottagecheeseisnotcheese that list of different types of minimalism is brilliant - thanks!
I think I’m 1 (not monochrome though), 2, 5, 6 and some of 7 (I clear emails as soon as they ping to the inbox), have designated email folders that are updated regularly etc)

I'm sick to the back teeth of the cluttered house = cluttered mind mantra. Some people aren't bothered by it at all. You sound a bit evangelical OP - I hope you accept different strokes for different folks?

Yes, and she’s also really likeable. I feel that she is coming from a place where she totally gets it, and just wants everyone to have a better quality of life through owning less crap.

Whoah! She’s not preaching. She’s doing an AMA.

Why? I don't want to be rude, but you sound really zealous about having as little as possible in your life. "We don't go on lavish holidays, we don't go out much..." you sound as though you consider it something to be proud of to do and have...less. Is it environmental concerns about waste and consumption? It sounds deeper than that somehow. Almost as though you would like to disappear without a trace

Not entirely sure how you got all that from my posts but oh well!
No, it’s not environmental concerns although things like fast fashion, human slavery, soil depletion & deforestation are important concerns i have.

It’s not deep at all (for me). It’s about wanting to live a more simple life. That’s it. I’m doing it for anyone else really - just my little family. Buying less just because we don’t need tons of stuff.
Having enough headspace that I can organise and plan according to our needs, instead of getting depressed or overwhelmed because I can’t manage it all.

Nobody wants to disappear without a trace here!

For us, parenting children with additional needs is totally exhausting and we feel that in order to have enough energy to best support them, our life needed paring down to a much less overwhelming one.

Christmas!
It was harder when the kids were younger balancing competing relatives with who bought the biggest, noisiest version of a type of thing(no one needs multiple toy kitchens) we already had. With teens, everyone has calmed down.

How does Christmas and the social obligation of gifting and recieving make you feel?

I do try to buy gifts that i know what the person wants and so it’s not just getting any old thing, or I give them something food or beauty/toiletries - something they will use up and not have to keep.

For myself, I tell DH either not to get me something or get me something little like shampoo or a food gift. I didn’t used to like the idea of vouchers and thought it was uninspiring but actually, it does mean that someone can buy what they do actually want.

Just wanted to let the OP know that you inspired me to start today.

Thank you @Verbena17

Thank you for this. I try to be minimalist, in my case I’m naturally untidy and clutter blind. At the moment my main challenge is trying to limit items coming into the house.

Ahh thanks, that’s brilliant! I’ve only just seen this.
How did you get on?

And that is another great way to start.

For most people i think decluttering doesn’t always the biggest difference - it’s the huge mental change of not bringing in the usual stuff you used to.

For me anyway- it’s made a really positive permanent change to our family life.

When there’s clutter all over without a home for each item, you kind of stand there thinking ‘where shall I just shove this?’ But once you have a lot less, extra stuff coming into your home and you do manage to declutter a good amount of things, when you do get something to put away, you can easily know straight away where to put it quickly. It’s great if the kids know where things are supposed to live as well.

Your life sounds rather joyless, to me, OP. Not because you don’t buy lots of things, but because your life sounds as if it’s largely been about other people — moving around with a forces spouse in temporary accommodation, a longtime SAHM, carer to an adult DC. The whole ‘we go out for dinner four times a year’ makes you sound quite isolated. Is it just that obsessive decluttering has become your hobby?