I HAVE TOTALLY STUFFED UP MY LIFE

[StillNoSense]

Terrible background and growing up
No confidence in own abilities
Thought I’d never get a boyfriend
Bullied at school
Thought I was ugly
Tried to start relationships with sports stars and actors
Abused by a boy band member though I walked right into it
Married someone within weeks though I knew there were red flags but someone wanted me so I jumped
Wasn’t happy and tried to escape and had a few chaste dates with another man, husband found out and beat me up and never let me forget my misdemeanours
Looked for a knight in shining armour to get me out
Constantly in debt but on the way out of it
Snakes and ladders with houses because of picking wrong men and careers through picking wrong jobs
Upset when others get on in career
Started relationship with married man went on for years knew it was wrong but felt guilty ending it
Slept with someone because I felt guilty and sorry for him and got pregnant and terminated it
Married man left me because I was a cheat and then policed me
Fell in love with one of my students and made an idiot of myself
Spent loads of money on psychics
I’m a total STUFF UP

Ask me anything about it!

What's your favourite biscuit?

Why did you pick a married bloke?

So, what do you want to do now?

What does not stuffing up look like to you?

Is a jaffa cake a biscuit?

How did you approach the sports stars and actors? Fan letters, hanging out in certain clubs or outside studios? Sounds reasonable enough to me, as most young girls don't want to go out with the spotty boys they know, and having a boyfriend seems like the be all and end all.

Have you forgiven yourself for all this? Be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes.

No you haven't messed up your life, I actually don't think any of this stuff is your fault.

Well...

What would happiness, or maybe contentment, look like to you?

What happened with your student?

Why psychics? (Advice - don't throw your money and your time away like that!).

How old are you?

Would you make the same mistakes again?

You are guilty of making poor life choices in the past. But you now recognise the patterns of your behaviour but it's now all been and gone and you have the chance to wake up tomorrow and draw a line under the past and make the right choices from now on.

You're intelligent otherwise you would not be able to recognise all that has gone on and you'd just be blundering through life making poor decisions forever more.

Imagine your life so far is a half filled jug of water that is now stagnant.

Picture yourself holding the jug up and looking at the murky water and then pouring it all down the sink.

The jug is empty. You can now choose to fill it with clean and sparkling water and lead your life with good intentions and choosing carefully the kind of people you want to be part of your life going onwards.

People that are kind and have your best interests at heart.

You might make the odd mistake along the way, that's life, but pick yourself up and firmly close that door and carry on with your journey, inwards and upwards.

When you're feeling low, listen to this and start each day afresh.

%3D%3D

“Fell in love with one of my students”. That sounds really worrying

How old are you?

What do you teach?

Where did you meet all the sports stars and actors?

I think it’s you who needs to be asking the questions of yourself , perhaps getting therapy, being less hard on yourself and recognising the reason for the behaviours and looking to change them.

Who was the boyband member?

<prays it's not Harry Styles>

OP, kindly, I can’t imagine that posting this and reading some of the replies you are likely to get are going to be any good for your mental health. ❤️

As it's anonymous, what boy band member?

Obviously she is not going to add to her poor life decisions and name the man. And if she did this would be pulled pretty quickly.

I can't help but agree with WetBandits, this thread is more likely to do you harm than good. Get whatever you want off your chest, but don't use it as an excuse to beat yourself up some more, and take comments from internet randoms like us with a big pinch of salt.

@TuckingFerrible Fox's Half Coated Milk Chocolate Cookies. You should try some.

@HelloDenise I don't know, he showed me some attention when I was feeling crap. No excuses I know. I hate myself for it.

@ThreeEggOmlette

Not stuffing up: Going to university after A levels, getting a good degree, making decent friends. Choosing a career and independence. Realising when someone isn't right, that you don't dig deeper.

Now I want to get financially straight and have a decent quiet life.

@DoreenonTill8 I think it is!

Hating yourself just leaves you open to being vulnerable & making poor choices again in the future.

Life has not been kind to you.

Please start making choices which nourish you, for your own sake, because you deserve the life you dream of xx

@Brexile I fancied the band member but didn't really like their music. This was pre-internet and smartphone days. I found out where they were on tour before they came to my town. I rang the stage door phone number and asked to speak to one of the other band members who wasn't as good looking (in my teenage opinion). I told him my friends and I would like to meet them and he told us which hotel they were staying in. After the concert I went along and got chatting. The one I liked put his arm around me and invited me along with them to a club. When we got back he invited me to his room for a drink. He expected sex.

I fancied the sports star on the Olympics. He was fairly local. I tracked down his coach and got in touch with him but chickened out of talking to the guy I liked Years later I found him online and went to see him in a race. I spoke to him and chatted. Later I messaged him but he blocked me.

This made me feel really horrible.

@StedeBonnet I haven't because I think I don't deserve good things and I look at what I could have achieved if I hadn't been so stupid with my life choices.