@StillNoSense I just want to give you a hug. It's 3:15am I'm writing this to you so forgive me, it might be all over the place.
I also have adhd and I think I'd have been given a BPD diagnosis had I been honest with professionals about my behaviour.
My questions are do you have a support network?
Do you understand that whilst taking accountability for your actions is good, not giving your traumas and emotional instability some blame is also unhealthy, because you're almost putting yourself up for a public flogging, it's really like self harm because the things you've done are a consequence of being mentally unwell. But you're inviting strangers to attack your bad choices that you've likely made when having episodes of extreme uncertainty.
I grew up full of trauma and did some bad things, drugs, used sex to get attention and feel loved, put myself in the most dangerous situations and laughed it off, blamed myself for ending up assaulted because I'd chosen to drink excessively and walk around the park 3am with ear phones in, that kind of thing. Do you blame yourself for bad things people did to you, simply because you don't value yourself?
When did your extreme behaviour start?
Are you aware lots of ND women especially are excellent at sleuthing but also have a tendency to hyperfocus and it can become stalkery? Even excessively checking social media etc
Do you think, with hindsight growing up when things didn't make sense to your little nd brain that you were made to feel stupid from very young? Apparently adhd children receive over 20,000 pieces of more of negative feedback that NT kids do.
What's the plan moving forward? 💐