I run a LGBT Pride: AMA

[lgbtpride]

Long time lurker but have NC for this.

I run an LGBT Pride event. I want to deal with some of the nonsense theories that we welcome pedophiles or have banned lesbians.

Ask me anything. (Disclaimer: I won't answer anything specific that might out me.)

Inclusive of everyone except lesbians who don't want to have sex with men?

I don't know where you're talking about but at London and Manchester and Brighton we had bi and trans groups at Pride in the 1990s - alongside the HIV AIDS heroes.

The acronym developed in the 2000s/2010s, yes, but the groups were there.

I think it's both a political protest and a celebration.(I think it always has been!)

What are you protesting? What is the message? As per my other message - Pride rose out of homophobic laws and lack of equality compounded by S29 and AIDS/HIV. What is the protest in 2023? Genuine question.

Have you ever asked someone to not be involved because of their clothing.

I'll give the same answer as earlier.

Pride began because people demanded we were hidden. Some people still think that. We can only marry someone of the same sex in around 30 countries. In 12 countries male homosexuals can be put to death and in more than 70 they can be jailed.

Didn't say that GNC/Trans/Drag weren't there - but it was Gay Pride - not LGBT.

Yes

Just to return to the kink/fetish topic (wearying, I'm sure, but it's a parenting forum so I'm sure you'll understand the interest), do you inform parents that your event may include sights/themes that are not necessarily child friendly? I ask just because I think some parents aren't clueful (joycean!) and because I think people are sometimes misled as to the nature of events.

Also, have you seen incidents from international events that make your heart sink a bit?

For clarity, I think it's fine to have child unfriendly events that include adult sexual themes as long as children are strongly discouraged.

Yes we have a prominent content warning on our website and on all pages about our specific events.

I have seen Pride events on social media (abroad) that go further than we would allow, yes, but there may also be cultural differences at play.

Thanks for your answer.

Why do you welcome fetish and link? What’s that got to do with same sex attraction? Don’t you see how that makes particularly gay men a target for being lumped in with perverts?

How far do you welcome fetish and kink? Would your group be supportive of sex offenders and pedophiles attending your events and campaigning for acceptance? Whilst they may be campaigning within the law, it is distasteful and alienating to the general public and harmful to the cause.

In regards to abolishing the "pedophile myth", there is a very vocal minority who do indeed consider their behaviour a fetish and believe they should be accepted for their behaviour.

This is about same sex attraction. Not fetish, kink or identity.

Fetish and kink have been at Pride since the 1970s: of this there is photographic evidence. The only difference today is that it's named.

Pedophile groups are not welcome and would be removed if they appeared. Of course, in the same way we don't ask every participant their sexuality, we also don't ask for a DBS check. That's why we have such a strong safeguarding policy and team in place.

Don't be so sure about that you don't talk for my younger self.

What makes a good ally at pride (and generally)?

Generally I say to come and engage, have fun, dance (etc etc, depending on the event) but most important remember it's not your event. Give space to the LGBT+ community.

Go to a lecture or a seminar and learn something, and tell your friends afterwards. Honestly, the abuses people face around the world have really opened my (crying) eyes.

The absolute worst thing is hen parties gatecrashing carrying inflatable cocks. I know lots of Prides have the same issue.

Come, enjoy, but stay in your lane.

I'm a 40 year old woman and it makes me uncomfortable. I think kink and fetishism would likely be causing many young females to self exclude. Sexual orientation is about who you love, something you should not have to hide. Kink and fetishism about what you do in the bedroom, which should be a private matter. I don't think they really belong together.

Fetish and kink being a longstanding feature of pride doesn’t make those things right in 2023. “That’s how it’s always been” isn’t a get out of jail card especially for public events which have increasingly been badged as family friendly.

Do you put "we welcome fetish and kink" in your local authority and National Lottery applications?

I completely understand the need for Pride. To be able to say ‘I am in love with my same sex partner and I want the same rights as heterosexual people’ is hugely important.

However, I think in recent years it has become diluted with loads of other groups. Someone can be in a relationship that has no prejudice like being gay yet because they like to have sex dressed in a certain way they get to join in.

I know older gay friends, who lived through Section 28 and dreadful prejudice now stay away from Pride as it’s not about them.

We don't say we are family friendly. I know other Prides so. We warn parents that kink and fetish may be on display.

It's in our mission statement so yes.

Bullshit. In the 90s the big controversy was adding the “B” to LGB. There might have been transvestites in attendance but there was no official recognition of the TQ

Can inflatable cocks not fall under the “fetish and kink” umbrella?

Theres so much gatekeeping in the community, it’s difficult to know what’s allowed, encouraged, and what crosses the line.