Hello, I'm a TRA - ask me anything

[AlphaTransWoman]

Good evening,

I'm a transgender rights advocate. I say "advocate" rather than "activist" because I believe in constructive debate and consensus building rather than the hostile, shouty kind of activism that gets us nowhere.

I am here because I am genuinely interested in seeing if there is some kind of compromise that can be reached between pro trans and gender critical views. Obviously this is difficult because we may disagree about something pretty fundamental. I feel passionately that trans women are women (at least in the psychological and social sense), so there's an obvious divide if you do not.

The question is, can we find ways to co-exist and find an acceptable way forward on some of the difficult issues that arise around trans acceptance? So I'm happy to have a go answering anything you care to ask in good faith. Who knows, we might even make some progress.

(sorry for spamming the thread, it's easier to answer as i go along)

@AlphaTransWoman Just stop.

You may be right. Perhaps the idea of people changing social gender because they are unhappy with the gendered role associated with their birth sex is the death rattle of the gendered society?

WHAT DID I JUST READ? you know 2nd wave feminists REALLY thought we'd put that to bed. What with winning equal pay, and getting more women into places of power and accountability. But you lot come along, with your bad wigs, fake boobs, and make up applied over a 5 o'clock shadow and spout absolute piffle of the sort that being forced to remove your dress would be detransitioning you against your will. (am now forced to assume that your night attire is a baby-doll type thing rather than a chin to toes wynciette nightie)

You are outrageous (and if this is a steel man? not entirely convincing) as much as you are pathetically trying to convince us that sex is in our minds. Well, I'Ll tell you what. Go to a talk by Hibo Wadare. And tell her to go back to where she was born and tell the girls to identify out of FGM.

You might as well embrace transvestism, because you’re really terrible at womaning. Really bad.

I’m sure you have people around you who tell you you’re gorgeous! Fabulous! Etc. Right?

They’re just #beingkind

No-one really thinks you’re actually anything other than a transwoman.

There’s a transwoman in an FB beauty product group that I belong to. This person has used this group, which is just about the make-up, to be really entitled and male, and post about their own life. So, so, gender (male) normative. We see it a mile off, just like this thread.

They’re obviously a male-bodied person, because in spite of the make-up (slightly too heavily applied), they have a male face, obvious (shaved) facial hair, and more than a hint of male-pattern baldness, in spite of trying to grow their hair long.

Anyway, apropos of nothing, they’ve shared photos of themselves with their new - as you would say - ‘set’ of breasts, courtesy of a Thai surgeon.

The photos are in a pose that no actual woman outside of porn / FHM / Maxim would make - skimpy top, no bra, arms above their head, and a ‘deductive’ look at the camera. Absolutely hilarious.

They’re fooling no-one, because as ever, these people don’t actually behave, not look, like women. In spite of what the nice, kind people around them might say to them.

You can continue to kid yourself. You might as well. You’re not actually fooling anyone else.

"The choice of alpha in your username is telling as this thread is all about you and how you feel and no understanding or taking on board what it is like to be a woman"

Yes, I've thought this from the off. Alpha seems a strange choice from one who purports feeling distressed at being male.

You don't get to be born in the wrong body. To make that claim is a insult to every one of us with disfigurement or disability.

But you claimed not wearing a dress would cause you to "detransition". So it's literally the clothes and stick on boobs that you imagine makes you female.
A woman costume, that you literally dress up in.

Let’s have a quick ‘reasonableness’ review;

OP believes that where possible TW should not be in women’s single-sex spaces or sports, and there should be 3rd spaces to support this.
However, OP dies believe that it’s better for TW to use women’s or disabled toilets where the only alternative is the men’s

OP does not want to share such space with obvious males, despite the lack of evidence that this is in any way dangerous, but even tho OP recognises they look obviously male, they still feel entitled to use the women’s toilets “if necessary” perhaps (early in the thread?) recognising that this might be disturbing for women 🤔

OP thinks that it is fine to assume that most women will share a set of personality traits. These include being less competitive, less rational, more emotional and more empathetic than most men. Women are also more concerned about their appearance, like to look pretty, and are less confident, and are less likely to want to take on a leadership role.

Women are also better suited to their societal ‘gender role’ - so that will be cleaning, cooking, domestic organisation and caring roles then. Notably, no roles which require the highest levels of education

ok, I thought I’d try to be reasonable, but it doesn’t look very reasonable to me. Have I been fair OP? If so, does it seem reasonable to you?

You forgot that we should all be flattered at his assessment of generic woman and grateful for his admiration.

I think it’s really coming down to liking having breasts and silky shirts? <boggle>

grateful

It's really obvious he thinks we should all be grateful to him for wanting to be our ally in campaigning for third spaces.

He never did answer the question about why he would feel safe in a third space toilet when transphobes can easily dress up and enter those spaces and a cubicle door would be no barrier to their desire for violence (see men who "transition" to get access to women in prisons).

I think fundamentally if you are male, physically stronger, the need for physical safety isn’t as focused as it is for women so his “worry” feelings haven’t been alerted to third space potential threats. I suppose it’s the difference between growing up female and wearing a dress.

Yes, exactly that, which I think is why he's avoided answering the question - it just wasn't on his radar as a biological male that there could be a threat from determined transphobes because his previous lived experience as a man would probably never alert him to that possibility.

But if he's always had a female brain that wouldn't be the case. Personally, I think he's just jumped on the men in toilets are to be feared bandwagon to forge faux solidarity with biological women. As in, men in toilets are to be feared, therefore I'll fear them, too.

You don't get it, do you, @AlphaTransWoman! I was saying that gendered roles in society ARE a bad thing - they have constrained and restricted the lives of women for centuries, and only in recent decades have we fought free of them (not completely, but to a reasonable extent), and I deeply resent the trans rights ideology that wants to take women back to the restrictions we have fought so long and hard to be free from!!

Where do the 1% fit? Well - I certainly don't think that language, public policy and women's rights should be completely and radically reformed to cater solely to the needs of the 1%, which is what it feels like right now!

I'm sure they are fine for the 99% of the population who feel aligned with the sex of their body.

Ah! I genuinely didn't realise it needed actually explaining to you, someone who suffered because of gendered roles, that gendered roles cause suffering. They do! For so so many others! Oh god, I didn't realise you thought that made you unique?!

Lots of things you are "sure" about that are incorrect. It's eye-opening that you've never come across a woman or man complaining about patriarchal expectations!

I'm not convinced that men telling women they are they are naturally more agreeable, and then forcing them to accept that female isnt biology but a set of personality traits, is the way to demonstrate that those said men are women. Isnt that attitude the opposite of agreeableness?

OP doesn't display any of the traits he's designated as 'female' so not sure how that fits with his idea that his traits make him 'female'.

Anyway, OP is just one in a long, long, loooong parade of men who have come here to mansplain how they are 'womaning' and, although we patiently and repeatedly ask the same questions, we always get the same answers.

Not one of the many, many visitors to this site have been able to offer anything more than hair, clothes and makeup.

The only good thing that ever comes out of these threads is that their wives often end up getting the help and support they need to leave these types of relationships.

Not one of the many, many visitors to this site have been able to offer anything more than hair, clothes and makeup.

Don't forget, the OP has added a set of breasts to the list of must haves...!

But they never lose the pee pee. Not that womanly, oh no, that's just a step too far.

Sorry I can't get past

Wearing a dress made me euphoric (paraphrase) therefore I'm a woman, therefore I'll use the women's facility (another paraphrase)

The OP sounds exactly like any other AGP/Crossdresser.
"ooh.. Just so, so exciting wearing a frilly frock, getting a set of my very own titties, people referring to me as a she, gasp, my hard on penis so so loves it" it's all straight out of AGP central. We can all see through it now. Now we've reached page 1001.

Even if they have had their penis removed and made into a neo vagina (that can’t keep itself clean or patent, or lubricate itself like a real one can - but I digress), I am sure they are getting a mental boner from the ‘euphoria’, @Circumferences.

I did not say that gendered roles in society were a bad thing. I'm sure they are fine for the 99% of the population who feel aligned with the sex of their body.

Have you not understood what people have been saying?! No, gender roles are not a good thing. Society was finally very slowly loosening and beginning to reject them until TRAs came along and decided that gender roles and gender stereotypes were actually great, and that instead of getting rid of them we should use them as an actual basis to categorise people.

Ffs! We have gone from 'If you're a woman you have to wear dresses' to 'Actually, maybe women don't have to wear dresses, and maybe it might be ok if men do...' to 'If you wear dresses you must be a woman'. Surely anyone with half a brain can see that the second one is the progressive attitude, and that the 3rd is actually much closer to the 1st. We have gone backwards.

Too many of the things that @AlphaTransWoman thinks are good things - gendered roles in society, female biology, to name but two, are things which most women know are regressive, restrictive and bad for women. This clearly demonstrates the OP’s utter lack of understanding of what it really feels like to be a woman.

Base your own character on whatever you want, @AlphaTransWoman, but if you truly want to support women and feminism, for the love of all that is holy, STOP trying to force women back to the 1950s!

Sadly I don’t think you do want to support women or feminism - you want to support and further an ideology that seeks to replace our words, redefine our very being and colonise everything we have fought so long and hard for.

OP doesn't display any of the traits he's designated as 'female' so not sure how that fits with his idea that his traits make him 'female'.

I disagree, Mr Hochhauser...
OP thinks being less rational is proof that you have a 'female mind'.

And is sure that gendered expectations like these 'are fine'.

that's what transgenderism is

oh and a liking for being sexually submissive among men who enjoy role playing as women in general too

this guy fully buys into sexist stereotypes. he's an MRA in a skirt. I really hope his wife has support

And of course, his wife isn’t a lesbian, she’s a heterosexual woman, lumbered with him.

I agree - I hope she has support.

I disagree, Mr Hochhauser...

😁