Hello, I'm a TRA - ask me anything

[AlphaTransWoman]

Good evening,

I'm a transgender rights advocate. I say "advocate" rather than "activist" because I believe in constructive debate and consensus building rather than the hostile, shouty kind of activism that gets us nowhere.

I am here because I am genuinely interested in seeing if there is some kind of compromise that can be reached between pro trans and gender critical views. Obviously this is difficult because we may disagree about something pretty fundamental. I feel passionately that trans women are women (at least in the psychological and social sense), so there's an obvious divide if you do not.

The question is, can we find ways to co-exist and find an acceptable way forward on some of the difficult issues that arise around trans acceptance? So I'm happy to have a go answering anything you care to ask in good faith. Who knows, we might even make some progress.

I have to wear obviously feminine clothing all the time in order to signal that I am presenting as female to avoid accidental misgendering which I find very distressing.

This is either hysterical or tragic depending whether the OPs genuine or not. I'm back to thinking definitely not after his last few posts.

Anyway.

Surely with the right kind of feminine trousers, a sparkly top, make up, and your set of breasts, you'll look like a transwoman anyway. So no misgendering required.

You just don't get it do you? Most women don't feel fortunate to be'in possession' of a female body. The expectations and treatment that go along with that might seem desirable to you but that's because you've no idea what it's like.

You are doing the equivalent of telling a black person how lucky they are to have dark skin when they are telling you about racism they've experience.

The fact that you read that and used the word fortunate means you have no idea what it is like to be a woman.

this is about the fact that wearing a skirt to a football match is the same feeling that you want to avoid by walking into the mens toilets in a dress.

that sometimes wearing clothes as you say to present that leads to stares and calling and worse.

the choice of alpha in your username is telling as this thread is all about you and how you feel and no understanding or taking on board what it is like to be a woman.

which clothes really don’t pay a part in

If the world suddenly became like that tomorrow, I would almost certainly continue taking female hormones because I like the feeling of having a feminine body.

And yet I bet you 1M£ that you have not removed the one thing that makes you male.

I can cast iron GUARANTEE it.

I did not say that gendered roles in society were a bad thing. I'm sure they are fine for the 99% of the population who feel aligned with the sex of their body. The debate over whether a society with gendered social roles is a huge one we can hardly scratch the surface of here.

The problem is the 1%. Where do we fit into the big picture? I really don't know.

The LibDems came to my door today. I asked if wearing a dress, heels, lipstick etc would make him a woman. He replied, "no, it would make me a transvestite." @AlphaTransWoman what's your view on that?

I did not say that gendered roles in society were a bad thing. I'm sure they are fine for the 99% of the population who feel aligned with the sex of their body. The debate over whether a society with gendered social roles is a huge one we can hardly scratch the surface of here.

No. They are awful for 50% of the population. That's what everyone is telling you.

Honestly I don't think most people of either sex feel 'aligned' with the 'correct' gender stereotypes in the way you assume.

Also, you still keep mixing up sex and gender. Feelings are not sex.

The problem is the 1%. Where do we fit into the big picture? I really don't know.

The place you seem to fit is upholding those gendered expectations, by thinking that being a man who likes 'nice' clothes and is 'sensitive' is not a man at all. That is some messed up shit.

Whoever you are, you're tone deaf.

Gendered roles are toxic for 100% of people.

I assume the Lib Dem in question identifies as male. So he is quite correct, dressing up as a woman would not make him female. If this individual were to identify as female, that would be a different situation.

“Dressing up as” never makes you the thing you are dressed up as. That’s literally what it means.

Why do you feel that way? Would a division of labour between two gendered classes with complementary roles be a good or a bad thing? I'm not sure but you clearly have a strong view on that and I'm curious to know why.

Indeed. I don't dress up as a female. I wear female clothing because that is how I feel about myself.

You introduced the “dressing up” terminology OP

So if I dress up as Mrs Claus and feel festively jolly does that make me Mrs Claus?
if I wear a dress today am I more woman than when I wore a 3 piece suit for putt last week even though I felt like a woman on both days? Does one outfit make me more woman than another?
If I wear a sack and feel like a potato am I a potato?
If I add a few zeros after my actual bank balance and feel rich does it make me rich?
If the answer to any of those is no then how does a man wearing a greasy and feeling "womanly" make him a woman?

Because I see the ways in which stereotypical gender roles cause harm to both men and women. You've described one way yourself.

A division of labour between two classes with complementary roles? What nonsense is this.

Let all people just be who they want to be without forcing them to be masculine or
feminine or into one role or another.

What do you mean?

As in, men should be doctors and women should be nurses?

You may be right. Perhaps the idea of people changing social gender because they are unhappy with the gendered role associated with their birth sex is the death rattle of the gendered society?

Who knows?

That's an interesting one. Why did the medieval concept of the (usually female) healer bifurcate into the female nursing profession and the male medical profession? I'm not a historian but would be interested in any views.

Patriarchy. You are so ignorant.

No. Because people like you keep insisting the must be a woman because they don’t fit with certain stereotypes of men.

People like you simply re enforce gender stereotypes like you have done in this thread. You think you are a woman because you fit certain gender (damaging) stereotypes and those stereotypes overcome biology. Thats not fighting the issue at all

I think fundamentally you just cannot abide being told “no”, @AlphaTransWoman . Regardless of what you wear or how you think there are two sex’s (male and female) and your existence in one or the other is not optional. If you feel the opposite sex to your own is nicer, more comfortable, more fulfilling you cannot swap in and “have a go”.
if you want to use sex based spaces and facilities not for the sex you are, then the answer is “no”.

Obviously there is potential for dishonesty here. If we passed a law making all self-declared women exempt from income tax, say, the number of people claiming to have female gender identities would significantly increase. I acknowledge this is a real problem in some contexts, particularly criminal justice where women in prison are treated in a more humane manner than men. Hence the number of male born criminals suddenly "discovering" female identities.

you are such a terf! You really have to hand back your TRA badge immediately.

You, if you truly believe you're a woman, should a) show solidarity with us by not encroaching on our spaces and ACTIVELY pursuing 3rd spaces and b) be front and centre decrying and denouncing, for eg, Prison Onset Gender Dysphoria.

"Don't wear a dress"

So it's enforced detransition if I need to use the loo? Sorry, but it's not going to happen. Having experienced the sheer joy of wearing dresses and skirts, I can tell you nobody is taking that away from me, ever.

Mate. Again. For the nth time: wearing dresses isn't what makes a woman a woman. How many freaking times on this thread?

You like wearing women's clothes. you're a transvestite. no shame in that. Own it. And use the men's.

I did not say that gendered roles in society were a bad thing. I'm sure they are fine for the 99% of the population who feel aligned with the sex of their body. The debate over whether a society with gendered social roles is a huge one we can hardly scratch the surface of here

there are LITERALLY 26 pages of women telling you that "gendered roles" are a) bullshit 2) something we've been fighting against for centuries and iii) used to oppress us.

If you really don't understand: JUST ASK