I’m a SAHM AMA

[Annonymousse22]

Being a SAHM seems to be such an issue to a lot of people on here so feel free to AMA 😅

Are you married?

No, we’re not married but we do live together.

Do you own a property/have an income?

Do you have your own income then? What about a private pension?

What will you do if your partner decides he doesn't want to be with you anymore?

How much does your partner earn? Does he pay into a pension for himself and you?

Do you find it boring or monotonous?

Do you get adequate adult time away from the home/kids or is it 24/7? If so, how do you cope with that?

Do you do 100% of the household work or does your partner pitch in with that?

Hope these questions don't come across nasty or anything, I'm not trying to be. Being a SAHM was an option I considered when my daughter was little, but the boredom and isolation were my reasons for opting not to in the end.

What do you do all day?
I've had a couple of months between jobs and it's getting really boring! Even visiting galleries, swimming, reading and meeting friends for lunch there's only so much of that I can do. I couldn't imagine doing that for years on end.

What do you do about birthdays and Christmas to buy gifts for people,. especially your husband..surely he's just buying himself the gift and knows what you've spent on him. I really enjoy being able to treat and suprise my partner.

What made you make that decision?

How old re your children?

What does your typical day look like?

What did you do for work before you had children?

Does your partner always love their job? If not, is there any resentment that he/she has to go to work every day and you don’t?

suppose it depends on if your kids are going to nursery or school to give you time to be board.

I had 1 year off for maternity leave … work was/ is a nice change of pace I didn’t find the tome
boring but I do think knowing it was temporary may have bellowed .

I find working full time and fitting time with son , husband family and trying to keep up
with house work hard as have constant mum guilt about working , yet felt guilty about not bringing money in when off.

what made you decide to be a full time ?

We are renting and I don’t have an income from working but I do get benefits as I have a disability and probably won’t ever be able to work full time (I will try and get some part time work when my child is older).

I don’t have an income from working but I do get benefits as I have a disability. I don’t have a private pension and don’t really know what will happen when I am old as I realistically won’t ever be able to work full time. I will try and get some part time work when my child is older but it’s unlikely to be enough for a decent pension 😰

Do you have friends who are SAHMs?

Do you worry about your position in that you are not married?

Would you like to get married?

Struggle. I believe that he would do what was necessary for his child to have a good life if it ever came to it and wouldn’t let us end up on the streets.

And yet you're not married?

Does it not worry you that you're 100% dependant on someone?

Why isn't your partner, who would always do whats fair for you and your child, paying into a private pension for you as well as himself. Much more tax efficient anyway...

100pc this. I took a pay cut to move around for DHs work. There was no way I would have done this without the security of being married.

Does it not worry you being reliant on someone else, where there’s no legal protection if you split up? And not having the benefits of being employed like sick pay and pension contributions.

Is marriage on the cards?

Do you get Child Benefit?

Hi OP.
What do you enjoy most about being a sahm?
How old are your kids?

No, I wouldn’t say it’s boring. I find life much easier when I have a routine and I think it is much easier to have an unchanging routine as a SAHM.

I don’t but I don’t really want it very often. I find socialising difficult and kids are much easier than adults 🤷‍♀️😂 If I do meet up with friends then my little one comes or it’s people who also have kids so it’s just like play dates as I find it easier.

No, definitely not! He cooks and cleans too!! I have just cleaned the bathroom and he’s sorting out some things upstairs. If he’s working then he won’t do loads but then I’m not expected to have everything done either. Maybe it would be different if I were neurotypical but I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ We both live here so surely we should both do stuff 🤷‍♀️

I think it really does depend on what you are like and what you need as a person.

What do you do about birthdays and Christmas to buy gifts for people,. especially your husband..surely he's just buying himself the gift and knows what you've spent on him

A family is an economic unit so money is shared between partners or spouses.

Well yeah, but I still have my own money too that is mine to do what I like with. It doesn't all go in the shared pot. So if I want to suprise Dh or buy him a gift I do this from my own money not the family pot, likewise if he wants to buy a gift for me. It's not really a suprise if you see the transaction on a joint account is it, and it's not a gift if that person actually earnt the money you're using to buy the gift.