I was raised Mormon, got married at 20, had 6 kids, but I don't believe anymore. AMA.

[OnceIWasAMormon]

I know we've had a few threads like this in the past (not mine), but with the recent BBC documentary I thought people might want to ask about Mormonism again.

I don't have a TV licence so haven't seen the documentary, but I lived the life for 30+ years so I'm confident I could answer questions. 🙂AMA.

@OnceIWasAMormon absolutely. So many unhealthy things drilled into me in on song form.

Then there is the youth programme. Did you get the chewed gum purity story? Write letters at 12 to your future husband?

@OnceIWasAMormon and @Newnamefor2021 - I’m sure I recall him saying something about wanting/needing to marry if his wife died.

I’d not long come out of an abusive relationship, I was ok but was a bit fragile. I’m sure I suffered close family and my best friend’s bereavement at the same time and he was understanding about this!

when we were in touch it was 20 years ago so presumably the dances were then! He seemed very keen for me to know that his teenage children could and did have fun. I guess that was trying to persuade me to join up! When I got the bible I was shocked as I’d never said I wanted one or expressed that much of an interest in Mormonism bar usual polite questions.

The family member I know who’s a Mormon (through my half brother), she’s encouraged to work, study etc and from what I saw on Facebook her children as they grew were encouraged to live a full, happy life.

I've heard of it but I honestly can't remember. I didn't always attend church as a teen, but I do know of those lessons. There's a cupcake version of the chewed gum analogy I think?

The long lessons and extra classes, weeknight activities, early morning seminary, camps, regional meets, etc were a bit intense.

@OnceIWasAMormon absolutely.

Yea the licked cupcake that no one would want. All so horrible!

Thanks, it's really interesting. I didn't really know much about Mormonism until I watched Under the Banner of Heaven and then went down a few rabbit holes!

Is contraception outright banned? Do you think you would have had as many DC if you had left before starting your family?

Hello! Thanks for commenting. 😊

Contraception isn't banned as is in other religions or something like QuiverFull, but certain prophets over the years have encouraged couples to "leave it to the Lord" when planning family size. "Let them (babies) come" was another phrase used.

There's a real question mark around which prophet's words should be followed at any given moment, because there have been frequent contradictions over the years. At one point, I wanted to stop having children and look into fostering- my ex and I were "counselled" by our Bishop to have more children of our own instead. I obviously took that advice seriously...!

If I had left the church before having a family I would have probably come out much sooner in life. Maybe wouldn't have had any children at all. 🤷🏼‍♀️ No way to know, and no point in dwelling on it.

Getting married young and having lots of children really ties you to the church. Those of us with bigger families we seen to be more righteous in building up the kingdom.

Yes. The belief in a "pre-existence" and the queue of roghteous souls waiting to be born "in the covenant" (to temple-married parents) so they are raised in "righteousness", is a powerful narrative that is told to us from childhood.

I genuinely valued the community of people around me, and thought it was a vital support network that enabled me to raise a large family. But it was all conditional, and therefore fake.

thnks OP great thread. I have a couple of LDS friends so your thread is very interesting to me.

One friend will always drink hot chocolate regardless of time of day, I now feel so bad I've been offering tea and coffee the whole time. She didn't say anything! I've decided just to buy in hot chocolate just for her now (have to hide it from the children!)

I'm sorry if you've already answered this but are your parents still in the church? Did you grow up in a big family? How is your relationship with them now you've left?