I've had 4 home births AMA

[homebirthAMA]

4 kids, 4 home births AMA.

Mainly because there seems to be lots of misconceptions about home birth on the internet (less so in RL)

Just a preemptive note:
I won't be replying to any offensive attacks (because I have self respect) and I won't be providing endless links for 'evidence' - please do you own homework or ask your midwife for that sort of thing. I can talk about our experiences and viewpoint. :)

I’m surprised no replies as that’s amazing OP! Did each of your births go well? How near were you to hospital ? Were any of your DC in the house with you and if so did you worry about them? And did you manage any pain relief?

I considered a home birth when a midwife encouraged me to after two straight-forward hospital births; but ended up so grateful to an entire medical team saving DS from danger as for me things took a scary turn (and despite me being as calm and no relevant complications til then). So although odds of my experience are tiny (a cord prolapse) to me it doesn’t seem an easy decision.

I had three home births - they were great.

How far from a hospital were you, OP? Were you concerned about the potential for transfer and time it might take if things went awry? Did you end up using any pain relief?

Sorry, lots of questions. I would love a home birth if we have another. DS was premature so not even sure it would be an option for me if we do have another, but in labour all I wanted was to be at home and it was such an intense feeling of wanting to be in my own space I found it quite distressing feeling "trapped" in hospital. I feel I would have coped with labour better in my own home, but we're 45 mins from our nearest hospital so also feels like too much of a risk for me in case of any issues. I really admire you, 4 home births is amazing!

You’ve done amazing with 4, well done! I’m due my third baby soon and the hospital I wanted to deliver in has stopped gas and air due to ventilation issues so I’ve opted for homebirth now, are you in the uk? How did you manage pain in your home births? Where did you find it best to labour?

Hi, I didn't think anyone was interested in the thread. Thanks for the questions!

Yes all 4 went well, textbook physiological births. No complications, no issues.
I like to think I maximised my chances of this happening by not borrowing trouble - so I didn't have sweeps for example.

About 45 mins drive for me to the hospital, ambulance would be a lot less. All 4 of mine would have been born in the car on the motorway or in a traffic jam if I'd have attempted the transfer.

With the older children

For the 2nd birth DC1 slept through it and woke in the morning to meet the new baby. My mum was here to babysit in case she woke up but wasn't needed. This was my noisiest birth but she didn't even stir.

For the 3rd birth DC1 and DC2 were in the pool with me and watched the baby being born. This was very special and they still talk about it now. The kids helped fill the pool even it was all very lovely.

For the 4th the baby arrived super quickly, the children heard the baby cry, went and got each other and came together to find me and the baby. They thought it was so exciting. When the mw arrived she showed them the placenta etc. they were very interested and engaged. DC2's teacher said she'd got up and told the whole class about it the next morning 😂

I didn't worry about them at all, no. But maybe because mum and their dad was there for them.

No pain relief any time. I'm not super brave I just didn't need it.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience with your DC3, that sounds really scary. For a home birth on this subject, the mw tells you/told us each time about cord prolapse and what to do if that happens. I think they should tell all women not just home birthers as it could happen to anyone at anytime I suppose. They said it's vanishingly rare at home and usually associated with sweeps, artificially breaking the waters (which is why this isn't done at home) and inductions. The mw also said they can get some idea about the risk of it from the baby's head position. I felt reassured about it all anyway.
Did you have any inkling about it in advance? Obviously your instinct to go to hospital was right!

🥰 all the love

I’ve no question and I have never had a homebirth but I know many people who have but they were not for me. I am totally supportive of homebirth as an option for low risk pregnancy. The cascade of interventions in hospital births has its downside too so to me there is risk with birth no matter what you do. I can totally see the draw of being at home while and after giving birth.

45 mins by car, this was one of the main reasons I decided to stay at home, all mine were precipitous labours (last one was under half an hour). I felt it was far to dangerous to attempt a transfer at all. I would have given birth in the car.

I wasn't concerned for the 1st three where we lived next to the ambulance station. For the 4th and with all the post covid awfulness I was concerned about ambulance waiting times and asked the hospital for the data on this. There cat 1 response times (I was told birth is categorised as cat 1) it was a 12 min wait time and was given weekly updates.

I've also heard too many stories now of women being ignored in hospitals or waiting hours for 'emergency' c sections :( there so I didn't consider the extra 12 mins a particular problem when staying at home.

I said no pain relief above but actually I did use the tens machine for all of them and the pool for the 3 births. I didn't want G+A because I don't like feeling drunk and I wanted to stay with a clear head. I didn't find my births painful, which I think lots of home birthers will also say.

Thank you for the questions!
I think if feel the same as you in hospital tbh, I don't think I'd ever be comfortable there so it would always be my plan b. Surely if your next pregnancy gets to term then your premature first birth won't be of relevance? Something to look into at the time :)

I had three as well. I had independent midwives for the second and third and that was a total game changer. Best money I ever spent. My third was 42 + 4 and I know there would have been huge pressure to get induced if I’d been in the system.

Hello fellow homebirther, I had all mine at home too. But where I was posted, it was actually illegal so I had an underground midwife.

I also travelled to my sisters homebirth (legal there) and held one twin while the midwives were helping her with twin #2.

Only had a few complications- back labour, cord round neck, tearing that sort of thing. All easily handled by the midwife. The hospitals where I was were dire and scared the shit out of me, so homebirth was the safest option given my pregnancies were mostly low risk.

Hi, I've heard about these issues with the piped gas in hospitals, absolutely shit you've had your choices limited like this imo.

I'm in the UK and home birthed under 3 different trusts who had varied approaches to how they staffed the home births.

The pain relief question I answered above.

I laboured mainly in our tiny en-suite for the last 2, the first 3 were actually born in the pool but I got in quite last minute with all of them. Baby 4 was born in the bathroom. I think you just naturally gravitate towards your safe space in the moment.

Are you excited to plan the Homebirth? Are you having a pool?

Did you take into consideration the impact on the environment having so many children would have?

Thank you for your comment. I feel the same way as you I think.

I think women should have choices and be supported in those. Horses for courses and all that.

"Low risk" is an interesting term though because it means different things to different people. You are right of course nothing in life is entirely risk free.

Also I started in my mid 30s and last was early 40s. 2nd and 3rd switched v fast from erratic contractions which I wouldn't have been admitted to a labour ward for to pushing. Not sure we'd have made it to hospital but the midwives made it to us, just.

Amazing @Notellinganyone luckily my babies were very punctual.
I would not have consented to induction purely for dates either.

Aww I've got 4 kids and had 3 home births. Really amazing experience each time.

Amazing!
Which country?!

Tbh the hospitals here seem pretty dire to me. :(

This sounds like my first.
Was a planned home birth but when I called for a mw I was told I wasn't in labour because I never had regular contractions. They eventually believed me (well DH who'd lost his patience) and arrived 10 mins before the birth.

I was told afterwards if I'd gone into hospital I'd have been put on a drip to increase the contractions, this horrified me as if would have been so unnecessary and added risk to the baby and me. We had a perfect birth and a perfect baby with perfect APGAR with no meddling at all.

🥰

Did you feel concerned once the midwives had left?
I have 4 DC, three born in hospital and last one was an unassisted home birth due to very fast labour. Three of my four needed medical assistance after birth as they were very sleepy and not waking to feed and to be honest I think had I been at home I'd have just slept through and not noticed until the morning.

Do you have no friends? You sound a little sad.

I would love to have a homebirth but I would be way too anxious! I'm literally only a 5 min drive from a hospital, but I feel I would be better in a medical environment. Can't imagine the mess it would make too??! 🙈

Hi,

I don't remember ever being concerned like that. My babies were all alert afterbirth but did have their 'long sleep' which is just normal. I put this down to the births being straightforward and unmedicated. The mw for DC4 commented on how alert the baby was and how nice it was to see.

I think I would have been more anxious in a hospital without DH there.

The mw stayed for around 2 hours after the births, they give you the hospital phone number and a whole list of mw phone numbers to call if concerned and do a visit the next day.

My 4th was also too speedy for the mws and was BBA.

I understand that. It's not for everyone.

No mess with any of them that wasn't wet wipable. A shower curtain over the carpet and the inco pads the mws bring did the job well.

I had my 2 at home - it just felt the right thing to do. It was the most lovely thing. I would have hated to have this amazing experience in a hospital. It all went fantastically. Everyone except DH and the mw 's were against it - so that was quite challenging. Even now people say they wouldn't have dared to do it. I love the fact that the kids were born in our bed. When you are so relaxed and know you don't need to go to a hospital or be induced then you can usually manage fine with no meds. ❤️