I've had 4 home births AMA

[homebirthAMA]

4 kids, 4 home births AMA.

Mainly because there seems to be lots of misconceptions about home birth on the internet (less so in RL)

Just a preemptive note:
I won't be replying to any offensive attacks (because I have self respect) and I won't be providing endless links for 'evidence' - please do you own homework or ask your midwife for that sort of thing. I can talk about our experiences and viewpoint. :)

Rather amused at OP’s touching belief that midwives carry all the kit required to resuscitate mother and baby from any possible complication.
They don’t have even a single unit of blood if you require urgent transfusion. The Labour suite holds six units of O negative in a shock pack for emergency use, and has access to the transfusion service for further cross matched supplies.

They cannot perform an emergency C section, or even a simple forceps lift out.
Labour suite has 24/7 access to an emergency obstetric theatre.

They are not trained or equipped to anything like the level of a paediatric crash team.
My own second baby- born naturally at full term, with no warning signs during labour - needed intracardiac adrenaline, three different iv anticonvulsants, intubation, ventilation, a brain scan and a week in intensive care. None of which could be provided by a home midwife.
Had I chosen a home birth for my low risk baby, she would have died or been severely brain damaged.
Home births are all very fuzzy and lovely until the unexpected shit hits the fan, at which point they become life threatening.

I am about to have my first baby at 35 and have considered a home birth. However, the Scottish NHS online info says there is a higher risk of something going wrong with your first at home. What would your experience be and do you know why they say this?

I had no vaginal exams with my second and third birth. Most people don’t even know that’s an option. My last birth was 19 years ago now but I’d be even more determined given the current state of the NHS. At home you are the sole focus of the MW’s attention whereas maternity wards are woefully understaffed and midwives themselves acknowledge it’s not really safe at times.

This wasn't an issue when I had my first. I think I would question why this guidance is in place and go from there. If I was going to go into hospital I'd want to be very clear in my mind as to why. Is there a home birth support group in your area? Are you in any of the Facebook home north support groups? If so these are great for information. Is there a team home birth midwives you can contact to discuss it with locally? Are there doulas in the area who can help with the local knowledge?

I can only speak from my experience which was that I had a great 1st birth, I'm sure aided by being at home which meant the subsequent births were also low risk.

Exactly @Notellinganyone it's safer from the point of view you're not having to share your midwives that's for sure!

Me too. Zero vaginal exams at prenatal visits (close to due date) and zero vaginal exams during labour. They’re not necessary at all.

@Babdoc
Rather amused at OP’s touching belief that midwives carry all the kit required to resuscitate mother and baby from any possible complication.

Well, I’m amused at your lack of reading comprehension. No one, least of all the OP, has said homebirth midwives carry all kit for any possible complication.

I'm going for a home birth any day now and am really enjoying reading all the positives. My mw team is very supportive (for all low risk pregnancies including first baby) and I also won't be having any VE unless clinically indicated not to tell whether they should go and come back 😄

I am not far from the hospital and they will be carrying paed resus equipment. There is a community defib under two mins away from my house. I know not having to share a mw or prove how far along I am etc as well as being in my own space will be such a better experience than last time. My hospital maternity service have been slammed by the CQC recently so it's a no brainer in my circumstances.

Oh and my questions: what did you do with baby after first feed and placenta delivery each time? Did you go to bed? Did the mw help you shower?

My 2nd was a Homebirth and it is was amazing.

I'm so excited for you @Flittingaboutagain !

So after first feed and placenta. Well my placentas each took 1h+ which I'm told is quite normal for physiological 3rd stages, so i had plenty of time for feeding and cuddling.

After dc 1 I had a shower, got into bed and dh had ordered dominoes pizza 😁

After dc2 she was born close to midnight so i think I just went to bed. That labour was very fast and intense. She was bigger than my others and back to back so just thundered her way out. I was shaky and tired after that one.

After dc3 - she was born in morning and I think we just had a fairly normal day, the 2 big kids went off with my parents for the day and dh and I just chilled with our new baby. That was lush.

After dc4 - my fastest labour, born in the evening I just brushed my teeth and went to bed 🤣 the mw did tell me to eat something but I'd just had dinner and didn't need to at all.

Not very exciting answers!

Forgot the last bit, I showered without help. But the door was open so if I'd have needed anyone they would have been to get to me.

❤️

Wow OP!!! Hats of to you!!! What pain relief did you use? Where is your house did you give birth and how was your labour/recovery? Sorry for all the questions - I would love to do this one day but a bit fearful after a forsteps delivery with our DC age 3. I’m really looking forward to your replies on this thread! Sorry for all the questions 🤣

Thanks @Onnabugeisha for replying there.

I was always reassured by the fact that in an emergency you transfer in with a midwife straight into whatever you need, because the hospital know you're coming bypassing the triage queue.

Blood is not a first line treatment for haemorrhage, even in hospital. Blood transfusions carry risk and are not done unless necessary. Other treatments are used first.

I'm sorry to read about your horrific hospital birth @Babdoc . Your experience is clearly very different from my own.

Wow OP!!! Hats of to you!!! What pain relief did you use? Where is your house did you give birth and how was your labour/recovery? Sorry for all the questions - I would love to do this one day but a bit fearful after a forsteps delivery with our DC age 3. I’m really looking forward to your replies on this thread! Sorry for all the questions 🤣

Thank you for your questions!

I didn't use any pharmaceutical pain relief. I did have a tens machine and the pool for 3 of them.

I gave birth is different places each time, 2x the pool was in the living room, then we had it in the nursery. Then the plan was my bedroom but the baby had other ideas and was born on dry land in the en-suite.

My labours were all a bit different. I didn't ever have regular contractions with any of them. The longest was the first around 4 hrs, the shortest no4 was under 30mins. No tearing. Minimal blood loss, I think it said 200mls in my notes.

Physically I didn't feel I needed to recover but mentally I needed to spend time at home with my babies shut off from the world a bit. The outside world felt a bit much for me in the first couple of weeks.

When I had my first baby born at home in Scotland, I saw the same information so I looked at the raw data behind it (there are official reports available online) an the difference was really tiny - I decided I am comfortable with such small risk increase and went ahead.

Speaking of statistics, I wasn't impressed at being told by a (new, never seen her before) mw at my check-up at 41.4 weeks that "pregnancies which go over 42 weeks double their risk of stillbirth". Whilst this is technically true, the mw DID NOT say that actually, it's an increase from 0.01% to 0.02% (quoting from memory so may be inaccurate) so still tiny!

I am trained in statistic and check the source of information I am given, and the raw data - highly recommend it.

Really interesting to read your experiences, thank you for sharing.

Of course I’m glad and grateful to be safely delivered of a baby (emergency c-section) but my experience of giving birth in hospital was not at all optimal. But I was nearly 42 and that fact alone ruled out a home birth for me. But I was far too deferential to patronising midwives and rude consultants.

So my questions: how old were you for each of your births? And was there anything in your lifestyle that supported you (eg. are/were you a yoga practitioner / gymnast / someone who practises meditation? Did your own mother support you?

Thank you for such a positive thread!

What wonderful experiences. Mine were back to back and both got stuck and were emergency CS. We'd have all died if we hadn't been in hospital. I think some women are just made for a straightforward birth and some aren't.

You're very lucky, no pain relief and no intervention is quite rare in my circle of friends.

Oh thanks for starting this thread @homebirthAMA. I had a great first birth at a mw led birthing suite but really disliked staying in the postnatal ward after. Also the worst part of the whole thing was the drive to the hospital (less than 5mins). There is now talk of closing the local unit so it would be a 45min -1hr drive to the hospital. These factors are making me strongly consider a home birth for no.2

I know it varies area to area but could you have g&a if you wanted? I loved it. Also how was the mess sorted? I gave birth in the pool and it looked like a scene from carrie. My husband is very supportive but is bad with blood and I likely wont fancy getting the mop out. Did they make you come into the hospital the next day for all the baby checks or did someone come out to you? Any stipulations on the room you give birth in? The one i would choose doesnt have a sink.

Thank you!

Really enjoying this thread. I had an awful first birth that was 33 hours of active labour, failed ventouse and emergency c section. Baby in NICU for weeks afterwards with sepsis. Utter horror show. It was all going well (or at least felt like it was) and my body was basically pushing on its own (as in I wasn't actively pushing, it was doing it all on its own with zero thought or control from me). But I wasn't 'allowed' to push, for various reasons, and so had to try and stop myself from doing so with every contraction for two hours which was torturous! By the time I was finally allowed to push there was zero impetus left to do so-baby had shifted and become wedged and stuck in my pelvis and there was no getting him out. I still wonder if I'd been able to just go with my body whether I'd have been able to birth him vaginally.

Anyway, LOTS of birth trauma after that so my second DC ended up being an ELCS. Best decision at the time, I was so frightened and despite trying my hardest with hypnobirthing etc I remained frightened and knew that my adrenaline and cortisol would not make for a productive birth. Very healing and positive experience, a planned c section is VERY different to an emergency one!

Homebirth however has always appealed. I can definitely understand the positives and oh my god the dream of having the baby and being able to be tucked up in my own bed straight away! I'd love another baby (need to meet a suitable partner first 🥴) but don't know if it would even be recommended after two c sections, even if they were several years ago. Plus I'd be approaching 40. So it's probably out for me. But god I'd like to try it. I can dream I guess! Really even just birthing vaginally would be a novelty!

Thank you @Daftmum47

I'm also grateful for the advent and availability of safe c sections, my only comment on that is birth has become increasingly medicalised and not improved outcomes for women or babies. My local hospital has a 50% CS rate and a 40% induction rate. I find this mind blowing. Women are being treated like they are defective. I think the place of birth study found that the CS rate for planned home birthers was about 5% which in evolutionary terms seems about right. The WHO state there is no benefit overall when CS rates go above 12%. The system in the UK is a mess at the moment.

I was 26 for the 1st and 36 for the 4th so I just happened to tick 'low' risk NHS boxes. If I had another one I wouldn't go into hospital purely because of the age box.

Lifestyle wise - I'm not particularly active, I did pregnancy yoga with the 1st 3, I walk my dogs daily, my job is not office based so quite active there. I'm vegetarian and fairly eat well. Eat loads of chocolate.

I did choose to avoid what I considered unnecessary screening tests in pregnancy, I'm a scientist and have awareness of the negative/detrimental side of screening tests so I picked and chose rather than going along with everything that was offered. Different tests were offered in different areas too so I just felt like some of it they were making up as they went along. For example GD testing I declined (and my mw said quietly to me she wouldn't have that one in my position either). In this way I kept myself out of trouble I think.

My own mother had awful births in the 80s and subsequent PND before these things were ever acknowledged or diagnosed. We don't discuss birth stuff. She supports me whatever I choose and doesn't give opinions. She's amazing. She did childcare for 2 and 3 when I needed it and kept the mws in cups of tea. I remember her breastfeeding my littlest brother so I think unconsciously I didn't think I'd have a problem with that.

I'm sorry to hear about your hospital birth experience @maryofthevirginkind .

I don't believe I was particularly lucky. If you start to talk to home birthers and read home birth stories you'll see my stories are not in any way special. It's only my hospital birthing friends who have the horror stories.

Access to MLUs seems to be a problem everywhere :(

Yes the mws carried gas&air, I asked them to leave it in the car because I only wanted it as a last resort. I never asked for it. Lots of women have it at home though.

Dh sorted the pool, he likes having jobs and responsibilities 🤣
We had a submersible pump, you put it in the water attached to a hose down the toilet/into garden/where ever. That empties the water and then the liner just goes into I the bin. Voila all done!

I had home visits for all my postnatal checks. I've heard of this trend of getting women to go into hospitals with their new babies for this and I think it's absolutely disgusting and would have refused point blank. I've written to my MP about it in my area. In my mind it's just abuse of women.

The GP or MW did the post natal baby check, they just have to be trained to do it so ask around to find someone who is.

I didn't have any stipulations on room choice but I know others have been told not upstairs - that is nonsense. 2 of mine we had the pool upstairs. If your floor isn't load bearing enough for a pool you shouldn't be living in the house, the builder scoffed when I asked him about this issue! Misinformation exists even amongst some HCPs sadly.

2 of mine were born in the living room - no sinks there.