I went to boarding school, AMA

[baconpaps]

Related to another thread, happy to answer any questions on my experience of going to boarding school as a relatively young person (I was 9).

That's not a very nice reply. Lots of people are interested in personal experiences whether they're looking for their own children or just out curiosity.

I just wonder why you bothered to reply at all.

Odd first responder. Not the point.

OP - how do you look back on your time there?

How did you feel when you first moved away from home? Was it a big change? How did you cope aged 9 if you needed comfort or reassurance?

Oh - maybe my mistake? With the word ‘Ask’ in the title I’ve always assumed the AMA threads were intended to be specifically informative.

Anyone at all could start a boarding school thread, discussing their personal experience, without the implication of unique authority on the subject.

Gosh you are doubling down Metadaughter. No need!

What would your AMA be? 😊

@MetaDaughter why would you consider sending a child to have an experience they might not be able to fully process until well into adulthood?

Well I’m interested!

(FYI… I don’t think you have to be the only person ever to do something to have an AMA. A recent one was a person who “Lived in the Netherlands”. I think probably a few others have lived there too?)

OP, 9 seems so young! Was anyone there even younger than you?

(And nine year olds at UK boarding schools don’t ‘move away from home’ (unless they’re sent to a different country). They would almost always be effectively weekly or flexi-boarding. The child in my family who has boarded recently at a well known full boarding prep school was never there for more than two weeks at a time. Children with parents not resident in the UK have official guardians and spend as little time at school as UK resident children.)

What is your opinion on the research showing boarding school experiences as emotionally damaging? I am referencing the work of Dr Suzanne Zeedyk about how adult boarders struggle with spousal and parenting relationships.

Gordonstoun in Scotland appears to offering boarding from 4 and half years old. I find that staggering. My DC are 10 and 8 and I cannot imagine not seeing them every day, and I am the adult!

Well that would depend on your perspective of informative , wouldn't it?

Generally, people the supercilious are discouraged from ama.

Has it left you feeling any way towards your parents?

How long ago?
Ow often did you see your parents?
How old were you when you stopped?

(I also boarded from 12-17. Hated it.)

I'm really interested to hear how you look back on it now op.

I boarded full-time from the age 8 (from beginning of term to half-term without going home).

While I can absolutely see that it taught me some life skills and strengths, I would never have considered it for my DC!

Oh and @MetaDaughter do bore off somewhere else. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about.

I put a thread up about my experiences as a stripper and camgirl. I can assure you it wasn't for the purposes of advice for other women who might fancy it!

Lots of AMAs are just about experiences/jobs etc that the OP thinks others may find interesting, not because they're wanting to 'give advice' to others who may want to go through that experience or do that job. Odd response.

OP I haven't RTFT (I never know if that stands for 'read the full thread' or 'read the fucking thread') so apologies if already answered. Is there anything supposedly insignificant about your time there, but that you remember distinctly for either negative or positive reason?

On the contrary, @Luckingfovely , I’ve only recently come out of eight years of ferrying a child to and from first a full boarding prep and then a full boarding senior school! (Both traditional, highly sought after Oxfordshire / Berkshire area.) It’s given me plenty to compare with my own boarding life in the previous century.

So, no - to say I have no idea what I’m talking about is simply wrong. (Not that it matters - I’m just a stranger on the internet and don’t really care if you believe me or not.)

Were bathrooms individual?
Ok that sounds a weird question, but I have a memory that may or may not be true. My prep had boarding (I was day). One time we were taken on a tour of the boarding area and i remember a large open bathroom with 4 baths in it.

@MetaDaughter people do ama about anything. Historical boarding is a perfectly fine subject.

@MetaDaughter why on earth are you being so spiky?!

Oh sorry - wasn't expecting responses so quickly! Will reply now!

@MetaDaughter not sure why you've come to the AMA section. I deliberately said 'my experience' - which like every opinion on this section (and Mumsnet as a whole), it is of course completely subjective. I find AMA an interesting, and realise from another thread that boarding school is a topic a lot of people find interesting, hence my post. Certainly no intention to write a book or even less, a biography (it would be dull). But thanks. I'll crack on now.

@MBappse I look back on my time there fondly. It was, overall, a good experience for me.

@Ruffpuff How did you cope aged 9 if you needed comfort or reassurance?

I was apprehensive about leaving home, but also excited. I had moved schools a lot already, so it felt like that.

It was still a big change, but boarding was only one part of that though - going from state to private and moving to the countrysde were also changes.

Looking back, and now I have my own kids, I realise my DPs were not massively comforting or reassuring (they still aren't tbh) and I don't really remember missing that side of things when I went away. There were matrons etc who provided that to an extent, and of course, friends.

@LampHat yes, there were lots younger than me although big intake was age 9. Boarding started at 7 maybe? Even at the time, we felt sorry for those kids who'd started at 7 and they were babied a bit in the boarding house.