I live in Japan - AMA

[tanitani]

Hello! I did this years ago but I’m a lot more experienced and had a lot more “life experience” here now.

excluding a six month stint in the UK this year, I’m approaching my sixth year living in Japan.

DH is Japanese with a decent daily conversation level English - we met here.
Also got an almost 3 year old DC.

Been through dating, marriage, pregnancy and birth in Japan.
Currently working part time.

Originally came over as a church volunteer for a year or so but ended up much longer 😆 no plans to move back to the UK.

We’re in a commuter town right next to Tokyo.

Can’t think of much else - any interest feel free to ask!

Wow! Thank you @tanitani ! That is a goldmine of information! I'm going to sit with dd later and google it all and see if we have any more questions! Really really appreciate all of that.

That's okay - I started typing and got excited.
Happy for any other questions!

Just wanted to say thank you so much for starting this OP. It's so interesting. I am heading to Tokyo next year by myself for my 50th so I have taken lots of notes with your advice. On a side note I used to live in Shanghai and the expat snobby thing from the longer term expats reacting to new expats was rife. But that was in 2002 - 2007 when I lived here so things may have changed.

I holidayed in Japan in 2017 for a month and read in an English written free newspaper that a store had a sign outside stating "no Chinese customers for entry". How prevalent is racism in Japan? I hear that foreigners find it hard to set up businesses or own property there.

Hi OP, I’m heading to Japan for the first time in April, with my partner and 7 year old. Planning a few days in Tokyo at either end of a 2.5 week trip but looking to travel around a little in between. Is there any part of the country you’d recommend? Definitely want to spend a little time in Kyoto but finding it hard to narrow down options for the rest of our time!

I think in Japan there’s two kind of “expats”, the people who’ve been moved here for work and their company pays for a lot of things.
Then the people who came for teaching/travel and then stayed.

The lifestyles are different economically so I’ve never really spent much time with the first group, if that makes sense? So I’m not sure on how much snobbery there still is.

Those kind of signs I feel are rare - I’ve never seen one but they do pop up.

Japanese don’t like confrontation so most racism tends to be indirect or exclusion type. A lot of Japanese people think there’s no racism in Japan - but of course for them there isn’t.

it is difficult to do some things - I couldn’t get a phone contract once because my visa wasn’t long enough at the time, but the visa has been decided by the government so I couldn’t control it.

Most people won’t come out and say it, but unfortunately there is. YouTube has some good videos/interviews on this.
The Miss Japan controversy was very sad.

I always ask what peoples interests are or why they chose Japan when they ask for recommendations.
Going through the obvious samurai/ninja/cute toys/fashion/scenery type things, what is everyone interested in?

for ninja stuff I recommend iga in Mie - there’s a ninja museum with a show that was hilarious when I went. I loved it.

I’ll always recommend Takayama because I had such a wonderful family trip there. Also shirakawa-go is amazing.

Theres a snoopy museum just outside of Tokyo but I haven’t been yet so no idea what it’s like. Character cafes galore!
I also really like Meiji Jingu in harajuku.

My BIL has lived in Tokyo for 30 years and we have two nieces ( he is married to a Japanese woman ) - if anyone wants any advice re what teenage girls would like on a trip do PM me - I did see ( on the TV ) I have been to Japan 3 times - the most marvellous museum / art thing which elder niece has been to

I think it was this www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=james+may+museum+art+intalation&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&safari_group=9#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:8ce33599,vid:nyQmsi_hwt4

Very interesting thread @tanitani :)

I wanted to ask, what in your opinion are some of the main differences between Japanese and Brits in terms of mentality?
I do personally think that while many Brits can be more emotional (and in my eyes have a much better sense of humor!) than Japanese, many of the cultural norms (reading the room etc.) are pretty alike.
However that's my impression as a non-British (and non-Japanese) person who doesn't know too many Brits, so it'll be really interesting to hear your opinion.

Also do you converse with your in-laws in English?

May I also ask where did you meet your mom friends?
I've been living in Tokyo for 10 years (I'm 32 now), working for 9 years in a Japanese speaking environment except for that one year I took my maternity leave (DD is almost two now, DH is Japanese). I have two friends from the same country as me, but unfortunately we live too far from each other and don't see each other much. As for Japanese moms at 保育園, I don't really see anyone because everybody has different drop and pick up times. I do have a couple of lovely acquaintances through my hobby (ballroom dancing), but they are all in their 60s.
It would be fun to have some international mom friends in my area, but I haven't really seen anyone. 🤔

Also as a PP has mentioned, you can totally own a property as a foreigner in Japan! And you don't even need to have a permanent residency as long as your loan gets approved

Hello!

My mum friends - to be honest I always hope to chat to someone at the park, we usually do......and mostly we never meet again - or occasionally we really click and swap Line details.
Japanese mum friends are hard to make even for Japanese people - my friend once told me she struggled too and it wasn't just being a foreigner.
So geographically.....haha, either the local jidoukan or park. Now DS is three so he likes finding someone to play with, so he's my wingman in that respect.

I notice you said you're not British, where are you from originally?

My in laws don't speak any English so it's all japanese, in a group conversation I can't translate and follow everything quick enough so usually get left behind, but I generally love my inlaws so I'm comfortable with that. I just chill on my phone until there's something I catch, or if they suddenly ask my opinion just say cheekily "Sorry the foreigner doesn't understand" and we laugh.

For fellow "Gaikokujin" mama friends, I'm in a few Facebook groups for British, or ALT mums (I'm not an alt but they're quite relaxed) and people are eager to make friends so if you post in those (Tokyo mamas, ALT mums in Japan kind of titles) you can usually have play dates.

We're in Kanagawa but can get to Tokyo in about 25 minutes on the train - so feel free to PM!

I'd say your mentality observations are the same as what I'd say. Maybe British people tend to be more relaxed about some stuff - like DS got pasta sauce all down his t-shirt today to the point where it stained his tummy! DH mentioned about a spare change of clothes and I was like........it's fine. Just take him home dirty and then wash them.

I'm much less likely to care what others are thinking about me IF the thing I'm doing doesn't affect them.
(For example eating on the train - if it's a plain rice ball that has so sound, smell.......and I'm hungry? I'm eating! If anyone looks at me the chorus of Meghan Trainor's Me Too just plays on loop in my head)😆

If DS is screaming like a banshee or throwing a bucket of soup down the bus I might intervene........but if it's just something that's not usually "done", I'm much less to worry about being judged.

Thank you for an interesting insight @tanitani :)
I'll be PM'ing now!

Are used knicker vending machines a thing there?

OP, you can apply for permanent resident visa in Japan after three years on a spouse visa and ten years on any different type of visa. That way you can keep your UK citizenship but have much more security without having to keep renewing your visa.
If you’ve been married for more than three years but not spent all of it in Japan you can still apply for PR, I know people who’ve got it.
It’s a good idea to do that as you’ll be more likely to get approved for financial loans, credit card, etc.
Also, in case (god forbid) something happens to your DH after e.g. buying a house or something, you won’t have problems staying in Japan on a PR, but your spouse visa is invalidated.

Haven’t seen one 😂

Thank you!! Will look into starting the process!

I posted a question and then totally lost the thread, sorry and thanks for answering @tanitani. We’re arriving on 3rd April for 2 weeks and have lots of things planned, all very excited now!

My 7 year old has grown up with egg allergy and dairy intolerance but is now (touch wood!) able to eat both. It means he’s fairly cautious about food though and a bland eater. We’re planning to use the 7/11 to stock up on dry snacks and fruit, to keep him going when he struggles with lunch/dinner menus. Just wondered if you have any recommendations for the simplest/least challenging thing to order in a typical ramen chain, for instance?

Really glad you started the thread, thanks for sharing your knowledge!

Ooooh how fun! So glad you're able to make it and hope you have a great trip.

Try to download the google translate app on your phone and hopefully you should be able to fiddle with the settings and make Japanese to English available offline. A lot of menus have screens and you order there - so even though google translate can be terrible at times it'll help for that - also for checking things in the 7-11 etc. (The order-at-the-screen places will print a ticket and then you hand it over)
McDonalds is always an option 😁

For ramen you can always ask "Tamago nashi kudasai" which means without egg please. They often put Half a boiled egg on top.
There are a LOT of menus with pictures though - most places in fact so even without japanese you can get an idea of what you're getting.
This is actually really convenient!
There's quite a few family restaurants everywhere that are really popular.
(If it's busy and there's a queue, quickly go to the front of it and check if there's a list - there's often one where you have to write your name and the waiter calls people in order)

Always nearby in city areas:
Saizeriya
Denny's
Gusto
McDonalds
Mosburger
Coco Ichiban (Japanese curry)