I'm an alcoholic - AMA

[RedRedWhiney]

Thought this might be a good thread for anyone questioning their drinking or has loved ones with alcohol problems.
I'm in the care of the drug and alcohol support services, I'm also a professional woman holding down a good job.

So ask away...

Do you know why you drank so much?

What made you decide to stop?

Oh thank you for that reply. I had tried to google but got no answers. I hope you're feeling like this challenge is manageable. Bon Courage. xx

Are you still here OP? I think we may have a lot more more to learn from you. Did you reach the "rock bottom" that all sites seem to suggest is the necessary prompt to make a change, or was it something within yourself that drove that?

I'm still here :) thought everyone had lost interest!!!!
I didn't have 1 'rock bottom' I had 100. The problem with rock bottom is you solve it with a drink.
It was more the total slow sinking (if I'm not pushing the metaphor too far). It was the realisation that the common factor in all aspects of my life going to shit was me. Drunk me.

Moving jobs because I was ashamed (and probably not far off getting fired) was a big one. Booking 3 days off as self care, starting it with a bucks fizz and not remembering the next 2 days. Checking my phone in the morning and finding conversations with people I barely know and don't remember. If it does help anyone I can give a lot more examples.

Essentially though I was so anxious and suicidal it became a binary choice.

I was referred by my GP but it's area specific so I'd rather not say. Feel free to drop me a DM though :)

Thanks for this AMA, although I am confused about a few things.

I drink a lot more than you (wine is my demon drink too), and MH team and GP just say try to cut down and see a charity (that is known in my town to be shite).
I have pre-existing MH issues, and live alone. Not had any help offered at all.
They wont even give me meds so I can get a blood test or the Covid jab (severe needle phobia)
Where I live a bottle a night (so 63 units a week) is considered low and no one will bat an eyelid.

go to AA. 63 units a week is going to be fucking up your liver at the very least

You say you drink more than a bottle of wine a night.

Your body is feeling the effects much more than you seem to realise.

As well as your organs, it'll be effecting your moods, sleep quality, skin and more.

I don't say that to be a dick, it's just scientific fact.

Sorry @XenoBitch I've read your post again and maybe you do realise it's affecting you and have been refused help. If that's the case, please do go to AA and see if it helps

@monsteramunch and @BlackBarbie

Yep, I know what it is doing to me, and I don't care. AA is not for me.. I don't do groups and i don't do any sort of talking about or submitting to a higher power.

oh right, you might change your mind when your organs start packing up but as long as you don’t have to do any talking about a higher power

@RedRedWhiney

How did your drinking get started? When did you first drink and what were your impressions of alcohol and drinking at that time?

ok, that is a pretty shitty thing to say tbh. What was your aim with your comment?

was it? you said you don’t care 🤷🏿‍♀️

You imply that I will be begging to a higher power when my organs pack up.
Why do you think that? You do not know me at all.

What is your point? AA is not for me. I don't do groups and I do not do all this higher power stuff that comes with it. I have knownmany people who tried AA.. some it was crap for.. and the ones it was good for, they still go decades later...

Please can you tell me how I can get some help? I know I'm killing myself and I can't stop.

I don't drink shorts or even wine, but I do drink 8-10 cans of lager a night easily.

I know exactly what it is doing to my body, but I just can't stop.

speak to your GP if you haven’t already. go to AA, it works if you’re ready. start taking thiamin (ask a pharmacist). Work out your triggers and start making changes to avoid them. Stopping will be so hard at times but so worth it

Thank you @BlackBarbie

best of luck with it!

@BlackBarbie Thanks. I've drank this way for 15 years now.

I have the odd night off, and it feels like eternity. I don't get symptoms of abstinence when I do stop. I never drink before a certain time, and I go to work every day.

I have an achy feeling in my right upper quadrant. Doctors have dismissed me in the past. I don't know if I've done too much damage for it to be reversible. I know if I continue, it won't be.

I piss the bed constantly. I'm always buying wet sheets.

My dad was an alcoholic and died at 50. I think I won't make it to his age if I continue.

I have now done the week stay with my friend and she did amazing. She was on a medicated withdrawal as it was too dangerous for her to stop. Apart from being a bit woozy and needing a nap she didn't have any crazy side effects from the drugs. She has to go to a relapse prevention group twice a week and now the alcohol is out of her system the real work starts. She has gone to her cousin for a week but she really wants this so hopefully she can do it.

I dont think anyone will be able to get help without some kind of group therapy - they dont just dish out tablets and thats it.

If you aren't ready for proper help then i have heard people trying the 10% method - drink 10% less for 3 days, then 10% less again and reducing it down over a period of many weeks.

Have you been completely transparent with the doctor about how much you're drinking?

It's in excess of 110 units based on 8 cans of lager daily. Maybe 130+ depending on strength.

Could you see your GP with those figures written down? If you've been dismissed by them I would ask the surgery to book you in with another one tbh, it's shocking they haven't referred you if you've told them honestly how much you're drinking.

People still go to AA decades later because they are alcoholics.
An alcoholic can dedicate their life to drinking, or dedicate their life to being sober, just stopping drinking doesn't solve the problem, staying sober takes work.
So the people you say still go decades later, yeah they are the ones that AA has given something to that the alcoholic wants and needs.

AA is not religious, the higher power can be anything, its a power greater than yourself because if you were the highest power in the universe, you'd just be able to stop drinking and wouldn't need help with your drinking, but you can't