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AMA
Original poster

I'm an alcoholic - AMA

183 replies

RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 21:24

Thought this might be a good thread for anyone questioning their drinking or has loved ones with alcohol problems.
I'm in the care of the drug and alcohol support services, I'm also a professional woman holding down a good job.

So ask away...

OP posts:
Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 21:47

NiceTwin · 30/10/2022 21:38

Could I tell you were an alcoholic if I was to meet you?

I'm thinking from your skin/nose that can show signs of excess alcohol.

Really good question!!
I would say no (but wouldn't everyone!)
I have had laser surgery on veins in my nose/cheeks (whilst in complete denial of what caused them). I'm quite slim and I dress well (even when everything else has gone to shit and mold growing in the kitchen I can pull it together to wash clothes)
I do have a reputation in work for being boozy and 'fun'. But I've had awful embarrassing moments.
I honestly don't know.

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Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 21:51

Pinkyxx · 30/10/2022 21:38

Are you aware of how alcohol impacts your behavior? I ask because a family member of mine is an alcoholic and I often think they must be completely oblivious to how alcohol affects the way they behave and treat people around them. Sadly, they don't want to change of even acknowledge they have a problem.

Yes very.
My family is complex but I have one person I'm very close to. I've put her through hell at times.

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xPeaceX · 30/10/2022 21:51

A managed detox sounds like a good idea. Easier than cold turkey I hope.
Are you expected to work while this is being planned out ?
Does the bottle of wine feel like enough right now?

Will they give you 3/4s of a bottle soon?

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 21:54

xPeaceX · 30/10/2022 21:51

A managed detox sounds like a good idea. Easier than cold turkey I hope.
Are you expected to work while this is being planned out ?
Does the bottle of wine feel like enough right now?

Will they give you 3/4s of a bottle soon?

My goal at the moment is to manage the volume not the units. So drink as much (in volume) but less alcohol. So think spritzer instead of wine etc.
I've made a promise I won't touch spirits.
Nurse suggested red wine diluted with coke. Was as horrid as I imagined 🤣

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Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 21:57

xPeaceX · 30/10/2022 21:51

A managed detox sounds like a good idea. Easier than cold turkey I hope.
Are you expected to work while this is being planned out ?
Does the bottle of wine feel like enough right now?

Will they give you 3/4s of a bottle soon?

Also
If you have support you can usually have a home detox. Because I live on my own, and have MH issues, it would need to be residential.
This in its self is an issue as I'd need 2 weeks off work, usually at quite short notice.
A lot of the support is only during work time which really angers me, as I feel you don't really get help until you've reached the very bottom.

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TheRossatron · 30/10/2022 21:59

Do you not worry about driving if alcohol is constantly in your system?

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:03

PineapplePear · 30/10/2022 21:43

Noticing your username, do you think wine is easier to slip into alcoholism, or are all alcohols the same? A woman in my work used to split a bottle of wine with her dh most nights, making and eating dinner. After they split, she began drinking a bottle a night, and got worse from there. She was recovered and glowing by the time I met her, but she said she thought wine was more ‘acceptable’ at the start, and didn’t realise the mess she was getting in.

well done for getting yourself the right help x

Yes. And yes again.
Even now I still have that defensive thing of 'I only drink wine. And occasionally gin'
But on a weekend I was hitting 2 - 3 bottles of wine a day, and if I bought a bottle of gin it wouldn't last 2 days. But every gin would have ice, and lemon slices, and frozen berries..... drinking 3 bottles of wine a day didn't make me alcoholic because I was frinking them out of habitat glasses

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Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:04

TheRossatron · 30/10/2022 21:59

Do you not worry about driving if alcohol is constantly in your system?

I don't drive. Alcohol has always been more important

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xPeaceX · 30/10/2022 22:06

I hope it's possible to distract yourself. The catherine grey book on audible if very good I've heard. Gabor Mate on audible is also such a soothing listen.
Take care of yourself and stay strong. you deserve to conquer this.
x

Yankydoodledandy · 30/10/2022 22:09

Do you have a preference? Meaning, do you buy top end wine or just go for cheap and cheerful or doesnt it matter?

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:13

FranklySonImTheGaffer · 30/10/2022 21:45

How did you make the decision to get help and how did you get the ball rolling?

Could the people around you have done anything to help?

No one could have stopped me drinking. And I'd have resented them if they tried.
However, alcoholism is very miss understood. I have someone who I love dearly (and loves me) who doesn't understand that I'm under supervision and if I just stopped drinking it could be very dangerous.

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OnTheBrinkOfChange · 30/10/2022 22:13

Red wine with Perrier water tastes okay. I think one reason is that it looks the same colour so your brain thinks that you're drinking as much. I'm not sure whether that's helpful or not!

Margo34 · 30/10/2022 22:14

How many times have you been in a managed program for alcoholism?

Will this time be the last time for you or do you think that's not a realistic?

Dartmoorcheffy · 30/10/2022 22:15

Just an idea but have you tried red wine with tonic. I find it really nice and it will dilute the wine much better than coke.

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:16

Yankydoodledandy · 30/10/2022 22:09

Do you have a preference? Meaning, do you buy top end wine or just go for cheap and cheerful or doesnt it matter?

I'm currently getting to the end of a £4 tesco wine.

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olapexidum · 30/10/2022 22:16

What would happen if you just stopped without detox?

Arnaquer · 30/10/2022 22:17

Very interesting and thanks for your honesty. I can see how easy it is to slip into dependency and how difficult to get out again. I really wish you well.

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:17

Margo34 · 30/10/2022 22:14

How many times have you been in a managed program for alcoholism?

Will this time be the last time for you or do you think that's not a realistic?

This is the first time.
I think I've had a problem for at least a decade, but it takes a while to really makes itself known. Then wham

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Highfivemum · 30/10/2022 22:18

From a person who’s close relative is an alcoholic firstly well done for taking account of your actions. Being honest and getting help.
Did you get pestered to seek help or just did it all yourself. ? I speak from as a really affected person by an alcoholic and the feeling that I could do nothing to help them. The feeling that I was so unimportant to them. That drink was more important. The promises the lies., going round in circles . The totally rejection by them. I just so wish I could do more. Been told to stop enabling them .. to walk away etc but how do you do that to someone you love. ??

can you suggest anyway that a person can help an alcoholic ?

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:19

Dartmoorcheffy · 30/10/2022 22:15

Just an idea but have you tried red wine with tonic. I find it really nice and it will dilute the wine much better than coke.

Thank you to you, and poster above, that genuinely does help 🙏😆

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TheClogLady · 30/10/2022 22:20

Have you ever justified your drinking (even to yourself) by working extra hard to compensate/convince the world you are functional?

(all the alcoholics I know are high achievers at work, it’s life outside of work that is destroyed)

Cavagirl · 30/10/2022 22:22

Do you actually enjoy what you're drinking? Or is it quite mindless?

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:22

olapexidum · 30/10/2022 22:16

What would happen if you just stopped without detox?

I've tried the odd day, and I get very bad sweats and morning shakes. I'm on a high does of thiamine.
I don't think I'm at that level (Although denial is a wonderful thing) but you can die from sudden alcohol withdrawal

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FusionChefGeoff · 30/10/2022 22:24

Most AA meetings are in the evenings just to counter your statement that all the help is during work time.

So my question is have you ever tried AA?

Original poster
RedRedWhiney · 30/10/2022 22:25

TheClogLady · 30/10/2022 22:20

Have you ever justified your drinking (even to yourself) by working extra hard to compensate/convince the world you are functional?

(all the alcoholics I know are high achievers at work, it’s life outside of work that is destroyed)

I've never quite thought about it like that before.
Yes, I'm reasonably high achieving. But tbh I think that just gives me the money to pay for it. Even when I was a skint student I was the Binge drinker.

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