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AMA
Original poster

other woman AMA

109 replies

jennyOW · 26/09/2022 14:55

Have NC for this as obviously there will be backlash.

I am the 'other woman' - I have been sleeping with a married man for around 6 months. We do not date or go out anywhere, just sex and we text all day/night.

Thought people may have questions about this so go for it - Ask Me Anything!

OP posts:
bg21 · 26/09/2022 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

diamondpony80 · 26/09/2022 16:21

You text all day and night? And you say there's no feelings involved? I don't buy it.

WindsweptNotInteresting · 26/09/2022 16:22

NC12345665 · 26/09/2022 16:06

What does "rhubarb" mean?

Where is your daughter when you're traipsing all your casual shags through the house, op?

I think it means that poster does not believe the OP is genuine. As in rubbish. I think!

mmmflakycrust81 · 26/09/2022 16:31

NC12345665 · 26/09/2022 16:06

What does "rhubarb" mean?

Where is your daughter when you're traipsing all your casual shags through the house, op?

So she is never allowed to have sex then? What are single parents meant to do?

mmmflakycrust81 · 26/09/2022 16:32

Its pretty easy to work out who married a cheating tosser based on these comments....

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/09/2022 16:35

mmmflakycrust81 · 26/09/2022 16:31

So she is never allowed to have sex then? What are single parents meant to do?

Show quote history

Not get with a married man.

Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 16:36

Yeiscray · 26/09/2022 16:16

Have you ever been cheated on before?

Why do you only seek permanent FWB and not a close and meaningful relationship?

Do you think you might be sociopathic?

Never been cheated on before (that I know of anyway!).
No not sociopathic and not saying I'll never want a relationship but right now, with all the demands of my daughter, it's not suitable

OP posts:
Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 16:37

Thosefuckers · 26/09/2022 16:18

Never mind the bitter comments.
Which one of you initiated the affair and how? Has anyone in work picked up on it?

He initiated it, had been talking about something work wise and it led on to more casual chat which became flirty and now here we are.
Nope, we don't actually work together so no one that would pick up on it

OP posts:
Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 16:38

HuntingoftheSnark · 26/09/2022 16:20

You are doing exactly as he is doing..... It's not as if he's told you he's single when he isn't. You know he's married. What you are doing is no better than what he is doing. You're both as bad as each other.

I disagree - I'm not condoning it but the OP hasn't made or broken any vows to another person.

OP - is this as far as you are willing to commit yourself, as in sex and conversation, given your commitment to your daughter?

At the moment yes! There's no way I feel able to start a relationship with anyone given the high level of care my daughter needs. In the future maybe but not right now.

OP posts:
BoopBoopBoDiddley · 26/09/2022 16:38

"Who am I spending Christmas with? My family!
We met through work but don't work together.
No I don't want him to leave her, as in I don't want him to leave her for me anyway."

You may want to read 'Getting rid of Matthew' by jane Fallon

Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 16:40

@SavingsThreads in response to your comment about him being the hooker, I agree!! I feel like if anyone is being 'used' he is. I get what I want/need from it the same way he does. There are no expectations from me.

I think people assume the 'other woman' is desperate for the man to leave his wife and be with them. For me that's absolutely not the case! And given that I've seen first hand how easy it has been for him to cheat there is no way I'd ever start anything serious with him anyway

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 26/09/2022 16:40

But even if you don't know anything about her why do you think it's ok to be part of something that would hurt her?

I couldn't do something that I know would cause emotional distress to someone by way of being complicit even if I didn't know them.

Do they have children? Do you not even care about them if they do?

NC12345665 · 26/09/2022 16:40

mmmflakycrust81 · 26/09/2022 16:32

Its pretty easy to work out who married a cheating tosser based on these comments....

I haven't been cheated on.

So what if women who have been cheated on want to comment though?

ChilliBandit · 26/09/2022 16:43

I’ve never been cheated on to my knowledge. I just think it’s sad that the OP considers this the most interesting thing about herself to start an AMA about. It doesn’t scream I have high self esteem does it. It’s says I am a boring sod with no morals or I’m a troll.

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/09/2022 16:46

mmmflakycrust81 · 26/09/2022 16:32

Its pretty easy to work out who married a cheating tosser based on these comments....

Over 16 yrs ago but I don't hold a grudge.

BacktoSlack · 26/09/2022 16:47

BacktoSlack · 26/09/2022 15:20

What always baffles me is: how/why do you find him sexy knowing that he's breaking promises and treating like dirt someone he is supposed to love? And on the assumption he has children, knowing he cares more to get his end away with you than to protect their little hearts?

Even if he was the sexiest man alive, once I'd twigged he (effectively in my eyes) enjoyed kicking kittens and laughing at them I'd no longer find him attractive.

@OP please could you answer my question? I've always wondered this and this is my opportunity to get an honest answer

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/09/2022 16:54

How do you feel being with such a weak man? A man that can't keep promises he made to his wife when he married? To "forsake all others"?

Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 16:58

BacktoSlack · 26/09/2022 15:20

What always baffles me is: how/why do you find him sexy knowing that he's breaking promises and treating like dirt someone he is supposed to love? And on the assumption he has children, knowing he cares more to get his end away with you than to protect their little hearts?

Even if he was the sexiest man alive, once I'd twigged he (effectively in my eyes) enjoyed kicking kittens and laughing at them I'd no longer find him attractive.

I think because there's no feelings involved. I find him very attractive and I actually like him in that we get on well, have things in common. If I was looking for more from him then of course this behaviour would put me off! But as it stands it's purely sexual and I have chemistry with him x

OP posts:
Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 16:59

MrsMoastyToasty · 26/09/2022 16:54

How do you feel being with such a weak man? A man that can't keep promises he made to his wife when he married? To "forsake all others"?

I think that's on him. Certainly wouldn't want more from him given that I know he can do this but in terms of physical attractiveness/sex that doesn't bother me

OP posts:
Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 17:03

ChilliBandit · 26/09/2022 16:43

I’ve never been cheated on to my knowledge. I just think it’s sad that the OP considers this the most interesting thing about herself to start an AMA about. It doesn’t scream I have high self esteem does it. It’s says I am a boring sod with no morals or I’m a troll.

I feel this is meant to offend me... definitely not the most interesting thing about my life! Never claimed it to be. Just thought some people might have questions and I was right.

OP posts:
Yeiscray · 26/09/2022 17:04

Honestly, by your replies and complete lack of empathy I would say you’re exhibiting sociopathic traits and if I was you i’d seek counselling.

A person that helps a burglar get in and out of a house, sells and makes profit from the goods is also a burglar - You are still a cheater. The fact you have zero empathy is seriously worrying, especially as you say you have such a poorly child, would you really want that drama beating at your door with everything else going on?

Get yourself on bondara for no strings, not on a married man.

Original poster
jennyOW · 26/09/2022 17:05

Madamecastafiore · 26/09/2022 16:40

But even if you don't know anything about her why do you think it's ok to be part of something that would hurt her?

I couldn't do something that I know would cause emotional distress to someone by way of being complicit even if I didn't know them.

Do they have children? Do you not even care about them if they do?

For all I know his wife could be doing the same thing, I have no idea. If I had ever met her or known anything about her I would feel different I'm sure but really it's none of my business. Same with his kids.
Do I think he's a dick for doing this? Absolutely! But do I feel guilty for what he is doing? No

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 26/09/2022 17:14

Not guilty for what he's doing, what you're doing. You're complicit in behaviour that will cause distress to his wife and children. I just can't understand how anyone would willingly cause upset to someone else regardless of knowing them or not. It's just frightfully selfish and psychopathic to not feel any empathy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Meseekslookatme · 26/09/2022 17:17

Yeiscray · 26/09/2022 17:04

Honestly, by your replies and complete lack of empathy I would say you’re exhibiting sociopathic traits and if I was you i’d seek counselling.

A person that helps a burglar get in and out of a house, sells and makes profit from the goods is also a burglar - You are still a cheater. The fact you have zero empathy is seriously worrying, especially as you say you have such a poorly child, would you really want that drama beating at your door with everything else going on?

Get yourself on bondara for no strings, not on a married man.

Bondara is a an online sex toy shop 🤔
People are able to compartmentalise without being sociopathic. Just look at all the men that cheat, are they all sociopaths? Or just looking for sex?

saywhatwhatnow · 26/09/2022 17:24

You avoided answering if he has any children?