I’m a reborn mum, AMA

[Chloefairydust]

There’s a lot of misunderstanding and judgment regarding the hobby. Just wanted to see if anyone had any questions. I have one reborn doll, that looks realistic and weighs the same as an average newborn. I like to buy cute outfits to dress her up in. I find it incredibly soothing to hold and rock her in the evening. And sometimes like to take her out in the pram. I don’t see her as a real baby, I’m aware it’s a doll. She is a piece of art, much talent goes into sculpting and painting the reborn baby dolls. She is also a therapy doll, I suffer anxiety and the doll helps me. I work in a nursing home where I see the benefits of doll therapy with dementia patients. I’m also exploring getting into the painting side of the hobby…. Ask me anything? …

Op has made it really clear that she doesn't believe or even behave as though the doll is real. She plays with it and then puts it in her wardrobe.

I agree with you @Kanaloa . I suspect that quite a few of the owners of these dolls have experienced some kind of trauma and the idea that instead of a doll they foster or work in a nursery in order to dress up real babies, as @SunnyD44 seems to be suggesting is quite frightening .

I don’t play with reborn dolls. I was responding to that post because I find it a ridiculous amount of ignorance and stupidity to suggest that somebody who soothes anxiety by playing with a doll should just ‘foster babies or get a job on a maternity ward or at a nursery’ to ‘cuddle and dress up the babies.’ No wonder op doesn’t want to answer some of these questions when they’re so obviously goady and/or stupid.

How can you possibly answer a question for someone else if you don’t even do it yourself.

What an odd thing to do.

Do you go onto every AMA threads and speak for the OP?

My question may have been stupid in your eyes but it definitely wasn’t goady.
As I don’t do this myself then of course my question may come across stupid or obvious to someone who does do it but you could say the same for ever other AMA threads.

It's still playing. Do you object to children playing with dolls because they aren't creating a "thing"? Why should the benefits of doll playing not be applicable to adults?

I don’t need to play with reborn dolls or be the op to explain the obvious reasons why fostering or working with small babies isn’t comparable to playing with a doll. If it wasn’t goady I’d wonder if you even thought as you typed it out.

@shinynewapple22 I didn’t suggest it, I asked why OP didn’t work with babies.

A teddy would not soothe me in the same way a cat does.
So I asked OP why she feels a doll soothes her more than the real thing apart from the examples I gave.

I don’t need to play with reborn dolls or be the op to explain the obvious reasons why fostering or working with small babies isn’t comparable to playing with a doll. If it wasn’t goady I’d wonder if you even thought as you typed it out.

It wasn’t goady and I had thought it out as I’ve often thought about it a lot as there are so many babies in need that I come across and someone who is obviously very caring and has a maternal instinct would seem like a great fit.

I just don’t know anyone in real life that does it, so I’ve never been able to ask them and it’s obviously a personal question and on here someone can choose not to answer.

If someone loves dogs and find dogs good for their anxiety they will spend time around dogs, not teddies.

If someone loves horses and finds them therapeutic, they will spend their time around real horses and not a statue.

So it’s not stupid or goady to think if someone loves babies and finds them good for their anxiety that they’d find a real baby better than a doll.

My question to OP was why a doll is better.

If you think it’s a stupid question then move on and ignore it.
It’s up to OP to decide if it’s stupid and whether she decides to answer it or not. Not you or anyone else as I have no been rude of disrespectful to OP in any way.

20 years ago I would have thought it quite strange tbh. I then saw a woman pushing a huge old fashioned Silver Cross pram with a reborn doll in it, I didn't know what to say but she explained that the doll was the nearest she could ever get to a baby of her own.

If it brings you joy, helps with anxiety, etc then thats great 👍 I have a big dolls house which really helps with my anxiety and stress.

Do you worry about any of the other women in your reborn community?

it seems to me (observational only, no studies or ‘owt) that there is a significant Venn diagram style overlap between reborn fans and mental illness, not just minor mental unwellness such as anxiety but things like extreme hoarding and/or fictitious illness (used to be called munchausens).

A woman recently complemented my dog- Shecwas pushing a pram, so obviously, I went to look at her baby in the pram-
She said “ No! No!”
Too late I saw there was no baby, but I made out I hadn’t noticed.
None of us know what goes on in people’s emotional lives, or the losses they may have endured.

I have a particular type of Victorian toy, but that in no way is a substitute for the live animal.

“
My Fake Baby” on Television was interesting-
Might still be available on you tube.
The women who collected them had very different reasons for doing so.

@oakleaffy

Was that the one with the lady who’s grandson had moved away but the show made out originally as if he’d died? I remember that being really weird. Also then the little boy seeing the doll made to look like him and calling his nan a numpty!

👋🏽 scroll along

I don’t see a reborn doll any more offensive to a woman who has experienced trauma regarding pregnancy, than say a real baby to be honest. I’m not shoving my doll under peoples noses and forcing them to hold the doll. I’m just going about my own business. Pushing the pram through a busy shopping mall, I get no strange reactions. Most people just walk by. Some glance at the baby doll and smile at me, seeing a sleeping baby in a pram. Some people compliment my ‘baby’. If I’m in a rush, I might say thank you and keep moving. If I have some time on my hands and I can sense the other person is friendly and wants to stop for a chat, then I explain actually it’s a reborn baby doll and explain my reasons for having her. I have never had a negative response and people just seem really curious, but understanding and surprised that a doll can look so real. I think in person people are a lot kinder, whereas with the anonymity of the internet the bullies and trolls are braver.

comparing a barbie doll to a reborn doll just isn’t even feasible. A reborn doll is sculpted by an artist, usually based on a real baby. Then another artist will hand paint the doll, layer upon layer of mottling, and blushing and then all the fine details and capillaries and veins. They are a one of a kind piece of art. They are then weighted to feel just like a newborn baby, the heads floppy and heavy. The good artists weigh the limbs too. Holding a barbie would feel very different.

And as for working with children. I have a job working in a nursing home, I very much love my job (despite being very underpaid and usually under appreciated) . However the reborn doll is one of my hobbies in my spare time. I’m in no position right now to have a real baby. My mum had anxiety too, I think that’s maybe why I have it. However I don’t want to pass that down to another generation, I think having a real baby would be irresponsible right now. Besides I love the freedom of my childfree lifestyle right now. Maybe in the future I will look into fostering, if I’m in good mental health and my anxiety improves. Until then I’m happy with my realistic reborn baby.

I saw that documentary, I think that’s actually what informed me on reborn dolls in the first place lol. There’s a lot on YouTube regarding reborns. When researching the hobby I liked watching the reborn family (they take their realistic babies out and film reactions), my heart is in Vermont (she talks about her collection and also her journey learning how to paint the dolls), and if you want to see roleplay then Kellie maple ( she has some nice dolls, but I don’t really get the whole role play side of the hobby)

OP herself may not be harming anyone, but the reborn industry on a whole has had negative impacts on real people. Such as those who go out and stockpile formula when there have been shortages for their dolls, make it up into bottles to pretend to feed them and then tip it down the sink. Real babies were going without while dolls had plenty.

Is there a link to a story about this? I just googled reborn babies and formula shortage but couldn't find anything

Not everyone with reborns does role play. And the ones that do usually use fake milk, or make up formula using Milac or powdered milk. I think those using real formula are in the minority and it’s not fair to judge everyone in the reborn hobby based on that.

then I explain actually it’s a reborn baby doll and explain my reasons for having her. I have never had a negative response and people just seem really curious, but understanding and surprised that a doll can look so real.

I’m surprised and glad you’ve not come across any negativity in RL.

I know someone who has a doll but she has serious MH issues and wouldn’t be allowed to keep a RL baby so has it for different reasons than you.
She has had awful experiences with people when they know it’s a doll.

There was also a man in Tesco who hit a random woman’s baby in the face because he said he thought it was a doll - WTF!

So if it was me personally I would tell people it’s a real baby (they may think you’re loony if they can see it’s not though) or just take the pram and no doll and if anyone asks say you’ve just bought it.

Maybe because real life babies aren't therapy animals and OP recognises that whereas you don't seem to?

Some of the comments here are disgusting.

OMG Sunny, I just looked up what happened about that man punching a 5 day old baby in Tesco. Like who even does that?! He only got a fine too. 😱

OMG Sunny, I just looked up what happened about that man punching a 5 day old baby in Tesco. Like who even does that?! He only got a fine too.

I didn’t realise he only got a fine! What an absolute joke!

Ever since it happened I have worried about the reactions people get from taking their dolls in public.
It’s nice to hear that you’ve not had any negativity at all.

To be fair a man like that was likely to become violent or dangerous in some way anyway. I mean who sees someone with a doll and thinks ‘I’m going to run up and frighten that woman by punching her doll.’ I think the reborn dolls are a bit of a red herring there, he’s just a violent man who accidentally directed his frightening aggression to the wrong subject. Or deliberately punched a baby then lied by saying ‘I thought it was a doll’ because if we’re honest I’ve never seen a real life baby I was close enough to go punch that I could mistake for a doll.

He does sound like a violent man anyway to be fair, can’t believe he only got a fine. How bad is our justice system?! Like sorry I punched your baby but here’s £100 so it’s ok now … 🤨

And I guess I have been lucky with the people I have spoken to, saying that most people don’t really engage in conversation, and the ones that do tend to be pleasant people. I think most people are very busy and everyone is just in their own bubble going about their own business most of the time. I mean think about it, how many people do you walk past who have a baby in a pram in town? How many do you stop and talk to? Like most folk just go about their daily business without talking to strangers 🤷🏼‍♀️

I watched a few videos on YouTube from the reborn family. The lady holds the reborn baby in her arms and pretty much approaches people in public who always think the baby is real, she then tells them it’s actually a doll, and lets people hold and experience the doll. And I know it’s in America , but everyone seems to have a positive reaction. Now I’m not inviting that sort of attention, I just mind my own business with the reborn tucked in the pram like a sleeping baby.

To be fair a man like that was likely to become violent or dangerous in some way anyway. I mean who sees someone with a doll and thinks ‘I’m going to run up and frighten that woman by punching her doll.’

Oh yes he definitely sounds violent as if he did think it was a doll he wanted to intimidate and scare the women.

I remember reading about someone in America and it actually made me really sad as she did it because she wanted a baby and she felt like the doll was real.

But do you think anyone would be rude/rash enough to express anything else?

To be entirely honest, if someone approached me in the street with a reborn doll in their arms, I would assume that they're quite fragile, and wouldn't dream of being anything other than kind to them.