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Original poster

I’m a reborn mum, AMA

168 replies

Chloefairydust · 04/09/2022 04:08

There’s a lot of misunderstanding and judgment regarding the hobby. Just wanted to see if anyone had any questions. I have one reborn doll, that looks realistic and weighs the same as an average newborn. I like to buy cute outfits to dress her up in. I find it incredibly soothing to hold and rock her in the evening. And sometimes like to take her out in the pram. I don’t see her as a real baby, I’m aware it’s a doll. She is a piece of art, much talent goes into sculpting and painting the reborn baby dolls. She is also a therapy doll, I suffer anxiety and the doll helps me. I work in a nursing home where I see the benefits of doll therapy with dementia patients. I’m also exploring getting into the painting side of the hobby…. Ask me anything? …

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 04/09/2022 09:16

OP you sound lovely, are you getting help for your anxiety? It sounds like a gentle and soothing hobby. I know I feel attached to my daughter's childhood teddy yet don't care about my dog shredding any of his stuffed animals so I can see the logic of 'caring' for an object.

If you had a magic wand that meant you could have a real baby, would you go ahead and have one?

saraclara · 04/09/2022 09:17

my elderly mum has a robotic dementia dog

Now that is a wonderful idea. I just found a YouTube video about one of those, and the whole thing just melted my heart. And I'm not generally at all sentimental. But I recently lost my lovely MIL to dementia and could just imagine her loving one of these.

MsRosley · 04/09/2022 09:20

In all kindness, OP, I think you'd have been better off spending that money on therapy. This isn't a hobby, it's a kind of desperate coping mechanism, and you might benefit from exploring why you need it.

Soubriquet · 04/09/2022 09:23

I desperately want one of these. I want a silicone one that is as realistic as possible.

Just so I can buy baby clothes to dress them up with.

But they are so darn expensive. The kind I want is £1k plus

saraclara · 04/09/2022 09:23

MsRosley · 04/09/2022 09:20

In all kindness, OP, I think you'd have been better off spending that money on therapy. This isn't a hobby, it's a kind of desperate coping mechanism, and you might benefit from exploring why you need it.

This is an AMA thread. Not a relationships or AIBU OP. It's not the place to be personal or judgmental.

blablablagobshite · 04/09/2022 09:23

Oh I think they are lovely. I wish I could afford one too. Sounds like you really enjoy yours too so that's great! I would love one made to look like my son when he was tiny (he's a now 6,3 teenager).

LynneBenfield · 04/09/2022 09:26

Draughtycatflapreturns · 04/09/2022 09:03

I’d like a reborn David Hasselhoff so I could take him out to the woods and ride him while my husband is at work.

Actual LOL.

Idontgiveashitanymore · 04/09/2022 09:34

If it gives you comfort then fair enough. Taking it out on the street is a bit off putting to me, ( no offence)

ItsJustLittleOlMe · 04/09/2022 09:44

No questions, just wanted to say that you're not harming anyone so continue as you are! There are worse things in the world that you could be buying/doing.

RaRaRaspoutine · 04/09/2022 09:49

I just wanted to say what a cute hobby. It’s soothing, doesn’t hurt anyone and clearly helps you. So good on you!

vroom321 · 04/09/2022 10:00

Do you take it on holiday?
If not do you miss it?
If you do do you put it in a suitcase and check it in?
Does it have a birthday?
Do you throw it a party?
Do you take it on the garden?
Have your neighbours noticed you pushing a pram?

9thlife · 04/09/2022 10:02

Although I don’t understand taking it out in the pushchair I don’t see any problem with it.
it brings you comfort.
As someone up thread said there some amazing fantasy ones ( and some simply scary looking baby ones!).
i like to collect things that some people probably judge me for so who gives a shit, you do you!

SunnyD44 · 04/09/2022 10:08

Why don’t you - have your own child, foster babies, work in a nursery/ maternity ward/ as a nanny etc?

Why is the fake version better than the real one?
Is it just because they don’t grow up, cry etc?

whatwasIgoingtosay · 04/09/2022 10:15

OP, when you do an AMA, you have to come back and answer people's questions - that's the whole point. Nearly all the posters here have been very respectful and have asked questions out of genuine curiosity - won't you come back and address these for us? Thank you!

Kanaloa · 04/09/2022 10:19

SunnyD44 · 04/09/2022 10:08

Why don’t you - have your own child, foster babies, work in a nursery/ maternity ward/ as a nanny etc?

Why is the fake version better than the real one?
Is it just because they don’t grow up, cry etc?

I mean I’m not the op but I can answer this - do you not see the difference between the huge huge commitment of fostering babies (any baby removed at birth to be fostered will already have extensive trauma) and buying a doll you can play with? She specifically says the doll helps her anxiety - a traumatised foster baby won’t do that. Neither will a job at a nursery.

shinynewapple22 · 04/09/2022 10:20

@CrustyCrotch you can buy 'pretend' cats which purr when you stroke them for adults with dementia - but I don't think they are at all realistic - a bit odd looking in fact .

ThickCutSteakChips · 04/09/2022 10:22

Draughtycatflapreturns · 04/09/2022 09:03

I’d like a reborn David Hasselhoff so I could take him out to the woods and ride him while my husband is at work.

Grin

David Hassellhoff though...really?!

Sally090807 · 04/09/2022 10:28

I must admit if I leant in to someone’s pram to see the baby and realised it was a fake one I’d be a little creeped out.

BreatheAndFocus · 04/09/2022 10:28

I get the comfort of cuddling a doll and even dressing it up, like playing with a favourite childhood doll, but I want to ask - and this is a genuine question and not a dig or insult - do you not feel embarrassed taking it out in public? I mean knowing it’s not a real baby but treating it like it is?

SunnyD44 · 04/09/2022 10:39

^I mean I’m not the op but I can answer this - do you not see the difference between the huge huge commitment of fostering babies (any baby removed at birth to be fostered will already have extensive trauma) and buying a doll you can play with? She specifically says the doll helps her anxiety - a traumatised foster baby won’t do that.*
Neither will a job at a nursery.

No not really.

I find animals very soothing but a teddy or a mechanical one wouldn’t cut it for me as it’s not the real thing.

If I couldn’t commit to having a pet full time then I would volunteer or get a job with them in some way.

Maybe it’s different if you have a strong maternal instinct like OP and being around real babies makes it worse.

diddl · 04/09/2022 10:42

For me it's also the taking out in the pram that's odd.

Why do that?

IrisVersicolor · 04/09/2022 10:42

I don’t know OP I put it in the same box as a lonely man with a girlfriend experience doll. Well not literally the same box, the dolls being different sizes.

dandelionthistle · 04/09/2022 10:43

Kanaloa · 04/09/2022 10:19

I mean I’m not the op but I can answer this - do you not see the difference between the huge huge commitment of fostering babies (any baby removed at birth to be fostered will already have extensive trauma) and buying a doll you can play with? She specifically says the doll helps her anxiety - a traumatised foster baby won’t do that. Neither will a job at a nursery.

Show quote history

Quite - would that more people be so mindful as to whether a real baby or a doll would be better for meeting their own needs!

2bazookas · 04/09/2022 10:49

It's not a baby and you are not its mother.

I won't go along with that delusion/ pretence because I don't have dementia .

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/09/2022 10:50

I can see how it could help with anxiety.

But I can also imagine it could escalate to the point that it becomes an obsession with life of its own, so I’d watch that - at the point people are getting nurseries rather than keeping the doll in a draw, then I think it’s slipped over to an obsession that detaches people from realty and isolates them.