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AMA
Original poster

I've served a prison sentence

598 replies

NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 17:51

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

OP posts:
FlamingMadKatie · 01/08/2022 20:01

I’d just like to thank you for sharing this, it’s extremely enlightening and hopefully will stop many of us, who have let’s face it, led more sheltered lives, from judging people in different circumstances.
Good to know you and others in that terrifying situation have been able to move on. Peace and love X

Sunshineona · 01/08/2022 20:01

NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:38

Yes I was interviewed by 2 male detectives.

I had just been to asda for my weekly shop when a few police turned up at my house, arrested me, searched my house and took me to the police station. 10 hours in a cell and then I was questioned for hours! Then I was released on bail. It took 2 years for the CPS to decide weather or not to prosecute me which was the worst two years of my life. I was worried sick every day.

I had a solicitor, I paid for him and he was adamant nothing would happen and that the charges would be dropped. Then when I was charged he was adamant I'd get community service at the worst, or a suspended sentence. He told me not to take a bag or anything to sentencing because I'd get a slap on the wrist and be able to go home but thankfully I took one anyway.

Yeah I was encouraged to 'grass' on him but I (stupidly) kept quiet and made it worse for myself. The police came to see me before I was released too to ask me again for any info I might have on him and his associates. I shit myself when two police were there to see me!

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I’m sorry you had such a crap solicitor.

I hope the rest of your life is awesome.

xx

Danoo · 01/08/2022 20:03

Glad this mistake in your youth hasn't destroyed your whole life.

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:03

Kanaloa · 01/08/2022 19:00

Not strictly about being in prison, but what was the hardest thing upon release? I know for those relatives I’ve had in prison they’ve always struggled not to go back to how it was before even when they’ve done well inside. Also I know it can be hard if you don’t have good family support and a bit of financial help.

Well done on turning things around. It’s hard to go from rock bottom to back into society. And I know how hard it is to extract yourself from bad lifestyles - anyone who does so should feel proud.

There are so many hard things after release but I'm not sure what I would say the hardest is.

I was lucky I had a great family who took me in so I didn't have to worry about finding somewhere to live ect.

I had a tag on my ankle for 3 months so I felt ashamed going anywhere as I didn't want anyone to see! And I haaaated bumping into people I'd went to school with as I just thought they'd be judging me. I had grown adults messaging me telling me to kill myself ect.

A girl who I shared a room with was released about a year after me, she had no family support. I bought her bedding ect for her hostel and a new outfit, a food shop ect but she couldn't get a job and hated the hostel so went straight back to crime.

Thanks for your lovely comment x

OP posts:
KezzabellaB · 01/08/2022 20:04

Americano75 · 01/08/2022 19:51

Trust me, you'd be fine. Any trouble tends to happen outwith the education department, and prisoners see education as a privilege that they don't want to lose. Plus you'd have an alarm and be given personal protection training before you start work.

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I second that. I've worked in a prison for the last 8 years, not as an officer. You'll be well trained to deal with anything that may happen but it's unlikely it will. Especially if you remember where it is you're working, I think some of the staff where I work forget sometimes!

piefacedClique · 01/08/2022 20:05

I find these threads really eye opening. Thanks OP. Ok…. a few thoughts….

What was the first thing you did when you got out?
Who picks you up?
How does it feel when you’ve done all the reunions (although I suppose you have visitors) when you get in to your own space and you are completely on your own and in silence? I’m guessing there is never silence in prison?
Did you keep any of your prison belongings or did you leave them? As a way of closing the door on the experience?
How often are you allowed visitors? How is Christmas in Prison?

sorry….. I sound like my daughter when she questions me! 🫣

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:06

CallOnMe · 01/08/2022 19:00

Do you think prison life is easier than normal life?

And do you think it does enough to deter re-offenders?

In my hardest times I’ve often fantasised about going to prison for a break but the toilet situation would worry me 😂

If you were in for 12 months did it feel like that or did it go quickly or drag?

I’m so thankful you have done this thread. It’s my best AMA by far.

Ive always wanted to be a prison guard but I don’t think I could work with peados.

I’m really glad that you found work afterwards as I’ve heard that’s a big issue and can cause prisoners to re-offend.

As stupid as it sounds yes life is easy in prison, unless you're getting bullied or have mental health issues because there is zero support. But I found that in a strange way, there was no point worrying because there was literally nothing you could do, you were locked up.

I wouldn't recommend going for a break though haha. I got 12 months, so I served 3 in jail but it caused tears of disruption. The 3 months in jail were far better than the two years I'd spent on bail, and as stupid as it sounds as soon as the sentencing was over I felt relieved, even though it wasn't the outcome I was expecting or hoping for, but it meant I could stop worrying.

I think in mens prisons the sex offenders are segregated so you could work in one that doesn't have them haha!

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:07

JustAsking90 · 01/08/2022 19:05

You sound decent. Like you were in a shit situation, got caught out, served your sentence and matured a hell of a lot. I used to be a bit of a shithead too - always have big respect for people like us who got out despite a few scars. So many of us never manage to change. Good on you.

Thank you! That's basically what happened haha xx

OP posts:
Thorilicious · 01/08/2022 20:07

Hi Op, this is really interesting, thank you.
Could I please ask if you think prison is an effective deterrent, or is there another way that people found guilty of crimes could be dealt with?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:08

Thatsenoughnow · 01/08/2022 19:01

Sorry if you've been asked this but do you think that prison was the right punishment for your crime? And how much rehabilitation went on in there?

Every person sentenced to jail probably says the same but no I thought it was very very harsh for the crime.

I'd never even heard of the crime before I was arrested for it! It was like they'd made it up. People in jail would ask what I was in for and respond with 'what's that?'

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:09

Society · 01/08/2022 19:06

I don't have a question OP but just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread. I think people are unaware of how many ex offenders they come into contact with daily, who are just completely normal people getting on with their lives. You sound like you've really turned your life around and that's to be applauded

The poster you speak of has some kind of fixation on all prisoners being rapists, child murderers or extremely violent criminals. Please don't let their ignorant views get to you.

Thank you! And you're right, you don't realise how many people have criminal records until you have one yourself!

Yes it's them! They seem slightly odd.

OP posts:
BobDear · 01/08/2022 20:09

OP, I could have been you if i'd carried on down the path I was on in my early twenties. No judgement from me.

My question is, did anyone 'turn their back' on you once you were released?

And if I can cheekily squeeze another in...I am in the process of working with a well known educational institution to develop and offer a very specialised training course in quite an 'aspirational' industry to female inmates with less than two years left to serve (and possibly placement upon release). Do you think this is something that would be welcomed/of interest or do most prisoners just want to get their heads down and get through the day without being badgered into things like this?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:10

Isausernameavailable · 01/08/2022 19:08

I'm running a project to get more people with lived experience working (properly paid, not volunteering) in the criminal justice system. Do you think I'll get many takers? What do you think would motivate them to get involved?

I would be surprised if you don't!!

I think some would jump at the chance, just be careful you don't employ someone that's not ready to reform. If there's ex drug users ect, you don't want a drug dealer trying to sell them drugs.

It's amazing what you're doing x

OP posts:
ShandaLear · 01/08/2022 20:11

This is a great thread, OP. Thank you. This is a bit of a flippant question and I’m not suggesting anyone goes to prison as part of their diet regime, but given the meals, snacks, and gym regime you’ve described, did you lose weight and get really fit?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:11

Ravenclawdropout · 01/08/2022 19:10

For people calling others criminals its like calling women prostitutes. Crime and prostitution are actions you do they are not your identity. As the OP has stated there is a massive range of crimes women are in for, the most serious and most violent are a minority and are not in the same category of women not paying fines or something.

Visiting prisoners is a work of mercy in the Bible as far as Jesus is concerned. "There but for the grace of God go I".
Treat others as you would want to be treated in their position.

Thank you!

Some people really did make one stupid mistake. Others were horrors and I won't deny that!

OP posts:
CbaThinkingOfAUsername · 01/08/2022 20:11

Random question lol but is there always a 'top dog' in prison? You know, like in the TV shows?

I'm sorry you ever got into that whole situation, you sound like a decent person. I hope life works out well for you x

TheHideAndSeekingHill · 01/08/2022 20:13

Thanks for doing this. I had to do some reading once about self-harm in prisons and I was absolutely shocked at how prevalent it is especially with female prisoners, absolutely heart-breaking. ( for women it's nearly 2000 incidents per 1000 prisoners, with about 1/3 to 1/2 of female prisoners self-harming).

Do you think there's anything that would really help to reduce this?

Elsiid · 01/08/2022 20:13

I want to know if there's a top dog too, and if people hit on you sexually a lot.

Orangelizard · 01/08/2022 20:14

How do the prison set the wages they pay you?

Do you get to choose your job?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:14

Eddielizzard · 01/08/2022 19:12

You're amazing, thank you for being so open and honest.

What sort of jobs could you do, and did they train you in anything so that you had more options when you got out? If they didn't, do you think learning something in prison would be a positive thing?

Thank you!

So the jobs that I can remember were;

Gardening
Painting and decorating
Kitchen work
Cleaner
Working on the visit canteen
Education
Recycling - which was the best paid job and if you did it you were guaranteed an interview upon release at the local recycling place (tip).
Working in the salon.
Librarian.

Mens prisons are better in terms of jobs, they do electrician courses, plastering courses ect, which would give you a skill upon release. I didn't learn any skills doing gardening that I could have used upon release x

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:15

OldSpinster · 01/08/2022 19:14

what sort of books did you read? Do you borrow them from the library and are the libraries good?

Are there opportunities for learning and what are they like?

You can have books posted in to you or you could borrow them from the library. I read pretty fast and I literally read 100s of books whilst I was there. Mostly crime books haha.

They do have education but it's basic, it's level 1&2 maths and English. You sit a little exam when you get there and if you fail you have to do the maths and English rather than get a job.

I think if you're there long enough you can do courses with the open university.

OP posts:
Jun345 · 01/08/2022 20:16

Wow OP, thank you so much for such an interesting thread - I’ve been reading it all out to my entire family in our lounge (at my parents for tea) we are absolutely hooked and all agree you sound like such a lovely person. You are an advert for reform.

it’s so mind blowing some of the smaller crimes you have mentioned that ended up in a jail sentence. we all here also can’t get over the fact you had to wait TWO YEARS to find out if you were going to prison, that is a prison sentence in and of itself! Can’t imagine the daily nerves and anxiety of that hanging over you 😣

I know you don’t want to give exact details of your circumstance / crime so as not to out yourself and totally understand that, but it’s so intriguing how you say people who have heard it have been shocked / didn’t know it was a crime / the CPS took two years to decide whether to prosecute - so that we can understand the kind of realm it is in, is there a way you could give us a similar version of events but change key details? Just so intrigued.

thank you again for this thread and a massive well done from our family here in our lounge haha we all think you are great and have turned it around when so many others wouldn’t have managed to. Massive respect to you x

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:17

CallOnMe · 01/08/2022 19:15

And stand your ground from the minute you get there, if you look soft people will try ask you for your clothes/food ect, just say no.

I always wondered about this - did you act extra tough or were you just normal?

Ive heard you have to go in and act really tough!

When I was training as a teacher they told me not to smile until December and I walked into my first classroom with a massive grin on my face and never stopped smiling or being nice - I think I’d be exactly the same in prison lol.

I think it’s great you have to ‘work’ too.
It gives people purpose and hopefully helps them adjust when they get back to real life.

No you don't have to act tough, just not soft!

I think if you acted tough you'd probably end up in a fight haha. But people will try it on with all the new ones to get their canteen / tobacco ect and if you say yes once you'll be hassled forever. I just acted normal, I look like a bit of a geek so I think people expected me to be soft but id just say no sorry and they wouldn't ask again xx

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:18

CallOnMe · 01/08/2022 19:16

Also were you ever coerced into taking drugs or doing anything you didn’t want to do whilst in jail?

No! I did try some 'hooch' though which is homemade alcohol. We grew it behind the tumble dryer. I wouldn't recommend it x

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:20

Jalisco;

They don't seperate women into different category jails, they're all put in the same one.

Likewise in a mens jail, murderers ect end up in category C/D prisons after a while, just not at the start of the sentence. But womens prisons are just mixed, you have all categories in one jail x

OP posts: