I’m a 50 yo woman with grey hair, an expanding waist, a sore vagina and a love of Ozark. AMA

[Hucklead]

I’m sure that you want to know many, many things about me!

[Hucklead]

@nilpois

Would you rather eat ice cream flavour poo or poo
flavoured ice cream?

Also will you be my best friend? You're brilliant!

Ice cream flavoured poo. I’m all about the taste.

[KimWexlersPonyTail]

Currently sitting hear with my also completely dead fanjo watching the utterly brilliant Ozark

[Hucklead]

@nilpois

Would you rather eat ice cream flavour poo or poo
flavoured ice cream?

Also will you be my best friend? You're brilliant!

And yes, we can be BESTIES and go to a spa day.

[Hucklead]

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads

Do you want to be my friend?

Yes I do. You can come to the spa day too! We’ll take over the jacuzzi and hoot and holler like trollops.

[Hucklead]

@EhDelVice

Have you ever seen a ghost?

If a ghost saw you, what would you like it to witness you doing?

Well. My lovely mum died recently. Last night I was quite sick and I had a dream that I was at work, in my pyjamas, trying to find somewhere to sleep. I woke up in my childhood bedroom and my mum was sitting next to me. I said, ‘you can’t be here, you’re dead!’ and she just smiled.
And I touched her arm and I kissed her, and she was no longer frail or breathless.

And I know that was just a dream, but it was the best dream I’ve ever had (I really have been sick today though. I’m even funnier when I’m well) so I have decided to believe it wasn’t a dream but it was MY MUM.

If a ghost saw me though, I’d like to make it jump.

[Hucklead]

@WellThatsMeScrewed

50!!! Sorry didn’t mean to add 9 years

EVERYTHING. Make a list and make it happen. I am 2 years into a 5 year plan and living life!

[Hucklead]

@Snog

What is the worst accident you have ever had?
And what careers advice would you have given to your 14 year old self?

My brother knocked my tooth out on the dodgems. I’ve actually lived a charmed life. (Apart from divorce, breast cancer and my lovely mum!).

”Now then, 14 year old Huck. I know people at school take the piss out of you for being a girly swot, doing your homework and doing well in exams, but KEEP GOING AND GIVE NO SHITS. You are going to have a joyous and fulfilling career.”

[Hucklead]

@DownToTheSeaAgain

If you had the choice of half a day of peace and quiet or half an hour of Brad Pitt* to do whatever you wanted in/with which would you choose and why?

*insert your choice of eye candy as appropriate

I have a sore fanjo so I will just take the time to read my book and lay on the bed. Ask me again when the Estriol starts to work.

[Hucklead]

@Terriblecreature

Nope, genuine comment

In that case, you can come to the spa day too!!

[ZenNudist]

Are you representative of all of mumsnet ever? If not, WHY NOT?

[Hucklead]

@GalactatingGoddess

What advice would you give a near 30 year old woman?

Also, any ideas on how I can stop eating junk and shift 21 lbs? No one else seems to be able to help (including myself 😂)

My advice is that your best years are yet to come so don’t waste them.

And if shifting 21 pounds is the thing you want to do the most, nothing will stop you. If you’re not doing it, you’re probably not that bothered deep down.
I wonder if you just think you should be bothered?

Say what you mean and mean what you say!

[Hucklead]

@bigbeautifulmonster

Who wouldn't chose the latter??? 😂

Exactly. As you agree with me, you can come to the spa day too. And you can be the designated driver because you have SENSE.

[A580Hojas]

What makes you funky and funny?

[Hucklead]

@KimWexlersPonyTail

Currently sitting hear with my also completely dead fanjo watching the utterly brilliant Ozark

I wonder what I’m going to do after Ozark finishes and my fanjo has recovered.
Maybe I’ll start another thread!

[Hucklead]

@ZenNudist

Are you representative of all of mumsnet ever? If not, WHY NOT?

I am only representative of the section of mumsnet that believes a body is always bikini ready; it’s ok to feed kids Wotsits; it’s completely normal to help your neighbours out; sometimes your DH is going to piss you off but it doesn’t have to be a LTB moment; no means no with no exceptions; you can identify as absolutely anything you like, but leave others’ pronouns out of it; don’t park like a cunt.

[Hucklead]

@A580Hojas

What makes you funky and funny?

If you have to ask, we’re not vibing 😂

[FussyLittleFucker]

Are you me?

[CaptainCorellisXylophone]

@Hucklead This thread has cracked me up! Tell your OH he's a lucky man.

[TangMustang]

Have you seen Breaking Bad? If yes, which was your favourite episode?

[Hucklead]

@FussyLittleFucker

Are you me?

In the words of the Goddess Chaka Khan, I’m every woman!

[Hucklead]

@CaptainCorellisXylophone

@Hucklead This thread has cracked me up! Tell your OH he's a lucky man.

Oh he knows it. I remind him every day just in case he forgets.

[Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin]

@AgnesNaismith

I couldn’t get into Ozark - how many episodes did it take you? Shall I try again?

Hope your vag gets better soon.

I struggled with Ozark too.
But got a well sore fanny sometimes so on the same page as op with that. Thanks menopause!

[Hucklead]

@TangMustang

Have you seen Breaking Bad? If yes, which was your favourite episode?

Fourth season, episode 6. ‘Cornered’.

spoiler alert 🚨




The one where Walter says, ‘I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No! I am the one who knocks!" and Skyler is so terrified she runs away.

[Hucklead]

No. I keep a tidy garden.