I’m a 50 yo woman with grey hair, an expanding waist, a sore vagina and a love of Ozark. AMA

[Hucklead]

I’m sure that you want to know many, many things about me!

Why is your vagina sore?

(50yo Ozark loving, thick waisted, greying woman with non-sore vagina asking!)

The female doctor tells me I have atrophy. The main doctor told me it was thrush, nothing and unavoidable.

Who are you more like - Wendy, or Darlene?

Are you on hrt op?

Wendy. I’m devious.

Nope. Breast cancer. And to be fair not many symptoms, now the hot flushes are over!

You sound like an absolute hoot!

I hope there is no sarcasm in there!

Op are you me??!

Would you rather have the legs and feet of a crow, or the body and head of a wild boar?

Mouth full of farts or bum full of crisps?

Would you rather eat ice cream flavour poo or poo
flavoured ice cream?

Also will you be my best friend? You're brilliant!

Do you want to be my friend?

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Thank you, I've had THE crappest day and that made me laugh

Have you ever seen a ghost?

If a ghost saw you, what would you like it to witness you doing?

I’m 40. What should I do between now and when I turn 59?

50!!! Sorry didn’t mean to add 9 years

What is the worst accident you have ever had?
And what careers advice would you have given to your 14 year old self?

If you had the choice of half a day of peace and quiet or half an hour of Brad Pitt* to do whatever you wanted in/with which would you choose and why?

*insert your choice of eye candy as appropriate

Nope, genuine comment

What advice would you give a near 30 year old woman?

Also, any ideas on how I can stop eating junk and shift 21 lbs? No one else seems to be able to help (including myself 😂)

Who wouldn't chose the latter??? 😂

I might be - if you’re watching Liverpool and eating your body weight in cheese cake.

Legs and feet of a crow. If I had the head of a boar my glasses probably won’t fit and they cost a fortune.

Bum full of crisps. I could be like one of those gangster drug dealers who put heroin wraps up their bum, ready for later. I’ll be a walking snack.