I’m in your house

[Inulcero]

I’m in your house. Ask me anything.
AMA

Watch out for the dogs. The big one is okay, but the terrier has small man syndrome. If you're wearing high vis he will bite you btw... and don't go near him with a tape measure either!

Can you fetch us up a gin? Ta

Are you Mr/s Nobody? they get blamed for a lot here!
Get some housework done please!!

How long have you been here? I've been smelling your perfume for about an hour and what is it?

Chalking the door:

on Twelfth Night write on their doors or lintels with chalk in a pattern such as 20 ✝ C ✝ M ✝ B ✝ 22, with the numbers in this example referring to the calendar year 2022 and the crosses to Christ. The letters C, M and B stand for the traditional names of the Magi (Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar). Chalking the door is done most commonly on Epiphany Day itself. However, it can be done on any day of the Epiphany season. the Epiphanytide practice serves to protect Christian homes from evil spirits until the next Epiphany Day, at which time the custom is repeated. Families also perform this act to represent the hospitality of the Holy Family to the Magi (and all Gentiles); it thus serves as a house blessing to invite the presence of God in one's home.

What exactly did the cat do to make it sound like there was a rabid Tasmanian Devil in the kitchen five minutes ago? I asked him, as he was strangely right in front of me by the time I looked up, but he's not telling.

Fancy a gin? I haven't spoken to a soul all night and could do with a natter. I have about 20 bottles to choose from, if that will sway you.

Fit yi dein in ma hoose min?

do you want me to log into adopt me on roblox and show you my wonderful house building skills and please if i put on some robux and buy a few potions could you trade for a hyena for me whilst i have bath

Can you please put away my Christmas decorations, I’m fairly content if you serial kill me after as long as the house is tidy 🙂

DH, when did you get a MN account and why?

Are you covid?

Are you Michael McIntyre?

Tellme how to decorate

Could you top my wine up please?

Hello there. You must be new. Is your hourly rate sufficient to ask you to clean the silver and hang up the wet washing please?

Would you mind cleaning the kitchen? That hob. Nasty. Sorry.

be a love and bring me a cup of tea
Milk no sugar
Choccie biscuit wouldn't go a miss either

Oh, you saw the For Sale sign outside? Make me an offer.

Where's the shed key?

@Toottooot

Fit yi dein in ma hoose min?

Foos yer doos quine?

Oh, so it's you.
I keep saying that there must be someone living here I haven't met yet because there's no way only two people can make the amount of laundry I have to do.
Take your turn now and again and we'll say no more about it?

Can you stay till 6am and check my child gets up for their paper round. I said I would but I don't want to!

Are you Lloyd Grossman?

What colours should we do in this room?