Traded hot pants for hijab, i converted to Islam AMA

[user14943608381]

I’m going to be occupied with a cluster feeding newborn so thought an Ama would be fun. So, I used to drink, go clubbing, love mini skirts and dating but I gave it all up and became Muslim. For a little while I even wore the face veil.

Ask me anything!

I’m pretty clued up in theology and the sharia for feel free to ask me anything on that too! (Disclaimer though some opinions are my own and not the ‘majority consensus’)

Can you still wear bright colours and still enjoy music.

Can you explain what you have to do if your husband wants to take another wife? How does this work in reality? Thanks

As someone who was raised muslim (but is the worst muslim to exist 🤣), how do you personally stop the high levels of islamophobia in the UK getting you down?

Are you treated differently when out and about?

My friend went hot pants to hijab and I can see the difference in how people behave towards her compared to before.

@B0J0ker

Can you explain what you have to do if your husband wants to take another wife? How does this work in reality? Thanks

What you mean what you have to do? Other you agree with it or you dont and leave the marriage surely? What other option is there.

Were you accepted by the Muslim community? Do you find fasting hard? Do the rules around periods and not being able to go to funerals etc whilst you’re on your period difficult to reconcile?

@jewel1968

Could you explain in simple terms why you (or other women) wear the headscarf, veil etc ... Is it about modesty? And why is modesty important? Why don't men cover up (or perhaps they do?) in the same way women do?

I am an atheist so struggle a bit to understand the believe people have in a higher being so apologies if my questions are direct?

Do you think there are beings on other planets?

Does being Muslim impact your political beliefs?

What would you find the most offensive thing a non Muslim could say or do?

I actually no longer wear the headscarf but I used to. So the reasons I stopped: my born Muslim husband actually used to make fun of me and say I looked Amish. For me, I got too much attention in it( that makes it sound like I think I’m a great beauty, i don’t) but men would follow me around and ask me to marry them, i don’t think it was sincere proposals I think they thought because im white they could ‘date’ me. I made me feel sick, I felt more naked than when I used to go out out. The caliber of bloke was poor too, not remotely flattering. Then I started to wear the face veil if I’d go anywhere that was a Muslim area but then I got spat at and someone rammed me with their trolley and called me a terrorist so I no longer felt safe doing that.

But I do dress modestly, nothing above the ankle, below collar bone or above the elbow. For me, it’s more chic, i do feel empowered to not feel like I have to dress sexily. I think the same logic applies for a lot of women who wear the headscarf. Same with identity politics, because I’m so fair no one would ever think I’m Muslim if I don’t visually appear as such. But for some women it is conformity, there is a huge pressure from inside the Muslim community for women to behave a certain way. This is believe is utterly toxic and unislamic but like many mainstream religions it’s men the yield the power but there is a strong feminist movement claiming this back, the likes of Amina wadud being one xx

I can’t lie and I miss going out dancing!

So why can’t you go out dancing now? What’s stopping you?

@B0J0ker

Can you explain what you have to do if your husband wants to take another wife? How does this work in reality? Thanks

Well my husband would never firstly, his dad has 2 wives and he’s seen first hand how it does not work and only leads to pain.

We’re legally married too so harder but not impossible. Many women write into their nikah contract that their husband cannot take another wife. I didn’t bother with this, to me it would be akin to an affair and the marriage would be over.

I thought that Muslims had to go to the mosque to pray 5 times a day and wondered how on earth every Muslim fits it in ever single day. So if you don't have to go to the mosque do you have rules about how you pray or as long as you've said it is that ok? Sorry I'm pretty ignorant about religion in general.

Is your dh a Muslim?

@Holothane

Can you still wear bright colours and still enjoy music.

Yes to both, although some do believe music is haram. I’m not one of those

@nocoolnamesleft

You can't pray when you have your period? That sounds like a very misogynistic approach, implying that women are unclean. How do you reconcile that with your belief that women are not subservient?

I don't see it that way. It's a break because it's recognised women need it.

@RAOK

Were you accepted by the Muslim community? Do you find fasting hard? Do the rules around periods and not being able to go to funerals etc whilst you’re on your period difficult to reconcile?

That’s the hardest part, the born Muslim tend to treat converts like dirt. Especially the older generation of south Asians (sorry to say).

Fasting is hard, can’t lie, especially breaking it alone that sucks.

I don’t have Muslim family so I’ve never encountered the funeral thing. The period thing I take it as god telling us women, hey you’ve got a lot on right now, maybe some cramps, here have a break as you don’t have to make up prayers missed due to oeriod

But you say you miss going out dancing, so why don't you go anymore?

some do believe music is haram

Why?

@toomuchlaundry

But you say you miss going out dancing, so why don't you go anymore?

People tend to go out dancing going out out, with booze and ‘on the pull’ plus groping happens loads. I’d rather avoid that. I dance at home for fun and for exercise in classes.

Plus since 2019 I’ve either been pregnant or breastfeeding

@Swisscheeseleaves

I thought that Muslims had to go to the mosque to pray 5 times a day and wondered how on earth every Muslim fits it in ever single day. So if you don't have to go to the mosque do you have rules about how you pray or as long as you've said it is that ok? Sorry I'm pretty ignorant about religion in general.

Is your dh a Muslim?

No not ignorant, you don’t know what you don’t know. The steer is that it’s better for men to go to the mosque 5x a day but it’s hardly practical tbh. There steer is for women to pray at home (I believe for safety reasons back in the day) but they are not to be prohibited from attending the mosque if they want.

DH is a born Muslim :)

@Faevern

Are you treated differently when out and about?

My friend went hot pants to hijab and I can see the difference in how people behave towards her compared to before.

Yes! I’ve been spat at and rammed with trolleys.

Born Muslims have been pretty nasty too. Generally there is a lot of staring if I’m dressed islamically, it makes me very uncomfortable

Alhamdullilah. I am a revert of 9 years. I am so happy. I am.happy for you. Remember that hijab is not just hair but covering neck and chest and loose clothing. Remembering what to say to protect yourself from jinn and what to say when you eat and how to pray properly and following the sunnah.

Alhamdullilah. I am so happy for you. Allah guides whom he will.

@AtlasPine

Do you get abused on the street for wearing a hijab?

A few times, mainly more a lot of staring. Muslims are quite bad for this too

Thanks for the thread. This may sound blunt, but you said you miss wearing some of your clothes. Well, why not wear them? Does it really have to be so black and white how you follow it? So much is open to interpretation as it is.

Do you speak Arabic? Which parts of the Quaran do you feel get mistranslated the most or are the most difficult to decipher?

Just realised you have been following islam for a while. MashAllah. I thought you were a newbie revert. Regardless this is great. Please make dua for my family and I will do for yours InshaAllah

Oh dear! What do you mean by Islamic people treat you badly too?

Can't be bothered with AMAs where the OP can't use the quote function, it's meaningless otherwise unless you think we should all scroll back up to find user names to read their questions

@PlanetNormal

some do believe music is haram

Why?

There is a hadith that mentions at the end of time people will make things permissible that were haram, it lists a few things and music is one of them.

But there are also references to music being played during Eid, plus music has a huge place in Islamic history which is why I don’t believe it to be haram unless it invites you to do haram things . Ie listening to trap music inspires you to deal or take drugs then it’s haram for you to listen to that kind of music