Traded hot pants for hijab, i converted to Islam AMA

[user14943608381]

I’m going to be occupied with a cluster feeding newborn so thought an Ama would be fun. So, I used to drink, go clubbing, love mini skirts and dating but I gave it all up and became Muslim. For a little while I even wore the face veil.

Ask me anything!

I’m pretty clued up in theology and the sharia for feel free to ask me anything on that too! (Disclaimer though some opinions are my own and not the ‘majority consensus’)

The crucifixion, so one of the reasons why crucifixion was favoured by the Roman Empire (aside from the exhibitionism of it all) was that it was a really long way to die, I’m talking days. There are historical accounts of people being up there for over a week and being cut down alive. Jesus was on the cross for a matter of hours. So In my opinion unlikely to have died
He was scourged first which used to kill people on its own. It apparently caused deep wounds that reached muscles and organs, so he had lost a lot of blood and could have been quite seriously injured before having to drag a cross to the crucifixion site.

Also, «you are Peter and on this rock I build my church», doesn’t sound like someone who didn’t come to start anything new.

Why don’t Muslim women pray during their period? Are they considered unclean at that time? This alone would put me off converting.

@Staffy1

Why don’t Muslim women pray during their period? Are they considered unclean at that time? This alone would put me off converting.

It’s to give us a break whilst bleeding/in pain, which I’m very grateful for. We also aren’t required to fast when on our period, or if we’re pregnant or breastfeeding. Women’s bodies are incredible and go through a lot, it’s good to rest/not put extra pressures on top of everything else at certain times, especially if you’re unfortunate to suffer painful/heavy periods every month. I don’t think this is exclusive to Islam though?

Arrey logo tumhara kia, mein jaanoo’n mera khuda jaaney
Oh those who point fingers at me, why does it concern you?
It’s between me & my God
(and God sees in the soul not outer trappings)

Love this @CatsRCute very true!

@Staffy1

The crucifixion, so one of the reasons why crucifixion was favoured by the Roman Empire (aside from the exhibitionism of it all) was that it was a really long way to die, I’m talking days. There are historical accounts of people being up there for over a week and being cut down alive. Jesus was on the cross for a matter of hours. So In my opinion unlikely to have died He was scourged first which used to kill people on its own. It apparently caused deep wounds that reached muscles and organs, so he had lost a lot of blood and could have been quite seriously injured before having to drag a cross to the crucifixion site.

Also, «you are Peter and on this rock I build my church», doesn’t sound like someone who didn’t come to start anything new.

The study of the historical Jesus is about separating the man Jesus of Nazareth from the Christ of faith. The Christ of faith means many different things to different people, the messiah, the son of god, a prophet, an avatar of vishnu.

In the quote you cited in referring to the study of the historical Jesus not Christian interpretation of the bible.

Tell me though did Jesus refer to himself as a Christian or a Jew? He’s work was to Reform Judaism. You’ve got to remember that the bible is translated from many different languages into English. Aramaic to Ancient Greek to Latin to English (I’m sure I’ve missed a few there) church doesn’t mean a literal church like the one down the street. Just like kingdom of god wasn’t taken by romans at the time to be just talking about heaven they took it to mean leading an insurrection.

Really interesting read OP.
I'd found out a few answers to my own questions from a Muslim friend and colleagues, but your answers have helped my understanding.
Thank you and best wishes

@Staffy1

Why don’t Muslim women pray during their period? Are they considered unclean at that time? This alone would put me off converting.

My (not too great) understanding of islam is if it doesn't work for some is not good for anyone. (Not all smokers have lung cancer, right? You'd still say it's a bad thing that people shouldn't do)

There is a large minority of women who suffer a lot during their period not only in pain but severe anemia. Fasting (and prayers) can become difficult and even unhealthy/dangerous. So it's like a blessing. You don't do the fastings or prayers but you are following what Allah has commanded for you, so it's as if you did pray. Fasting you can postpone to when you are feeling better

@voldr

You said “ I’d see it as my and DHs personal failing as we’d have failed to inspire them to love their faith.” But then you contradicted yourself in the last paragraph. Parents will be held accountable for failing to raise their kids properly and encouraging them to go against the Creator.

@Pollypocket2021

So what, if OP's children turn out to be LGB she's failed to raise them properly?

Please go back to the middle ages.

Yes, she wouldn’t have raised them properly upon Islam and would be held responsible. If you don’t understand Islam please don’t insert yourself.

OP, the wife of Lot AS wasn’t gay, she supported what the people of Sodom did. That’s why Allah SWT told Lot AS to leave her behind and she faced the wrath of Allah along with the people of Sodom. You can’t cherry-pick the parts of Islam that you like and leave out others, you have to accept everything.

Not really sure how many people come to Mumsnet for inspiration when they’re thinking about converting. But you’re giving the wrong impression that it’s ok to support this and be Muslim at the same time.

It’s not cherry picking @Pollypocket2021, it’s not being a bigot and I wouldn’t stop loving my child if they were gay. Short of actively showing my kids gay porn on a regular basis I’m not sure how any parent can encourage their child to be gay. You do know that there are gay people all over the world and born into the most homophobic or environments right? So even if you raised your child as being gay= abomination, you child could still be gay, they might not come out to you but they’d still be gay. Would the parents have encouraged it then or failed to raise them correctly? How much influence Over developing sexuality do you think parents have? By raising them in a homophobic environment you won’t actually change if they are gay or not, it might mean that they struggle with it and self harm/ hate themselves / develop mental health issues / attempt suicide or even fall into dangerous closeted habits but it won’t change if they are actually attracted to the same sex.

You can absolutely be gay and Muslim. Let’s go with the logic that being gay is a sin, how is it that this sin takes you outside of Islam whereas murder doesn’t? Oh yeah, bigotry! Please answer my question to you, what would you do if your child was gay? Would you disown them? Or throw them off a building like isis did?

Oh and on the ‘ you have to accept everything’ point this irks me so much as it’s only said by bigots/ people with extreme views who want to justify their position but yet they don’t accept everything, they don’t have basic Islamic values for instance ‘whoever is not kind has no faith.’

@Pollypocket2021

Not really sure how many people come to Mumsnet for inspiration when they’re thinking about converting. But you’re giving the wrong impression that it’s ok to support this and be Muslim at the same time.

Upthread there was a mother who’s 12 year old wanted to convert so people do.

Yeah you’re right, I should’ve said when pp asked what would you do if your child was gay, ‘well, that child who grew inside of me, the child who I nervously waited at every scan appointment to see if they were ok; the child who I nurtured and prayed for, well if they were gay I’d hate them, all the love I felt for them for x amount of years, in fact before they were even born, would just disappear and as some extreme scholar has decided, I’d take them to a high cliff or mountain and Chuck them off’ - oh please.

The hysteria around homosexuality from all religious groups is frankly bordering on obsessional. No one gets this worked up about adultery, domestic violence, drug dealing (huge problem in certain pockets of the Muslim community who have rationalised it as being ok to sell drugs to the ‘kuffar’), sectarian states (Saudi/ Pakistan etc) or even murder. One has to wonder why homosexuality is always on the minds of some 🤷‍♀️

Yes, she wouldn’t have raised them properly upon Islam and would be held responsible. If you don’t understand Islam please don’t insert yourself.

@psydrive

Responsible for them being gay? You realise that you can't make someone gay right? They either are or they aren't, nothing to do with the parents.

You also haven't answered the OPs question about what you would don't your children were gay. I'm curious.

I have so many questions and would really appreciate your answers!

You say 4/5 reverts leave the faith - what do you think would help them - what kind of support do you think they would need?

I have always thought this but don't know if it's true but when non Muslims show an interest in Islam or reverting are they sort of railroaded into just saying the shahadah by the mosque / community and that's it.

Why are alot of reverts more strict than born Muslims?

What's fundamentally wrong with hot pants?

@bdd2017

What's fundamentally wrong with hot pants?

OP draws the line at hot pants but she’s doing mental gymnastics to convince people that homosexuality is allowed in Islam. 🤣 the jokes write themselves

Nothing funny about homophobia.

What someone wears is a personal choice. I don't think OP is saying there is anything wrong with hot pants, just that she personally doesn't wear them.

Homosexuality is not a choice.

Wtf is wrong with you @Pollypocket2021, I’ve never said homosexuality is ‘ok’ in Islam firstly, upthread someone asked the same question and I said the mainstream view of Islam that homosexuality is a sin, similar to Christianity not the desire but the acting on it is deemed to be sinful.

The question you were triggered about was if one of my children was gay, what would I do, don’t get me wrong because of people like you, I’d hope they wouldn’t be, but I wouldn’t stop loving them and I wouldn’t want them be to be killed. Fgs people like you are ridiculous, almost like you’re overcompensating for something

Also, we all sin even you @Pollypocket2021, hard to imagine I know -_- but let’s say homosexuality is a sin, it’s not one of the 7 major sins and one can still be Muslim even if one is a sinner. Same if you’ve stolen something or dealt drugs both are sins but don’t stop you from being Muslim

@bdd2017

What's fundamentally wrong with hot pants?

It’s just not me anymore

@Gomorra

I have so many questions and would really appreciate your answers!

You say 4/5 reverts leave the faith - what do you think would help them - what kind of support do you think they would need?

I have always thought this but don't know if it's true but when non Muslims show an interest in Islam or reverting are they sort of railroaded into just saying the shahadah by the mosque / community and that's it.

Why are alot of reverts more strict than born Muslims?

So I’d think your point on railroading into saying the shahada is true, there is pressure a lot of ‘don’t delay, if you died tonight you’d die in a state of disbelief etc’. I don’t know where you live but where I am pre covid there are a lot of dawah stalls and they get people to say their shahada and take pictures for social media but where’s the follow up there? In the space of 3 minutes someone’s life (in theory) has completely changed.

So the space to research and come back ask questions I think would be helpful, but you get ‘reward’ for people you convert to Islam and these people do it for that exact reason not realising that these people need friends and a support network after.

There’s a bit of cognitive dissonance in the Muslim community, there is a huge drive to convert people but then they’re treated like outsiders.

Support wise there are some mosques (in truth they tend to be the salafi/ Saudi sponsored or just generally really strict ones) that welcome converts and are convert heavy, others tend to be based on ethnic groups. So the convert friendly mosques tend to have social events for converts to meet each other and so they don’t have to spend ramadan alone; but how nice would it be for the people who played a hand in getting this person to convert extended the hand of friendship after?

So why are converts more strict? I think there is an all or nothing mentality perpetuated by some Muslims, you’ve seen it on the discussion on homosexuality, it’s presented like you can’t be Muslim and not hate gay people. The convert friendly mosques are generally the more strict ones and the desire to be accepted id say

Thanks for your reply.

I know of the shahada stalls you speak of. We have one in our town. I have always wondered if they railroaded people to say the shahadah too. I mean if I've popped out to do a spot of shopping, the last thing I'd have expected is to come home reverted! - seems a bit random and I would have thought the process to shahadah was more organic and in your own time - a very personal experience between you and God. Is that how it was for you?

Have you felt a change in the way that people (the public, rather than your friends) treat you?

@Staffy1

Why don’t Muslim women pray during their period? Are they considered unclean at that time? This alone would put me off converting.

I am pagan, but I know that this is to allow women time to rest. Spin has changed the intent behind the requirement (or rather, the non requirement) for women to pray 5 tomes daily during their period. I believe there are also some lessening of restrictions during Ramadan for the same reason. It's not "not allowed", its "not required to".

I don't know if it is the same in other faiths but in my Christian upbringing, it was expected that women would wear a hat or hair covering in church. The explanation given was that it might 'provoke lust' in men if they saw a woman's hair. Women who were menstruating were discouraged from attending church because they were 'unclean', and women who had given birth were "churched" before they were officially allowed back.
This wasn't some cult. It was a North London basic CofE church. Not Anglican, not Catholic. And in the 1970s.

@Gomorra

Thanks for your reply.

I know of the shahada stalls you speak of. We have one in our town. I have always wondered if they railroaded people to say the shahadah too. I mean if I've popped out to do a spot of shopping, the last thing I'd have expected is to come home reverted! - seems a bit random and I would have thought the process to shahadah was more organic and in your own time - a very personal experience between you and God. Is that how it was for you?

I do think those stalls firstly are filled with people who simply a) don’t have jobs as they seem to be there every day of the week 9/5 and actually don’t have the knowledge to talk about religion. One twirp actually told me that in the bible it says Jesus didn’t drink alcohol and when I said to him that it didn’t say that he then said wine in the bible is a mistranslation for apple juice… I mean really. But they also put a lot of pressure on people to do it there and then so they can get a pic for the gram. I mean I don’t insigne you’d stop and chat if you weren’t interested but still.

Yeah I don’t believe in shahada ceremonies all it is is a sentiment from the heart, you don’t need witnesses, you don’t need a certificate (which is ridiculous as a notion but apparently you do as Saudi won’t let people with western names do hajj, don’t get me started) and you certainly don’t need a photo on Instagram haha