Traded hot pants for hijab, i converted to Islam AMA

[user14943608381]

I’m going to be occupied with a cluster feeding newborn so thought an Ama would be fun. So, I used to drink, go clubbing, love mini skirts and dating but I gave it all up and became Muslim. For a little while I even wore the face veil.

Ask me anything!

I’m pretty clued up in theology and the sharia for feel free to ask me anything on that too! (Disclaimer though some opinions are my own and not the ‘majority consensus’)

@duvetdayforeveryone

i was always left out or gossiped about so I stopped going so id largely spend it alone

Where was your husband and your children?

They were but a twinkle in my eye then, they’re only 2 and brand new.

Dhs family have this ridiculous tradition whereby men and women eat separate, they don’t separate in any other circumstance so it’s stupid. The gossip always comes back around a few days later. Haters gon hate and all that

when i was young there were muslim people around but the women just dressed like most others, knee length skirts or slacks, blouses, etc.
why is it now seen as necessary to take on the dress styles of another country and era, in order to be accepted as muslim.
i take what you say about sexualisation of women and their bodies, but many non-muslim women do not flaunt their bodies, nor wish to, and just wear regular clothes, some unisex clothes.
why can't a women be a muslim wearing western style clothes, as long as they are not intended to be sexually alluring.

@ftw163532

I can tell you how I think of them, headscarf and modesty, a really powerful statement in a world where womens bodies are commodities.

Not really.

A headscarf commodifies a woman's body just as much as hot pants.

If you believe a woman's body needs to be covered in special ways that are never applied to men, you are reducing her to a sexual object just as much as by exposing skin. It is a declaration of objectification - this female body is so dangerous and incapable of being regarded as anything but a sexual object that it must be covered up in order to be treated as a man would be. Of course it is still treating women's bodies as commodities if you think the only way someone can focus on a woman's personality/humanity is if she is covered up.

That's why you had certain men hitting on you and being inappropriate when you covered up. It's a documented phenomenon - for instance, studies on sexual harassment perpetrated against women in Egypt.

The only way women stop being commodities is if we stop considering women's dress to be relevant to their "modesty" or sexual "availability" or right to be treated with basic respect.

Veiling women pre-dates Islam anyway and was appropriated. It's always been about male control, however people try to spin it to reconcile their internal conflict about it.

I agree it predates Islam as Christians and Jews used to veil as did the pagans or Arabia.

You’ve misinterpreted what I said, I’ve not said a woman’s body needs to be covered up. I said for me, dressing more modestly than how i used to, I see as empowering. Also this is just my opinion I’m not stating it as fact

Circumcision is a sunnah (meaning it carries reward but it’s not compulsory)

^

What's the reward?

Also, your thoughts on FGM please

Can you explain why you needed a religion to help you decide how you want to live your life? In terms of dress, alcohol etc, these are all lifestyle choices you’re free to make. Do you like the feeling of being locked in metaphorically?

How do you manage to get over following a religion that is very much culturally aligned with misogyny and homophobia despite what the original message was?

@alexdgr8

when i was young there were muslim people around but the women just dressed like most others, knee length skirts or slacks, blouses, etc. why is it now seen as necessary to take on the dress styles of another country and era, in order to be accepted as muslim. i take what you say about sexualisation of women and their bodies, but many non-muslim women do not flaunt their bodies, nor wish to, and just wear regular clothes, some unisex clothes. why can't a women be a muslim wearing western style clothes, as long as they are not intended to be sexually alluring.

I agree!

I think there has been a bit of a reactionary trend in the Muslim community to become more conservative, there’s a lot invested in how women dress as you can see in this thread where I’ve been told by a stranger on the Internet to put the headscarf back on.

Are Muslim people allowed to attend the funerals of non Muslim friends and vice versa? Thank you.

men would follow me around and ask me to marry them, i don’t think it was sincere proposals

^.

Ya think?

@immersivereader

Circumcision is a sunnah (meaning it carries reward but it’s not compulsory)

^

What's the reward?

Also, your thoughts on FGM please

Reward wasn’t the best choice of words, sorry. It’s more like it is a commendable act.

FGM not exclusively a Muslim problem but a specific cultural one. It makes me shudder

@Iamanicepersonreally

Are Muslim people allowed to attend the funerals of non Muslim friends and vice versa? Thank you.

Yes, I attended my dads funeral this summer. I didn’t sing hymns but I was there

What is it about being a muslim that brings you joy?
Cann still go out partying in a short skirt if You want to?
Is it true that you can not drink alcohol but you can smoke?
Do you believe in Jesus? I know some Muslims believe he Is a prophet.
Are you on strict rules as part of your religion for example you have to do certain things every day or you make your God angry?

@immersivereader

men would follow me around and ask me to marry them, i don’t think it was sincere proposals

^.

Ya think?

Love how you’ve cut the end off what I said there, stay classy

@Jacketpotato84

What is it about being a muslim that brings you joy? Cann still go out partying in a short skirt if You want to? Is it true that you can not drink alcohol but you can smoke? Do you believe in Jesus? I know some Muslims believe he Is a prophet. Are you on strict rules as part of your religion for example you have to do certain things every day or you make your God angry?

I could go out and get shit faced if I wanted to, DH wouldn’t stop me or be too bothered. But it’s not the best place for me. I did like dancing but I didn’t like or feel good being groped by strangers, cat called or getting drinks spilled on me.

So alcohol is universally considered haram but smoking there is a difference of opinions some think haram and others makrooh (strongly discouraged) I personally believe haram as we know how bad it is for you.

All Muslims believe Jesus (Isa) was a prophet and messenger, if you don’t then you aren’t Muslim
I don’t believe that God is a vengeful god, and I don’t like the school of thought that is ‘fear Allah’ I think it should be more ‘love Allah as he loves you’

@PopsicleHustler

Alhamdullilah. I am a revert of 9 years. I am so happy. I am.happy for you. Remember that hijab is not just hair but covering neck and chest and loose clothing. Remembering what to say to protect yourself from jinn and what to say when you eat and how to pray properly and following the sunnah.

Alhamdullilah. I am so happy for you. Allah guides whom he will.

Sorry Popsicle but this is the sort of sanctimony that people on this thread refer to. For example, the Arabic greetings. Just why? Presumably neither you nor the OP have Arabic as a first language?

My born Muslim friend stopped attending a local Islamic women's group because it had been taken over by white converts who knew everything and told everyone else what to do.

Hi, I'm not Muslim. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately as my children have been asking me some interesting questions about belief. I very much think that there is 'something' out there greater than us, and that all the religions are the human way of trying to understand that 'something.' I think that a lot of organised religion is societal / geographical and also a lot of the rules / ideas were formed by the people in charge at the time - ie - men - which is why so many religions have rules about separating the sexes. I'm becoming quite feminist about these things as I think that what we are actually looking for is that connection with something greater than us and all the rules can get in the way! We can have any number of different names for god but in the end it's the same thing we're looking for - if we're looking for it!

Oh forgot to answer the joy part, honestly it’s the perspective it’s given me on life. Sometimes it’s in my darkest moments a little voice of reason or hope.

I lost my dad this summer 6 months pregnant and when he was dying I begged god to save him. I begged and begged god not to do that to me. But he passed away and I was so mad. But then I just felt this wave of wisdom or calm come over me, that the day of our death is written before we are even born, it was only ever going to happen this way, but what god gave me was more time which I otherwise wouldn’t have had due to the pandemic

What's your take on Judaism? Why not convert to that one, after all it's the original of the "big three". What's your opinion on Israel? And how do you feel about anisemitism within the Islamic community? There was an example just a couple of weeks ago.

Can only good Muslims go to heaven or can other good people go too, regardless of their religion?

If you believe a woman's body needs to be covered in special ways that are never applied to men, you are reducing her to a sexual object just as much as by exposing skin. It is a declaration of objectification - this female body is so dangerous and incapable of being regarded as anything but a sexual object that it must be covered up in order to be treated as a man would be.

My brother has converted to Islam. This is the single thing I struggle with the most; the idea that women have to cover up so as not to "tempt" men. I find it one-sided, but also quite insulting on behalf of my sons and husband by suggesting that, in some way, they can't control themselves or act appropriately around women. I just can't reconcile that with female equality and empowerment.

That said, I have female Muslim friends who have a more modern interpretation of dress and don't cover up in this way. I think my brother is part of a more conservative/traditional mosque.

Sorry to hear about your dad

It makes me sad that your DH's family aren't kind to you or about you - does he not feel able to stand up for you (even if you're not there) to tell them that if they can't speak respectfully about you, he isn't happy spending time with them and feels very let down by them?

@THisbackwithavengeance well I disliked that post as she told me to put the headscarf back on and she doesn’t know me but there’s a few things up with yours too…

Alhamdulliah isn’t a greeting it means praise to god so it’s very common and it’s an Islamic word not just an Arabic one. Islam isn’t the privilege of the Arabs

Second about your born Muslim friend thinking white Muslims know it all. A lot of born Muslims think they know it all but it’s actually culture they think is religion. Your friend clealry looks down her nose at converts as I suspect if she was corrected by a born Muslim she wouldn’t have such an issue. A lot of born Muslims are incredibly hostile to converts, I’ve experienced it and actually stopped attending my tajweed class due to it. Constantly being stared at, no one sitting next to me, breaking the lines for prayer rather than stand next to me, laughing when I made a recitation mistake… I could go on

@Terribleluck

What's your take on Judaism? Why not convert to that one, after all it's the original of the "big three". What's your opinion on Israel? And how do you feel about anisemitism within the Islamic community? There was an example just a couple of weeks ago.

Judaism is so so similar to Islam, more so than Christianity and historically speaking Muslims and Jews have been closer allies than Christians and Jews.

Yes there is a huge amount of anti Jewish hatred in the muslim community. It’s stupid and those people are uneducated.

Israel is complex because palestians are treated as second class citizens and stripped of basic civil rights. I believe it’s our job as citizens of the world to call out injustice wherever we see it. BUT if you are just calling out Israel and not China or Pakistan and Saudi then I don’t think you’re concern is human rights

[quote Namechangetimes100]@THisbackwithavengeance well I disliked that post as she told me to put the headscarf back on and she doesn’t know me but there’s a few things up with yours too…

Alhamdulliah isn’t a greeting it means praise to god so it’s very common and it’s an Islamic word not just an Arabic one. Islam isn’t the privilege of the Arabs

Second about your born Muslim friend thinking white Muslims know it all. A lot of born Muslims think they know it all but it’s actually culture they think is religion. Your friend clealry looks down her nose at converts as I suspect if she was corrected by a born Muslim she wouldn’t have such an issue. A lot of born Muslims are incredibly hostile to converts, I’ve experienced it and actually stopped attending my tajweed class due to it. Constantly being stared at, no one sitting next to me, breaking the lines for prayer rather than stand next to me, laughing when I made a recitation mistake… I could go on[/quote]
I’m sorry they did that to you. It is a credit to the strength of your character and your faith that you didn’t let it deter you. You are a stronger woman than I am.

@mnp321

If you believe a woman's body needs to be covered in special ways that are never applied to men, you are reducing her to a sexual object just as much as by exposing skin. It is a declaration of objectification - this female body is so dangerous and incapable of being regarded as anything but a sexual object that it must be covered up in order to be treated as a man would be.

My brother has converted to Islam. This is the single thing I struggle with the most; the idea that women have to cover up so as not to "tempt" men. I find it one-sided, but also quite insulting on behalf of my sons and husband by suggesting that, in some way, they can't control themselves or act appropriately around women. I just can't reconcile that with female equality and empowerment.

That said, I have female Muslim friends who have a more modern interpretation of dress and don't cover up in this way. I think my brother is part of a more conservative/traditional mosque.

I find that logic vile too! Women must cover up to not be too tempting, it’s insulting to men too.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Sorry to hear about your dad

It makes me sad that your DH's family aren't kind to you or about you - does he not feel able to stand up for you (even if you're not there) to tell them that if they can't speak respectfully about you, he isn't happy spending time with them and feels very let down by them?

He does but because nothing happens in the open because backbiting never does they always deny it.

I’ve rationalised it as dogs bark